Paying Old Debts
by Cheryl W
Summary: Complete An old enemy of Van's emerges. Now with Deaq and Billie's help Van may get the chance to pay off old debts.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Author's Notes: First and foremost I wanted to thank everyone who read and reviewed my other fastlane fic. I was very touched by your responses. In this posting, I'm going for an actual storyline. I'ld love to hear what you think of it!  
  
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Chapter 1  
  
Club 9 was crowded with the wild, young rich of LA as Deaq and Van approached the man they had come to see, Colin Martel. "I appreciate your location for a meet" Van greeted as he and Colin shook hands amidst the club's dance floor.  
  
Colin's smiled, "I like a little distraction while doing business," even as his eyes followed a blonde whose clothing left little to the imagination.  
  
"I hear that," Deaq chimed in as he also shook Colin's hand.  
  
"'Sides, my new partner's the club owner," and Colin turned around allowing Deaq and Van to see a 55 year old Italian man stroll across the club like it was his very own kingdom.  
  
Van's heart hammered in his chest and he fought hard to stand his ground as Cade Roberts steadily approached. Roberts cold blue eyes bore into Van's and a smile flipped up Roberts' lips. "Van," he greeted but Van couldn't find his voice. It made no difference, Roberts embraced him in a tight Italian hug a moment before pulling back and resting his hand against Van's cheek.  
  
"You look good, kid."  
  
"Thanks," Van finally found speech possible and plastered on a smile to match Cade's. "I had no idea you owned this club," his eyes intently staring into Cade's.  
  
"Well, it's been some years since we saw each other. But I've kept tabs on you, Van." A pause fell as Van understood the challenge and threat Cade had announced. Then Cade wrapped his arm around Van's shoulders. "Colin, I gotta take a minute or two and show the kid around. You and..." Roberts eyes rested on Van's partner, "Deaq? right?" Deaq nodded his head even as his eyes stayed worriedly on Van. "You two do the business talk. You know it bores me anyway. Van and I'll come back for the congratulatory drinks."   
  
"Hey I wouldn't mind a tour?" Deaq, with a light tone, tried to join Van on his trip.   
  
But it was Van that shut him down instead of Cade. "You just want a better scouting location for the hotties. Do what you do best Deaq, business. Let me handle the hotties." Cade and Colin laughed but Deaq's eyes grew dark with growing worry at Van's deflection.   
  
Allowing a smirk to pull onto his lips, Deaq sallied back, "Dream on bother. We all know I'm the hottie magnet and you get my leftovers. You go on your little tour and I'll do business and still have two fine ladies on my arms when you get back."  
  
Van laughed and he and Deaq knocked fists before Van let Roberts pull him in the throng of the nightclub. Deaq tried hard to keep the smile on his face as he lost sight of his partner and turned to Colin. "Business time is now, my man. Then I've got to bribe two ladies to look accommodating."  
  
Cade leaned over close to Van's ear as they pushed through the crowds, "Where's your uniform, Officer Van Ray. Forget it back at the Candy Store."   
  
Van's eyes shot to Cade's in alarm and he felt the last hope he had clung to disappear at Cade's cold calculating eyes. Some markers never got taken off the books.  
  
Cade steered Van into an office that had two way mirrors overlooking the club. The office door clicked shut an instant before Van broke free from Cade's hold, pulled his gun, leveled it at Cade's head and cocked the hammer.  
  
"You ready to die, Cade?" Van's voice was a low deadly sound. "Where do you want your body dumped? Desert or Ocean?"  
  
But no fear showed in Cade's eyes, only amusement. "No," he chuckled and walked to the two way mirrors even as Van's gun tracked him. "The question is where do you want your partner's body dumped?" and he nodded his head toward the scene the mirrors showcased.  
  
Van let his eyes drift from Cade's eyes to the view of the club even as his gun sight never wavered from it's initial target. From the office, Van could easily see Deaq and Colin talking in a booth across the room. What Van could also see was three well dressed Italians stationed not ten feet from the booth.  
  
"Kill Mr. Hayes," Cade calmly said and immediately Van watched as the Italians began to pull their guns.  
  
"No!" Van screamed and jammed the gun under Cade's jaw. "Call 'em off! Call 'em off now!"  
  
"One minute," Cade softly said and Van watched as the Italians stood down from their orders for the time frame Cade had set.  
  
"What the hell do you want?!" Van growled as he leaned into Cade.  
  
A twinkle of humor sprang to Cade's eyes, "I want you first, to get that gun out of my face. Put it away now and it'll buy your friend another minute."  
  
Hesitation reigned with Van but at the heart of it, he knew Cade Roberts. The man had no mercy. With defeat, Van stepped back from Cade, uncocked his gun and reholstered it. "Alright, now call off your dogs."  
  
"My word and my honor are one and the same, you know that, Van. In fact, I'm going to be generous. Two minutes." And Van saw Cade's men still again, ready to wait another two minutes for action.  
  
Van's eyes swung back to Cade's. "What the hell do you want?!"  
  
"Information, Officer Ray. Only information."  
  
"'Bout what?"  
  
"What's Colin's weakness?"  
  
"Is this a final round of Jeopordy?! How should I know? He's your partner?!"  
  
"But he's your mark." Van's gut clenched as Roberts' intention became clearer. "You've zeroed in on a weakness even before you make him a mark. So what's my new business partner's weakness? How were you going to bring him down?"  
  
"Police work. You know arrests, evidence, trials," Van smart mouthed back.  
  
"Take away thirty seconds," Cade ordered his men but Van immediately shouted, "Wait!"  
  
Cade stepped up toe to toe with Van. "I asked you a question. Answer it." At Van's silence, Cade ordered, "Take it down to 10 seconds. 10 ..9..8...7.."  
  
"Gambling!"  
  
"6...5..."  
  
"We were gonna give him counterfeit chips!" Van's words rushed out of him like a scream.  
  
"Five minutes." Cade rested his hand again on Van's cheek. "Counterfeiting? You are your father's son aren't you, Van?"  
  
Van flinched at the touch as much as to the words but didn't step back from Cade.   
  
"So you were going to sell him some counterfeit chips, gain access to his organization and gut him from the inside out. Nicely planned. And what evidence do you already have on Colin's organization?" At Van's hesitation Cade shook his head and slid his hand behind Van's neck, "I can take your friend out any time I want. It'ld be a shame if you get two Hayes boys killed in the line of duty."  
  
"You know everything don't you. Except what you need me to tell you about your partner. Well, I'll be a nice guy and tell you that information when you let Deaq walk outta here."  
  
"You always think you've got something to bargain with. I have your friend, Van. He's not leaving alive unless you tell me exactly what I want to know. You of all people know what I'm capable of."  
  
Van's look told Cade that he had not forgotten that lesson in the eleven years since it had been taught.   
  
"As for what I want to know about Colin, I know that his business will be mine before this club shuts down tonight. What I don't know is if your friend Deaq will be among the missing when the sun of a new day hits the ocean. Only you know that one."  
  
Roughly Cade spun Van around and slammed him against the glass, pressing his face against the two way mirror. "Deaq's life is in your hands, Van. Whether he lives or dies tonight is up to you." Cade whispered in Van's ear, "What evidence do you have on Colin?"  
  
The scene before Van was like some slow motion movie. The dance floor was packed, the lights were pulsing and Deaq sat in a booth laughing, unaware that his life hung on a thread. A thread Van grasped.  
  
"Colin's brother flipped when he got caught on a murder charge. He's been leaking information to us since last year," Van gave up, his voice radiating the cost this betrayal had on his soul.   
  
"You know transactions but you don't know the locations or the contacts." Cade interpreted. Van nodded in agreement. Cade's voice snaked into Van's ear, "You did good, Van. Your friend's gonna live to walk out of here.. long as you don't tip off Colin to our little talk here and Deaq leaves my club before times up. Three minutes."   
  
Unexpectedly Van's body exploded in agony and a cry broke from Van's throat as Cade's famous icepick sank into his lower back. "For old times sake." Cade whispered in Van's ear before he pulled the icepick free and released his hold on the undercover cop.  
  
Van slid down the mirror to the floor. Cade crouched down beside him and flipped him over and leaned him back against the wall. "Suck it up, Van. Like your old man used to say, 'Pros play hurt.'" Cade zipped up Van's jacket, concealing the wound from view. "Time's wasting. Save your partner or sit in here and wait to hear the bullets. It's your decision." And Cade stood up, "Thanks for playing final jeopardy." And Cade walked out of the office and shut the door behind him.  
  
TBC  
  
I would love to hear what you think so far!! 


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to Reviews are at the bottom of this chapter  
  
*******************************  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Propped up against the wall, Van's mind raced even as his body screamed in agony. With slow, painful motion, Van pulled his phone from his pocket and attempted to call Deaq. But his phone beeped with "No signal".   
  
An anguished curse tumbled from Van. Nothing was ever easy. Knowing that Deaq's life still rested in his hands, Van clenched his teeth and using the wall as support, he struggled to his feet. He staggered a moment but closed his eyes and forced his agony to take a backseat.   
  
When he reopened his eyes, resolve glimmered in their depths. He wouldn't get Deaq killed tonight. Not over his past. Zipping his jacket up higher, Van took a breath and then strode from the room.  
  
He pushed past the dancers on the floor and the drunks crowding the bar to make his way to Deaq. Passing one of the Italians that threatened Deaq, Van had a fleeting idea of taking him out. But the idea died as the man's eyes seared into his. They were ready for him to make such a stupid move, ready and anxious to finally get a chance to see some action tonight.  
  
Van decided to disappoint them but his eyes bore into the Italian he passed, unmasking his challenge if the man made one move to harm Deaq. But the Italian met his look with a smug smile. He knew the score even if Van didn't.  
  
Finally Van stood by the booth that Colin and Deaq occupied. "Hey dude, our next appointment ain't patient," he greeted as Deaq and Colin's attention rested on him. Deaq tried hard to read Van but he trusted his partner enough to go along with this new direction.  
  
"Yeah, well, our business is done here. Guess we'll be seeing you at the meet Colin my man," Deaq jovially shot to Colin even as he stood from the booth.  
  
Colin extended his hand and both Van and Deaq shook it. "Have a nice evening gentlemen."   
  
With that said, Van turned on his heel and began to make his way to the door even as Deaq fell into step beside him. "You are gonna catch me up on what's happening, right?" Deaq undertoned but Van's reply was silence.  
  
'Pros play hurt,' ran through Van's head in his father's voice as he forced himself to take step after step, always focusing on the objective. The door. Three minutes were about up and if Van knew Cade, the clock only stopped once Deaq was out the club door. Or, for all Van knew, the clock only stopped once they were past the club's property line. Cade changed the rules any time he wanted.  
  
Deaq was surprised when Van gripped his arm and practically propelled him out of the club doors. As soon as he could stop his momentum, Deaq spun, ready to round on Van. But the car keys came arching through the air and he instinctively caught them.  
  
"Just drive, Deaq," Van lowly ordered as he passed Deaq and climbed into the Ferrari's passenger side.   
  
For a moment Deaq stood there confused. Van was acting strange even for Van. With frustration, Deaq crossed to the car, hopped into the driver's side and turned to Van.  
  
"Damn it, Deaq, just put the car in motion already!" Van growled, his eyes piercing Deaq's even in the darkness of the night.  
  
"Fine," Deaq bit out, bringing the engine to life and peeling out of the parking lot. The car streaked down the road at 95 mph, leaving behind Club 9.  
  
"You wanna tell me what's up Van?!" Deaq shouted, sending a glare to his silent partner. "Who the hell is Roberts? And how does he know you?! And why'd we leave Club 9 like it was the plague?"  
  
Leaning heavily against the leather interior of the seat, Van let Deaq's questions wash over him. Deaq wasn't ready to hear the answers and Van didn't think he'd ever be ready to speak them. He'd broken. Van had told Cade anything he wanted to know. He had betrayed his partner, his boss and his oath as a police officer. Dying didn't seem such a bad thing.   
  
"I'll explain everything tomorrow. Just drop me home, Deaq," Van countered, opting to take the details of his final screw up to his grave. Deaq was safe and that was all that mattered.   
  
Deaq shot an incredulous look to his partner across the dark interior of the sports car. "Hell no I'm not waiting for tomorrow! And neither is Billie! She's waiting at the Candy Store for us to report! Did you forget that?"  
  
Van sighed, his breath hitching in pain, he had forgotten. It looked like he had a hand to play before he checked out. Not for the first time he cursed his father for ever doing business with Cade Roberts. Even McNar had abandoned Ray Ray on that dealing. McNar always was the smarter businessman.  
  
Silence fell in the car and Van shivered as cold gripped onto his soul. Fleetingly he wondered how hard it was going to be to get his blood stains out of the leather seats. A smile pulled onto his pale features. It was almost poetic justice that a piece of him was gonna stay in a car, especially a sports car. Well, until they reupholstered.   
  
Deaq's voice broke into Van's morbid thoughts. But this time Deaq's tone was soft, worried, and persistent, "Why are you shutting me out, Van? Does this Roberts have some kinda hold on you? 'Cause if he does, you and me can work it out. You know that, right?"  
  
Deaq picked a hell of a time to be the optimist. Especially when fate had already stepped in. But Deaq's words went straight to Van's heart. Deaq deserved to know the truth about tonight. Van's voice was quiet and hollow, "I knew Roberts when I was a kid. Guess he kept track of me 'cause he knows I'm a cop now."   
  
A curse erupted from Deaq. "Just great!! Our cover's blown! Maybe permanently! How much did he know 'bout our setup with Colin? And how much does he know about you, me and the Candy Store?"  
  
Van rolled his head on the headrest to face Deaq. "Everything," he croaked and then purposely looked away from Deaq. With bitter anguish he confessed, "And what he didn't know, I told him."  
  
The Ferrari swerved as Deaq's head swung to face Van. "What?!" he shouted even as he wrestled the steering wheel back to a straight line.  
  
"Now will you take me home?" Van pleaded softly.   
  
"Why?! Why'd you flip? Is Roberts a friend?!" Deaq demanded as his eyes swiveled between the road and his partner.  
  
A bitter smile crept onto Van's face, "Cade Roberts is no one's friend."  
  
"Then tell me why you told him everything?!"  
  
Van's voice barely carried to Deaq, "Because he was gonna kill you in the club."  
  
This information hit Deaq like a truck but his voice was reassuring when he spoke, "I was OK, Van. I was hiding out in a public place like any smart black man."  
  
But Van's head snapped to face Deaq, "You think Roberts gives a damn about public places? About witnesses or repercussions? I saw his men, they could have iced you before you even took your first swallow of scotch!"  
  
"Saw his men?!" Deaq exclaimed in disbelief. "You weren't even around, Van?!" But then Deaq shot a look to Van in growing suspicion. "How'd you know I had a scotch? Waitress took the glass and brought me a beer by the time you got back."  
  
"Roberts has a two-way mirror in his office. I saw you drinking the scotch and I saw Roberts' three men each with a straight shot at you." Van leaned heavily back in the seat. "I didn't have a choice Deaq not unless I wanted to watch you get a lick shot to the skull. I told Roberts about Colin's brother and the gambling chips."  
  
"Oh damn," Deaq cursed with anguish, feeling for Van's predicament as well as the mess that they had on their hands. "We gotta protect Colin's brother."  
  
"No, Roberts doesn't care about him."  
  
"Doesn't care about him? Van the man is compromising his new business partnership."  
  
"Roberts doesn't take on partners, he dumps them in the desert or the ocean. Colin's already on his way to one of those locales."  
  
"We gotta call this in!" Deaq said and reached for his phone but Van gripped his arm.   
  
Van's eyes sought Deaq's in the dark interior of the car. "There's nothing you can do now. Don't make Roberts your enemy over something that's already done. Roberts takes no prisoners man. He will kill you."  
  
"He didn't kill me tonight," Deaq brazenly countered.  
  
"'Cause he had no beef with you. It was just business tonight."  
  
"Business between you and him." And Van could hear the accusation and distrust in Deaq's voice. "How come you're all worried 'bout him coming after me and not you? How come he didn't threaten to kill you in the club?"  
  
A glimmer of sad humor sparkled in Van's eyes as they met Deaq's, "Cade and I are way beyond threats."  
  
"To say Billie isn't gonna be pleased is an understatement," Deaq sighed.  
  
Van made no comment but settled back more heavily against the seat. Deaq was safe and knew what cards Roberts was holding. Van's work was done.  
  
Deaq shot a look to Van as the quiet grew in the car but could hardly make out his partner in the darkness. He let the silence remain between them as he maneuvered the streets that would lead them to the candy store.  
  
TBC  
  
I know...I know..It's still a cliffie! But getting out of messy situations isn't so easy!  
  
Thanks for reading and I hope to hear what you think of this chapter and the story in general!  
  
Replies to Reviews:  
  
Me: You were the first to review this story and I was so grateful you liked the story !!!! The first review really sets the tone so I appreciate that you took the time to review! Hope to hear what you think of this chapter!  
  
Hazelnut: Thanks for your review! Sorry this chapter took kinda long to arrive but I hope you liked it.  
  
G: Thanks for your review! Glad you "love" it and hope you still do after this chapter.  
  
DKM: I loved your enthusiastic review! It really got me motivated to pen the next chapter.  
  
Leann: I had to laugh out loud when I read your review! Thanks so much for your dramatic response to the story. And I totally agree...I love Van angst, love Van's past and yeah, ok I just love Van. (We have excellent taste)  
  
Kathy: Thanks for your review! And I'm glad you like digging into Van's past. It just seems like such a rip area to drudge up some angst. And I love angst.  
  
Lynne: I'm flattered that you think my writing is intense! I always felt the show was intense so I'm trying real hard to keep that energy alive. I guess this chapter didn't really relieve your stress. I'll try to work on that for the following chapter.  
  
Fan4fastln: Thank you for "loving" my sense of the characters. I'm always striving to not go out of character with my stories...'cause what we all love are the characters as they were on the show.   
  
Meike: Thanks so much for the email and the review! I appreciate your loyalty to the story! Hope this chapter lets you get some sleep! And I'll work hard to get chapter 3 written and posted.   
  
All shades of black: I hope you're still breathing! I know, this chapter is STILL a cliffie but hey, you at least know Deaq's OK. Thanks so much for saying my cliffie in chapter 1 was one of the worst cliff-hangers you have ever read. That made my day! And I'm glad you like the descriptions of my new characters! Sometimes that so hard to visualize so I always have a real actor in mind for the big parts. (Cade Roberts is being played by Eric Roberts in this tale ...well at least in my head). 


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to Reviews are at the bottom of this chapter  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
The silence held between the two men until Deaq pulled into the Candy Store and cut the engine. Then, without facing Van, Deaq warned, "Get ready to be raked over the coals, Van." And he climbed from the car and called out, "Yo, Billie. We're back." Noticing Van had not yet exited the car, Deaq pounded on the roof, "Out Van. I am not facing her wrath alone." And with that said, Deaq started to head for Billie's office.  
  
"Pros play hurt," Van mumbled to himself as he opened the car door. With determination, he used the door like a crutch to get out of the car and onto his feet. But agony as well as weakness seeped into every cell and he staggered against the door. He watched Deaq's back as his partner continued to the office.  
  
"Suck it up, Van Ray," Van groused lowly to himself and pushed away from the door. When he was certain he was capable of standing unaided, he shut the car door. But walking seemed like a whole other mountain to climb.  
  
Sensing Van's hesitant motion, Deaq jokingly called out "Stop stalling Van," before he turned around. But all humor left Deaq as his eyes alighted on his partner's ashen face and swaying body. "Van?!" he called out in alarm even as he started to make his way to Van.  
  
"I'm coming," Van reassured but his voice was now weak and filled with pain. He managed to force his legs to take a step but the effort seemed too much as they began to crumble under him.  
  
When Van began to sink to the floor, Deaq ran forward and caught Van in his arms. Panic tore into Deaq as Van collapsed heavily against him. "Van!?!" Deaq cried out and gently eased Van to the floor, tenderly placing Van's head onto the hard surface. Pulling his hands from around Van, Deaq's breath caught painfully in his throat at the sight of the blood staining his right hand.  
  
Turning around toward the rest of the candy store, Deaq screamed "Billie!!" before he faced Van again. Now kneeling beside Van, Deaq's terrified eyes met Van's pain filled ones. "Hang on, Van," Deaq ordered gently as he unzipped Van's jacket and saw the blood that soaked the far left of his shirt. Tenderly he rolled Van over, seeking the true source of the blood.   
  
Upon seeing the wound on Van's back, an anguished cry of "No!" tore from Deaq. Immediately he pulled his shirt off and pressed it against the wound before rolling Van gently onto his back again.  
  
Deaq's anguished eyes met Van's as he put a hand against Van's cheek, "Why didn't you say something?!" Deaq choked out.  
  
"Pros play hurt," Van answered in a voice now ragged with pain.   
  
Deaq watched as blood speckled onto Van's lips indicating the internal bleeding Van was suffering. "Damn you and your pride!" Deaq croaked as his emotions threatened to overtake him.  
  
Suddenly Billie was kneeling beside Deaq, "Van?!"  
  
"Call an ambulance!" Deaq ordered but at Billie's frozen stance, he gripped her arm, finally getting her eyes to met his. "Billie, go call an ambulance. Now!"   
  
Breaking from her shock, Billie surged to her feet and ran for her office. Deaq refocused on Van. "Stay with me, Van. Just keep on fighting."  
  
"I..I don't think...I've got any ...fight left ... in me, Deaq," Van breathlessly replied.  
  
"Yes, yes you do!" Deaq exclaimed as he leaned over Van. "You're no quitter, Van! I know that about you!"  
  
Van's eyes searched Deaq's in desperation. "I..I flipped Deaq. That's how...you'll remember...me. But I..I had ...no other...choice. He woulda...killled ...you," Van gasped, his words growing softer with each breath.  
  
"You did it to save me, I know that now. You still got your honor, Van and ain't nobody gonna take it away from you," Deaq firmly announced.   
  
Billie reappeared beside Deaq, "Ambulance is on it's way," she reassured as her soft eyes met Van's.   
  
"I ...screwed...up, Billie," Van fought for breath even as more blood seeped onto his lips.  
  
Billie brushed Van's hair lightly with her hand, "Shhhh...we'll work this all out. You just don't leave us, alright. You stay right here, Van. I haven't given you permission to die on us."  
  
Deaq clasped Van's hand in his own and raised them, "You ain't getting out of this partnership this easy, Van. Now you keep fighting."  
  
Van's mind fought to stay conscious but his body was beginning to shut down. Suddenly a void washed over him like a wave he couldn't out surf.  
  
In horror, Deaq watched Van's eyes close even as the hand he held become limp. "Van!?!" he called out with terror.  
  
Billie felt for a pulse in Van's neck, "He's alive but barely," she announced as she looked to Deaq.   
  
Deaq leaned over Van again, even as he tightly grasped his hand. "Fight, Van! Damn you Fight!! I lost Dre, I can't lose you too, man. Don't do this to me!"  
  
Deaq didn't notice how rigid the hospital chair was, didn't see the patients and visitors walk by him, or even register that Billie sat beside him. Only one thing mattered to him right here, right now. Van.  
  
A thousand thoughts screamed through Deaq's head. How could he have not noticed Van was injured?! He had yelled at him in the car, accused him of flipping to Roberts, and then he had ordered him out of the car at the Candy Store. All while Van was sitting there, bleeding, maybe even dy... No. Deaq shut that thought down instantly. Van would be Ok. He was Van. The guy that couldn't sit still for two seconds, the guy that couldn't stay quiet for a millisecond, the guy that didn't ever back down, no matter how tough things looked.  
  
Leaning over his knees, holding his head, Deaq's anguish was a tangible thing. Billie wished she could say something to ease his pain. Trouble was, she didn't believe in offering false hope and right now that was the only type of hope she was clinging to. The doctors weren't giving Van great odds on surviving. Internal bleeding, blood loss, severity of the damage...none of it was encouraging. So she offered Deaq no words of comfort, save her presence. She barely recognized the soft, broken voice as Deaq's.  
  
"He never said a word. All he cared about was getting me clear. And I...I'm there yelling at him, accusing him of..." he broke off as he thought of the territory he was crossing into. He would never tell Billie what Van had done tonight to save his life, how he had sacrificed his honor for Deaq's life. 'He did more than that,' ran through Deaq's mind, 'he sacrificed his life for mine.'  
  
Billie laid her hand on Deaq's back, "Van always puts everyone before himself, Deaq. You know that, it's what makes him one of a kind." A tender smile pulled onto Billie's face, "Well, that and how he whines like a little boy and talks all the time and makes you feel like he's your little brother you have to protect from the big bad world."  
  
A soft laugh broke from Deaq, "Yeah," and he sat up for the first time but didn't face Billie. "But I didn't protect him."  
  
"I didn't mean..." Billie began but Deaq held up his hand and looked at her.  
  
"I know you didn't but it's true. He didn't screw up, I did." Deaq's voice suddenly switched from anguished to self hatred, "The second I saw that look on his face, I shoulda closed the deal down!"  
  
Billie stared intently at Deaq, hoping to finally get some details about what had occurred that night. "What look, Deaq?"   
  
Swallowing hard, he answered, "Like the reaper just stepped outta hell to greet him."  
  
"Tell me what happened tonight, Deaq?" Billie pleaded rather than ordered.  
  
With a shaking breath, Deaq relayed the evenings events from his prospective and broke off abruptly with "we got to the candy store and then...." He surged from the chair and began to pace in front of Billie. "I shoulda noticed he was hurting! I shoulda stopped him from taking that "tour" alone with Roberts!"  
  
"But you said so yourself, Van convinced you to stay behind and do business with Colin. Van knew Roberts, knew what he was capable of. Knowing Van, he thought you would be safer if you weren't on the 'tour'." Billie analyzed.  
  
"I know but that doesn't make it better! Don't you get it, he risked himself to save me! He ignored what Roberts did to him, how he hurt him, and instead worried about getting me out of Roberts' reach. How can I live knowing...." Deaq words faltered.   
  
Billie looked up to Deaq's pain-filled eyes, "Van would willingly die for you, Deaq. I know you know that."  
  
A tear streamed down Deaq's face, "Yeah, but I don't want him to, Billie."  
  
With her heart breaking, Billie stood and hugged Deaq. His arms encircled her tightly as she breathed, "I know, Deaq. I know. But the decision was never yours to make, it was Van's."  
  
TBC  
  
Sorry about the cliffie! AGAIN! But next chapter I'll try to do better and leave you somewhere a little less horrible. Did I forget to mention this story would have some angst in it?! Ooops!!! (Now I warn you!)  
  
Thanks to one and all who read this chapter. I would truly love to hear what you think of this chapter..  
  
Replies to Reviews:  
  
DKM: As you realized, I'm still keeping you guessing about what happened between Roberts and Van. But don't worry, it will be revealed soon. Thanks for staying with this story and reviewing!!!  
  
Hello: Thanks for the review and I hope you're still tuning in.  
  
Meike: Well, this chapter isn't exactly going to ease your sleeping problem but hey, at least Van's in good hands right?! Thank you so much for thinking I'm talented and liking my writing style!?! Hope to hear what you think of chapter 3!   
  
Lynne: I was relieved that you liked chapter 2! Hope Chapter 3 still has you in knots...I know I'm cruel! Did you like the way Deaq found out about Van's injury?! I always love writing about hidden injuries. As for Van and Deaq shaping up to be great friends..you bet..I just wish the series had been renewed so we could see it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!!!  
  
JC6: Thanks for reading and reviewing this story! I know, I didn't update soon enough!  
  
Fan4fastln: I'm honored that you've looked everyday for another chapter!?!?! And I know, Van's life is still hanging in the balance at the end of this chapter?!? (I'm really quite cruel aren't I?!) And I hope I can remain true to the characters throughout the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
  
Leann: Yes, I am evil and this chapter still proves that. And Roberts and Van's past will be revealed soon. Hope you enjoyed your latest "hit", I mean, this latest chapter! Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
  
Mady Bay: I'm really honored that you dropped in to read this story! I'm still so touched by your review on my Houston Knights story. I doubt this story will measure up to that one and I'm a little afraid you will be disappointed but I hope you won't. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!!  
  
Sassylassy13: Boy do I know what you are talking about. I HATE getting all involved in a story only to have the author NEVER finish it!! Because of that hatred, I WILL finish this story...but it may take me some time so if you want to wait until it's finished I wouldn't blame you at all. In fact I've made it a habit to check to see if stories are finished before latching onto them. No use falling in love with an unfinished tale..it's just too hard wondering where the plot would have gone!  
  
Silent Typewriter: Thanks for reading and reviewing! So glad you like the story so far. Loved to hear what you think of this chapter!  
  
Till next time!  
  
Cheryl W. 


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to Reviews are at the bottom of this chapter  
  
*******************************  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Hours later, when a doctor approached Deaq and Billie, both rose, fear clouding their faces. "How's Van?" Deaq demanded, piercing the doctor with a look that warned harsh repercussions for ill news.  
  
"He came through the surgery well. The next few hours are crucial but if no infection sets in, he has a good chance of living."  
  
Immediately Deaq shook the doctor's hand, "Thank you, doctor. When can we see him."  
  
"He'll be in recovery for another two hours and then, if everything seems fine, we'll move him into a room where you can visit him. Why don't you take a break from your vigil and come back in a few hours," the doctor replies.  
  
"We'll do that, Doctor," Billie complied and, with a nod, the doctor left. Turning to Deaq, Billie's features darkened with resolve. "Let's take a trip to Club 9."  
  
But Deaq shook his head, "No." And he reclaimed his chair. "I'm not leaving Van."  
  
Sitting beside Deaq, Billie turned to her junior officer and gently proposed, "You can't see Van for another two hours, we can have Roberts handcuffed and locked in a cell before Van even gets out of recovery."But she could see Deaq's decision before he spoke.  
  
"I'm not leaving, Van," Deaq stated, meeting Billie's eyes. "Not for some revenge trip...I'm not letting my anger make me abandon another person I give a damn about ..not like I did Dre."  
  
Sensing that no words she offered would sway Deaq, she patted him on the knee, "Alright. I'll handle Cade Roberts for the both of us." And she stood up and began to walk away.  
  
"If he resists arrest, you'll shoot him right?" Deaq called after her.  
  
Turning Billie smiled with deadliness, "Maybe even if he doesn't resist." And then she swung out of the doors.  
  
*************************  
  
Billie swung out of the hospital doors, worry for Van creasing her face and taking down Roberts on her mind. Her phone rang and she answered it still on the move. "Hello."  
  
"Billie, we need to talk," Captain Perish, her boss, greeted.  
  
But Billie countered with steel in her tone, "After I bring in Roberts."  
  
"No. Now. I'll meet you at the Candy Store," and before she could protest he hung up.  
  
***************************  
  
Twenty minutes later Captain Perish stepped into Billie's office at the Candy Store and Billie looked up from reading Cade Roberts's file. Before the captain could say a word she firmly stated, "I'm taking Cade Roberts down." But she could read the protest in his expression and her tone turned to steel, "Don't tell me to back off."  
  
Claiming a chair, the captain steadily met Billie's eyes, "I'm not asking you to...the Feds are. They've been working to get an air tight case on Roberts and they are extremely worried that you will jeopardize their operation."  
  
The Federal Government's involvement did not faze Billie. Cade Roberts was one bad boy. Leaning back in her chair she gave the impression of indifference to his words but Perish knew her well enough to know it was all a façade. Calmly she began, "And how long have they been working on building their case?" Suddenly her eyes darkened and her tone turned critical, "What "year" do they think they might actually make a move? I read Roberts's file. He's got Mob ties for drug trafficking and money laundering and he's been "thought" to be tied to at least ten murders" then her voice dropped subzero, "at least three he did personally, with ice picks."   
  
The captain added, "And those are only the murders that the Feds have any hope of tying to Roberts. No one knows many murders he's ordered his men to carry out." He let that sink in before he continued, "The ice pick is Roberts's personal trademark. He makes few things personal." His eyes bore into Billie's. "You know Roberts's relationship with Van?" he asked trying hard to not let accusation tint his tone.  
  
But Billie felt the implications strongly and, abandoning her relaxed pose, she leaned forward and pierced her boss with her look. "Relationship?! Van doesn't have a relationship with Roberts. Roberts knew Van as a kid. A dad like Van's, that's no surprise."  
  
"I'll look into the connection," Perish said, hoping to avoid dangerous ground.  
  
Billie countered with, "I just told you the connection. What matters is taking Roberts down...now."  
  
  
  
Quietly Perish pressed, "There something you aren't telling me. What happened at the club?"  
  
"I'm not holding out on you," she answered even as she knew that it was Deaq that was holding out on her. Like Perish, she sensed more had gone down at the club than Deaq had said. And maybe Deaq had told her all he knew and Van alone could tell the whole story...if he lived. Pushing that thought aside she focused again on Perish, "You know what I know."  
  
"Let's keep it that way," Perish ordered and then a softening entered his eyes. "I know it's real hard not to make things personal but remember "Officer" Ray knows the risks of this job, that any undercover assignment could cost him his life."  
  
Instead of soothing Billie this spark anger in her. "What are you saying?! That I'm suppose to accept the fact that some bastard plunged an ice pick in Van's back as...what... hazards of the job?!"  
  
Choosing not to respond to that taunt, Perish sighed. "We had this conversation before you got the Candy Store about distancing yourself from those that work for you."  
  
The change in topic caught Billie off guard and she defended, "I did...I do."  
  
"Billie," Perish said with disbelief at her words.  
  
Recognizing that Perish could see through her lie, Billie opted for the truth, her voice turning soft. "You don't know what it's like for them...being under 24 - seven. They need me to be more than a boss to them."  
  
Without reprimand, Perish contradicted, "We aren't discussing what they need. We are discussing protocol."  
  
"Protocol? Same thing as politics," Billie retorted bitterly. "And politics is what's keeping Roberts safe."  
  
"Van and Deaq are your subordinates."  
  
Suddenly Billie stood up and her voice cracked with emotion. "Well, they are also family and I won't stand by and let Roberts hurt Van...almost kill him. So don't ask me to."  
  
For a beat the captain's and the lieutenant's eyes met in silence. Then Perish relaxed back in the chair, "The Feds won't be happy if you mess with their operation."  
  
A fleeting smile crossed Billie's face. "Too bad for them," she said and she headed for the door.  
  
"Billie," Perish called and Billie turned around to face her boss and friend, "don't underestimate Roberts."  
  
*******************************************  
  
Billie buzzed Club 9's back door. After a moment a man built like a natural born bouncer opened the door, eyed her up for a second before he growled, "Club's closed," and attempted to slam the door in her face. With cat like grace, Billie snuck in the closing gap and slammed her elbow into the bouncer's face. He fell to the ground, out cold. Pulling her gun, Billie stepped over the downed man and entered the club.  
  
She had never been in Club 9 before but she didn't have to worry about finding the office. Only a few lights still burned now and it was like a bread crumb trail leading her to her objective. Quietly crossing the dance floor her jaw clenched as she saw the mirrors that lined the wall...the mirrors that Van had been behind earlier that night helplessly watching as three men targeted Deaq. 'Stay cold, stay cold,' Billie reprimanded herself, knowing that Roberts fed on emotions.  
  
Coming to the closed door marked "office", Billie took a steadying breath then she calmly opened the door and stepped into the office. Her appearance startled the three men occupying the room but her eyes and her gun sight never left the man behind the desk.  
  
Roberts' two men reached for their guns even as Roberts calmly eyed up his guest but Billie's words halted Roberts' thugs.  
  
With a sweet voice she encouraged, "Please pull your guns cause I'm begging for a reason to blow a hole in your boss's head," her eyes never wavering from Roberts's.  
  
A smirk pulled onto Cade Roberts' face and he looked to his two men. "Take a walk," and he nodded at the door.  
  
Obediently Roberts' dogs dropped their hands from their guns and walked by Billie and out the door.  
  
Cade resettled his look to Billie and gave her a full smile, "Welcome to Club 9 Lieutenant Wilhelmina "Billie" Chambers. I guess Van's still breathing or else you wouldn't be on such good behavior."  
  
With those words, Billie's eyes hardened to cut glass. Crossing the room to Robert's desk, she put the gun against Roberts' chest and cocked the hammer. Leaning over the desk she met his eyes unflinchingly and purred with deadliness, "How 'bout we see how far you get with a bullet lodged in your chest."  
  
But no fear entered Roberts' eyes, instead he gave a short laugh. "That seems a little more unsportsmanlike than the ice pick I shoved in Van's back but you cops always play dirty," unmasking his pleasure at hurting Van.  
  
With fury Billie slammed the gun barrel across Roberts' cheek and watched in satisfaction as blood seeped from a cut on his face. Pulling back, her eyes met the suddenly unsmiling eyes of Cade Roberts. "You'll be seeing a lot of me because I'm not gonna stop being your shadow until I get what I want."  
  
A veil pulled again on Roberts' features and he calmly pulled the handkerchief from his suit breast pocket and wiped at the blood running down his face. "And what is it that you want?" he asked with little interest.  
  
A smile pulled onto Billie's face. "You wishing to God that you never laid a hand on Van." And then she turned around and began to walk away.  
  
Roberts conversationally called out to her. "Van will dissuade you from taking this path, Billie. Listen to him if you want to live." But Billie gave no indication she heard his words as she walked from Club 9.  
  
Two hours passed and Billie had yet to return, leaving Deaq alone with his worry for his partner. When a nurse approached him and told him what room Van was in, Deaq quickly negotiated the hallways but as he drew closer to Van's room his steps began to falter. The truth was, Van was not out of danger, he could still lose his partner.  
  
Steeling himself against that fear, Deaq pushed open the door to Van's room. His heart seemed to thud to a stop as he saw Van lying pale and motionless upon the bed. Forcing weak legs into motion, Deaq crossed to Van. Looking down at his partner's pale face, Deaq felt fear ripple through him. How many times in how many ways had he tried to keep Van from getting behind his barriers? How many insults had Van let slide off his back? And how many times could he tell Van that they were not friends. 'Too bad I didn't convince myself we weren't friends,' Deaq silently reprimanded himself.  
  
With a voice rough from disuse and emotion, Deaq softly entreated, "Hey, Van. I'm here for you partner. And I'm not gonna leave you...so you don't leave me, OK. We got ourselves a deal?"  
  
There was no reaction from Van and that silence alone tore through Deaq. Silent was one thing Van Ray hardly ever was. Even that time they were trapped under Dallas's bed, Van couldn't remain silent...even if that silence was broken by typed words.   
  
But Deaq quickly pushed away the thought of Dallas, of Dallas dying in his arms. No, Van wasn't gonna die, he was gonna live. He had too much fight in him. Deaq knew this even if Van doubted it. "You got enough fight in you for the both of us, Van. Someone knocks you down, you come up swinging. Every single time. I know you, partner. You don't know how to quit. And you're not quitting now, you hear."  
  
Deaq snagged onto a chair, pulled it beside Van's bed and sank into it. He left the silence reign in the room, grateful for the reassuring rise and fall of Van's chest.  
  
***********************  
  
An hour later, the door to Van's room opened and Billie slowly walked into the room. Deaq looked up at his boss and watched Billie's face cloud with fear and tenderness alike as her look settled on Van. "How's he doing?" she asked quietly.  
  
"He's fighting like he's suppose to." Deaq answered, shooting a look to Van's pale face before he rose to stand beside Billie. Softly he drew her attention to him, "Roberts in custody?"  
  
Billie shook her head. "No. The Feds are involved."  
  
"Feds? How high up on the food chain is this Roberts guy?" Deaq countered in surprise and frustration.  
  
"High. The best I could do was rattle Roberts's cage," Billie said as her eyes drifted again to Van's motionless body. How she had wanted to pull that trigger when her gun had rested on Roberts chest. If Van dies...  
  
But Deaq broke her out of those morbid thoughts by grabbing her arms and forcing her to refocus on him. "'Rattle his cage', what are you talking about? What did you do?"  
  
"I paid him a little visit and told him of things to come," she replied, her eyes hard with the memory.  
  
Deaq sighed, "In other words, you threatened him."  
  
Billie pulled from Deaq's grasp, "I'm going to take him out, Deaq. No matter what."  
  
"And I'm down with that but we gotta do it smart. This Roberts ain't no slouch if the Feds are after him," Deaq cautioned.  
  
"I agree," and her eyes bore into Deaq's. "And that's why you need to tell me "everything" that went down between Van and Roberts."  
  
TBC  
  
Sorry about the long wait for this chapter!! I hope to have the next chapter out early this week. And yes, Van will wake up and we'll learn the history he has with Roberts...well at least some of it will be revealed next chapter.  
  
Thanks for reading!!  
  
Replies to Reviews:  
  
DKM: I wrote something "riveting"?!?! You are the best for thinking that! Sorry this chapter took so long but I'm trying hard to not drop the ball on the plot and the characterizations and I had to do some homework (you know, watch some of the episodes - and what hard work it was) Thanks for sticking with this story!!  
  
ZoZe: I'm blushing with your compliments! And a sick part of me loves that I made you cry?!? Hope I don't disappointment you as the chapters keep coming! Please keep telling me what you think!  
  
Leann: I know, I still didn't get Van outta danger of dying but it is fun to "pull the team together" as you said. So glad you liked it and reviewed it and I'd love to hear what you think as the story continues.  
  
Fan4fastln: Yup, I'm evil!! And I'm sorry that I left you hanging for an extra week but I wanted to be satisfied with the chapter and I just wasn't for awhile but after rewatching some episodes, I think I got things back on track. Hopefully I can get back to posting once a week again. Thanks for sticking with me and for liking last chapter!  
  
Hazelnut: Thanks for your review and I appreciate your input about Billie and it gave me my idea for this chapter so thanks so much!! Hope I didn't play her too cold still or too mushy. I try really hard to get the characterizations just right and if I'm off, I wanna know about it.   
  
Lynne: That was so nice of you to read my Houston Knights story?!?! And I'm glad I didn't screw up on my presentation of Lundy. And thank you so much for thinking I'm a 'great storyteller'. But now I feel real pressure to get this Fastlane story done right. Please continue to tell me what you think of this story!  
  
Silent Typewriter: Sorry this update took so long and for sure you thought I was abandoning it but fear not, I'm still here and I've got the basic plot in my head so it's just a matter of putting it into words. This story will get finished!! And next chapter we will see Van coming around and getting involved with the action. Hope this chapter didn't bore you?!  
  
Meike: I know..I know. This chapter was a long way in coming and I had the nerve to not even have Van wake up?!?! I am beyond cruel?!?! But I felt this chapter had to happen to set things up and well, I didn't want Van to do one of those "I-was-near-death-a-minute-ago-but-now-I'm-duking-it-out-with-the-bad-guys" like Matt Houston (a tv show about a private eye) use to do and I use to groan about. Hope you stick around for the next chapter cause it definitely has a waking and talking Van in it.  
  
Bladdering: Alright..I apologize for making chapter 3's cliffy stay around way too long! But I promise this story will get somewhere..it just takes me time to advance the plot sometimes. Thanks for liking the story and I hope you liked this chapter that focused more on Billie (thanks to your suggestions-boy that was helpful to me when I was kinda having writer's block!) And I'm glad you like suspense because as you can tell, I can't get enough of that.  
  
Electricgurl: Thanks for your review and "loving" my story. And I promise there will be more Van in the next chapter so please keep reading.  
  
Valentine Blue: I'm flattered that my story's got you on the edge of your seat. I hope I can keep up that momentum and not bore you, confuse you or disappoint you. Keep in touch! 


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to Reviews are at the bottom of this chapter  
  
*******************************  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
*******************************************  
  
The first sensation that Van registered was pain. The kind of pain that made you swear to never do again whatever you did to be in this much pain. But as his mind recalled what had occurred to prompt his pain, dread washed over him as the truth became clear: He wasn't dead.   
  
For all the times he had cheated death this seemed to be the grim reaper's revenge. Life when all he wanted was the escape of death. It seemed that fate was as much of an SOB as Cade Roberts.   
  
Before he could fully conquer the pain searing through his every cell, raised voices made their way into his brain.   
  
"You must leave. Visiting hours resume in the morning," an irritated female voice demanded.  
  
"And I'm telling you, I'm not leaving," came back an unrelenting voice...a voice Van knew: Deaq's.  
  
"This hospital runs on rules..." the woman countered but Deaq cut her off.  
  
"Yeah, and I got my own rule about not leaving my partner when he needs me."  
  
"I can call security," the woman challenged.  
  
"Do that but I hope they bring enough firepower to start Armageddon," Deaq sallied back. Then Van heard the whish of a door opening and closing. A moment later, he heard a worried sigh fill the room.  
  
For the first time, Van decided to make the effort to crawl to full consciousness and steeled himself to face the consequences that awaited him. When he managed to open his eyes he began to blink hard, trying to get things to come into focus. The first thing he saw clearly was Deaq standing facing the door, his shoulders slumped in worry. Van wanted to call out Deaq's name but he couldn't find the strength to even form that one word.  
  
As if sensing his friend's consciousness, Deaq spun around and a smile broke onto his face as his eyes met Van's. Crossing to the bedside he looked down to   
  
Van's pale face, "Welcome back to the real world, partner."  
  
Van began to try to sit up but immediately Deaq's hand fell to his shoulder and held Van fast to the bed. "Stay still, Van," Deaq cautioned but it was hardly necessary as agony swept across Van, making him lie limply back against the mattress, his eyes clamped shut against the pain. "You're gonna be alright, man."  
  
'He thinks that's the good news,' ran through Van's head a moment before he reopened his eyes and met Deaq's worried gaze. He needed to know how things stood. "Deaq.." he began but it only came out a weak croak.  
  
"Hold up," Deaq cut in and he brought a cup with a straw over to Van. Slipping his one hand behind Van's neck, Deaq eased Van forward enough to take a drink of the water he held. Sensing Van had had his fill, Deaq eased Van again to the bed and set the cup on the table.   
  
Now Van swallowed hard and asked the question that burned within him, "How'd Billie take the news about me flipping?" his words breathless and weak but Deaq could clearly hear Van's desperation for the truth.  
  
But Deaq side stepped his partner's question. "You did not flip, Van. You saved my life!"   
  
"Deaq?" Van pressed for the answer he sought.  
  
Deaq looked away for a moment then met Van's eyes steadily. "I didn't tell her about it." At Van's surprised and opposing look, Deaq continued, "This is between you and me, Van. She ain't got a say in it." And Deaq vividly remembered how hard Billie had pressed him for the full story about what went down at the club but Deaq had refused to give it up. Some things stayed between partners...forever.  
  
Van tried again to sit up but again Deaq pressed him back, "Deaq, I blew our case!" Van objected, his breathing labored, "I compromised our cover .." he drew in another pained breath, " ....and the whole Candy Store operation!"  
  
"Easy, Van," Deaq soothed gently, "You didn't compromise a thing. Like you said, Roberts already knew about you and me being cops and about the Candy Store. As far as this case, our objective was to take down Martel..." here Deaq's words faded but Van knew what his partner was leaving unsaid.  
  
"Colin Martel's missing," Van stated more than questioned but Deaq nodded his head anyway. Van shut his eyes tightly. Some things never changed. Dealings with Roberts always came down to a body count. The trick was to not let you or yours be among the number.  
  
"Cade Roberts is going down, Van. That I promise you." Deaq's hard words brought Van's eyes snapping open and searing into his partner.   
  
"Drop it, Deaq," Van said with a cold finality Deaq had never heard before from his partner.  
  
Stunned by Van's request, Deaq incredulously repeated, "Drop it?! Van, the man tried to kill you!"  
  
"Well, he didn't. I'm OK," Van assured but Deaq's protest was hard on the heels of his words.  
  
"OK?!" Deaq exclaimed with disbelief before he pointed to the heart monitor to the left of Van's bed, "See that machine, Van, that's here 'cause they were afraid your heart would stop!" He tapped the pole that held the IV bag, "This here's giving you morphine so you're not writhing in pain. And let's not forget the internal bleeding you had, the two days you've been unconscious and the blood transfusion they gave you to replace all that blood you lost in the seat of the Ferrari."  
  
Van's eyes had never wavered from his partner's during Deaq's whole tirade. Silence held in the room a moment before Van conversationally questioned, "So, is Billie gonna have to reupholster the Ferrari?"  
  
"Damn you, Van!" Deaq exploded, his ragged emotions finally at their end. "You almost died! Don't treat this like some joke!"  
  
Van's eyes turned cold at those words and he countered lowly, "Nothing's funny with Roberts. That's why I'm walking away. Why "we" are walking away."  
  
Deaq couldn't grasp what was going through Van's head. "Walking away?! He's gonna come after you when he learns you survived?!"   
  
"He won't come after me," Van denied, his voice quiet and listless even as the light in his eyes seemed to fade.  
  
Trying to get through to his partner, Deaq quietly but firmly stated, "Van, he tried to kill you and failed."  
  
But Van shook his head and a sad smile tipped up his lips, "If Cade cared whether I lived or died he woulda finished the job in the club."  
  
"You can pin him with attempted murder on a cop, Van?!" Deaq argued.  
  
Van's eyes steadily met Deaq's and he softly declared with finality, "But I won't." A pause. "And Cade knows that."  
  
Stunned, Deaq tried to form words, tried to decipher Van's motives for a moment. When he finally opened his mouth it wasn't his voice that broke the silence but Billie's.  
  
"What hold does Roberts have over you, Van?" Billie gently questioned, and both men's eyes swung to the doorway as she entered and crossed over to Van's bedside. Looking down at her pale officer, Billie's eyes softened and she smiled, "You don't know how good it is to hear you talking, Van."  
  
A forced smirk flitted across Van's face but Billie's initial question creased his brow with worry.   
  
Sensing that Van would not answer her question without strong pressure, Billie sat beside Van on the bed and studied him. She easily detected the pain in his features and the pallor of his skin. Now was not the time for a full inquisition. Then, for one of the few times when dealing with Van or Deaq, she let her voice turn tender, "How about you get some more rest. We'll talk later."  
  
Van's eyes searched hers and he knew that this was only a small reprieve. Billie would press him for the full story relentlessly once some of her worry for him diminished. Deciding that he'd take whatever opportunity he could to delay that conversation, he nodded. "Yeah, alright, I'll rest."  
  
Deaq scowled at Van's easy capitulation, not only did it prove to Deaq how very hurt Van was but it also spoke volumes on how resistant Van was to talking things through. 'So much for hoping to finally get a good, worry free night's sleep tonight' he told himself, already feeling his worry for Van spike in a new direction.  
  
Billie's smile did not fade as she stood up and walked for the door. Turning to Van, Deaq said, "I'm sticking around, Van, but I gotta talk to Billie. I'll be back in a few."  
  
But Van replied, his pain and exhaustion increasingly evident in his voice and the look on his face, "Go home, Deaq. I'm O.K."  
  
"Don't start with that "I'm Ok" thing again," Deaq warned. "And I said I'll be hanging around so get some sleep, man." And before Van could offer up further protests, Deaq walked out of the room.  
  
  
  
Coming out of Van's room, Deaq came face to face with Billie.  
  
"He's not talking so you better," she demanded, the tenderness that she had leveled at Van turning into steely resolve. "Roberts has a hold on him and I think you know what it is."  
  
"Billie we've been over this..." Deaq began but Billie cut him off ruthlessly.  
  
"Yeah, and now I want the full story." Then Billie grabbed Deaq by the arm and guided him down the hallway and out a side door onto a patio. Stepping up to be toe to toe with Deaq she ordered, "Start talking."  
  
"I told you what I know." Deaq met Billie's eyes unflinchingly, determined to protect Van at all costs, even from Billie's good intentions.  
  
But Billie knew Deaq well enough to know when he was holding out on her. "Let's recap what you told me. Roberts knew Van when he was a kid. And Roberts pegged you and Van as cops. So Roberts takes Van into his office, threatens to have you killed if you and Van don't leave pronto and then Roberts shoves an ice pick into Van's back. Am I missing anything?"  
  
Deaq shook his head, "No, you got things straight."  
  
"Do I?" she challenged with a tone that could cut glass. "Why didn't Roberts kill you both? Why didn't he rat you out to Martel? Why'd he take Van on the field trip and threaten you?"  
  
"I don't know, Billie! Ask Roberts not me!" Deaq shouted back.  
  
For a moment or two Billie silently looked at Deaq before she nodded her head. She was beginning to understand and she surmised without condemnation, "Roberts used you against Van, didn't he? What did Van have to do to save your life?"  
  
Panic tore through Deaq at Billie's words. He needed to deflect Billie's line of questioning before she knew the truth. "He got me outta the club, that's how he saved my life. We walked away." His own words caught him hard. Walking away from Roberts was what Van wanted to do now...it was still Van's final solution.  
  
"Deaq, I'm not out to hurt Van. Whatever went down we'll weather the storm, together..all three of us. But what I'm looking for are ways to keep Van safe and I can't do that effectively if I don't know what happened at the club."  
  
But Deaq turned his back on Billie and took a few steps away. "Van's my partner, Billie. I'm gonna stand by him no matter what." Then he turned to face her, "It's his story to tell or not tell, not mine."  
  
"Deaq this isn't about loyalties, it's about Van's life."  
  
"I know that, Billie. But it still makes it his decision to let you in or not....to let me in or not. I don't know what his past is with Roberts and as you can tell, Van's not talking." An exhausted laugh broke from Deaq, "If you told me there'ld be a day I "wanted" Van Ray to talk, I wouldna believed you. Usually can't shut the man up and now ..." he broke off and his eyes darkened in worry.  
  
Billie finished his thought, "he's shutting us out."  
  
Deaq sighed, "I'm not trying to hold out on you, Billie but I'm not gonna betray Van's confidence. He wants to tell you, that's on him."  
  
For a moment Billie intensely studied Deaq before she put her hands up in defeat. "Alright. I don't like it but I respect your loyalty. I'll just have to work on the information I do know.... for now."   
  
"We any closer to getting Roberts in at least for questioning?" Deaq changed gears.  
  
Anger set into Billie's features at the question, "No. The Feds are completely blocking any requests I make to bring in Roberts. But if they haven't been able to make a case against Roberts, we're going to have to think outside the box to bring him down."  
  
Deaq smiled but no humor reached his eyes, "That ain't gonna be a problem. We live outside the box."  
  
Billie offered a small smile. "Why don't you go home and get some rest. I can stay here with Van."  
  
"No, I'm good. You spotted me for a few hours today and I slept. I'm Ok for the night."  
  
"You think Roberts will make a move against Van?"  
  
Deaq remembered Van's words, the conviction in them. "Actually, after talking to Van, I don't think he will. If he wanted Van dead, all he had to do was move the ice pick an inch higher. Man like Roberts doesn't make those kind of mistakes."  
  
"No he doesn't." Billie agreed, hatred brimming in her eyes as she remembered the cool way Roberts had looked, the casual tone he had used when he surmised that Van was still alive. "Bastard didn't really care if Van lived or died."  
  
"Why does that piss me off even more?!" Deaq angrily questioned.   
  
"Hurting Van was personal to Roberts. It wasn't about protecting his interest or finishing a contract job...it was about pleasure."  
  
"You got a strong vibe off of Roberts after one meet, huh?"  
  
"He didn't even bother trying to conceal his pleasure at hurting Van."  
  
"We may disagree about some things, Billie, but I know we agree on this: Cade Roberts is ending up in either a cage or a casket."  
  
"True that," Billie slanged back but her eyes held not a hint of warmth as she thought of Cade Roberts.  
  
  
  
  
  
Having stopped at the nurses station and alerted them to Van's return to consciousness, Deaq patiently waited until the doctor left before he reentered the room only to find Van fast asleep. But that sight eased some of Deaq's tension. The doctor was pleased with Van's progress and having Van wake up and talk was a blessing to Deaq. Van's silence the previous day had become unbearable and many a time Deaq had wanted to walk away but he couldn't. He had sworn not to leave Van and though he knew that didn't mean he had to be there every second, he feared that something would happen in his absence. That Van would need him and he wouldn't be there.  
  
Even now that Van was doing better, those protective instincts hadn't diminished. He had known Van for a year and for all they had been through, good and bad, Deaq had never been shut out by Van. Not like now. Even the most personal things, things Deaq cringed to hear, Van talked about. In fact the only thing Van hardly ever talked about was his dad. Suddenly a correlation sprang to Deaq's mind. It wasn't much of a stretch to guess Van knew Roberts through Ray Ray.   
  
Sinking back into the chair that had been his home for two days, Deaq softly mumbled as he watched his partner sleep, "I'm beginning to understand why you hate being Raymond Ray's son."  
  
  
  
The minute he awake the next day, Van was ushered from one test to another, from one doctor, to one another but in truth, he didn't mind. It ensured him that neither Billie nor Deaq could press him about Roberts. And when he finally was deposited back into his room, having received good reports from all the tests, it was late afternoon.   
  
To his relief, his room was empty of his constant visitor. Deaq had finally lost patience in waiting around for him to be returned to his room and he apparently hadn't even called in Billie to take his place at Van's side.   
  
The nurse had barely stepped out of the room before Van pulled out his IV. It was time to get outta Dodge...before Deaq came back or Billie showed up and began the inquisition in earnest. No, he was leaving now and he was going to go...hell, he didn't know where he would go but it sure wasn't gonna be someplace he could be found.  
  
Pushing back the covers, Van attempted to sit up but his body mercilessly spiked pain through his every cell. Falling back onto the bed with a moan, Van closed his eyes and tried to breath through the agony. It felt like Roberts pick was again lodged into his back.   
  
"Pros play hurt," he wheezed, opened his eyes and this time slowly and carefully rolled to his side and, using his hand, pushed himself up into a sitting position. The world spun for a moment before it came into focus. Gathering his strength, he eased one foot and then the other onto the floor then levered himself off the bed and stood on weak legs but the point was he was standing, never mind the pain that it generated from his back.   
  
Taking a deep breath he began the short but arduous trek to the closet and pulled out the shopping bag of clothing he had bribed the candy stripper to buy him. Crossing again to the bed, he sat down, pulled out the jeans and shirt and began the slow painful process of getting dressed, praying that he could make good on his escape.  
  
Deaq scowled as he walked down the hallway back to Van's room. Billie's news had been all bad. She had been, not too politely, warned off the case by the Feds, had been denied warrants by every judge she knew and to top things off, the Feds wanted to talk to Van.  
  
But as he came within a few feet of Van's room, Deaq plastered on his 'everything's fine in my world' look and strolled into the room. He sighed at the sight of the empty room. How many tests could they run on a man?! Heading for his customary chair he came up short as he looked at the unmade bed. His hand shot out and picked up the hospital gown that lay discarded on the bed and then he saw the shopping bag. "Jail break," he cursed, and still clutching the gown headed to the nurses station.  
  
"Van Ray went AWOL. Who saw him last?" he demanded of the two nurses who manned the station.  
  
"AWOL? What are you talking about?" the younger of the two nurses questioned.  
  
But the other nurse didn't need a translation. "But I just put him back in his room not more than five minutes ago!"  
  
With that knowledge, Deaq dropped the gown on the counter and ran for the elevator. Van could not have gotten far, injured as he was. The doors were closing as Deaq slid into the elevator and joined the only other occupant: Van.  
  
Both men were startled to be facing one another. Moments prior, Van had been so relieved that he had been able to duck into the elevator before Deaq spotted him but then the darn doors wouldn't close right away. Apparently luck was against him.  
  
"What do you think you're doing, Van?!" Deaq railed while the doors closed and the elevator began it's descent. Instinctively Deaq stepped forward intending to lend his support to his bone white faced partner who leaned heavily against the elevator walls. But Van held up his hand, warding off Deaq's touch.   
  
"I got this," Van insisted, refusing Deaq's assistance.  
  
"You got this?!" Deaq repeated incredulously. "Van you look like Casper the friendly ghost...except whiter. You are going back to that bed." Deaq insisted with a tone that brooked no arguments, stepped over to the control panel, reaching for the third floor button where Van's room was located.   
  
Van stepped forward to block Deaq's action but his body was not up for that kind of quick motion. Suddenly he felt like the elevator was doing rolls and his legs began to drop him to the floor.   
  
Unprepared for Van to start to crumble to the ground, Deaq barely reacted in time to keep Van off the floor. Catching Van in his grasp, Deaq unintentionally touched the wound on Van's back, eliciting a cry of pain from Van and further sapping the man's strength.  
  
Desperately trying to stay on his feet, Van clutched onto Deaq's coat lapels to anchor himself and urged with pain filled breathes, "Stop helping me, Deaq."  
  
"Sorry, Van," Deaq apologized. "I'll get you back to your room," and he began again to reach for the third floor button but Van caught his wrist and their eye met.  
  
"I'm leaving Deaq," Van stated resolutely as he released his grip on Deaq and stood up straight with his own regained strength.   
  
Deaq dropped his supportive hold on Van but quietly demanded, "Leaving what, Van? The hospital? The Candy Store Operation? LA?"  
  
Van was unprepared for Deaq's perceptiveness and he didn't school his reaction as he would have wanted.   
  
Deaq read him like a book and before Van could respond he quietly answered for him, "All you know is you're leaving. You don't even know where to go."  
  
Unable to gather the strength for a denial, Van pleaded for understanding, "I can't stay here, Deaq."  
  
Seeing the need in Van's eyes, Deaq swore as his resolve crumbled. "Billie will kill us both for this."  
  
A smile pulled onto Van's face, "Tell her you never saw me leave."  
  
"Saw you leave?!" Deaq echoed, "You're confused about this furlough, player. You're leaving with me, not without me."  
  
"Deaq, I gotta go it alone," Van protested as the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened to the ground level.  
  
But Deaq gave him a smile back, "That's too bad, Van, cause we're doing like the Olsen twins. You can't see one without the other." Stepping from the elevator, he turned to face Van questioningly.  
  
Indecision warred with Van but he knew in truth he had two options now that Deaq had caught him: go back to the bed or go along with Deaq. It was like choosing the lesser of two evils. The elevator's doors started to close and he had yet to make a move. At the last second he shot his hand out between the doors, the doors retracted and he stepped from the elevator.  
  
"Don't suppose I could drive?" he hazarded.  
  
But Deaq shook his head, "Not a chance, man." And then they began to walk for the door but at a much slower pace than either man usually adopted.  
  
"Don't do that," Van lowly demanded, as he looked to Deaq as they crossed toward the door.  
  
"Do what?" Deaq countered, keeping even with Van's slow painful walk.  
  
"Hover," Van clarified.  
  
Deaq shrugged, "You want to get a close up look at this floor like you almost did in the elevator, that's on you." He paused and then added in contemplation "Course, if you go down, I'll look like a fool and that ain't happening."  
  
Quiet filled the '65 Mustang and Deaq was reminded of the ride he had shared with Van coming from Club 9.  
  
"You alright over there, partner?" his tone concerned but the next words came out more harshly than he intended. "You're not bleeding all over the interior or anything," and he shot a quick glance to Van who was leaning heavily back on the seat, looking out the side window.  
  
Without pulling his gaze from the view outside the car, Van conversationally replied, "So I take it you're pissed?"  
  
Instead of answering, Deaq fired off another question, "Why didn't you tell me Roberts hurt you?!" Seeing the tightness in Van's jaw line, Deaq knew an explanation would not be forthcoming. He determinedly pressed harder, "You asked me to drop you off home, if I had done that you woulda died, Van!?!" This still did not draw Van's attention from the window. Dividing his look between the road and his partner, Deaq surmised quietly, "'Course maybe that's what you wanted...to check out."  
  
But Van did not offer up a denial as Deaq had hoped. Instead he softly stated as if it was an explanation. "You don't know Cade Roberts."  
  
"True that...but I thought I knew you."  
  
Van met Deaq's eyes for the first time since they got in the Mustang. "Well, you don't," he countered softly before he resumed his fascination with the outside world.  
  
Deaq pulled into the Candy Store, still turning a deaf ear to Van's objections to this destination. Cutting the engine, Deaq turned to Van and plastered on a goading smile. "Here we are, home sweet home." Then he climbed from the Mustang, but unlike the last time, he did not walk away but made his way over to Van's door.  
  
He had just opened the door when Billie's incredulous voice echoed through the Candy Store, "What is Van doing out of the hospital?!". Her eyes bore into Deaq as she left her office and crossed over to the car.  
  
"He went AWOL," Deaq explained.  
  
"And you decided to be his driver?!" she fired back.  
  
"Hey, why are you yelling at me?! Van's the fool who bounced from the hospital!"  
  
Billie took a step closer to Deaq as her voice raised, "You let him do it."  
  
"Just stop!" Van interrupted from his position in the car. "This is too reminiscent of my childhood." Undoing the seat belt, he began to maneuver from the car. He looked up as Deaq offered him a hand. After a moment he took his partner's hand and was helped from the Mustang.  
  
Once Deaq was certain Van could remain standing on his own, Deaq dropped his grip on Van. Van stood before Billie and met his boss's assessing look unflinchingly.  
  
"You ready to tell us about Roberts?" Billie softly asked.  
  
A fleeting smirk crossed Van's face but his eyes told the truth. "Nope." Then he sighed, "But I owe you that much."  
  
"Yeah, you do." Billie wrapped her arm carefully around Van and led him to the couch and helped him settle into the cushions before she claimed the chair facing him. Deaq sank into the couch beside Van but turned to face his partner.  
  
A silence fell onto the threesome. Van leaned back against the cushions and looked down at his hands for a moment before he met Billie's open stare. He knew that he couldn't speak about the past until he confessed his present sins. "I told Cade Roberts that we were gonna use counterfeit chips to trip up Martel. I told him about Martel's brother ratting."  
  
To Van's relief, Billie's reaction was neither one of disgust or outrage. Deaq, however, gave a groan of disagreement. He had given all that effort to protect Van and the man blows it by being Mr. Confession.  
  
Turning to Deaq, Van tapped Deaq's leg, "I know you had my back on this Deaq but I gotta pay for my own decisions."  
  
"You did it to save me," Deaq defended then turned hard eyes to Billie. "He did it to save me. I'ld be in a body bag if he hadn't told Roberts what he wanted to hear."  
  
"I know," Billie steadily replied as she nodded her head. Meeting Van's worried eyes she reassured firmly, "This stays between us. Understand."  
  
"Billie I flipped?!" Van protested.  
  
But Billie firmed refuted, "No, you saved your partner's life. 'Sides Roberts already knew enough of the score to guess the outcome even if you had stood silent." It was a moment before Van accepted her decision. "Now let's concentrate on bringing Roberts down." She held Van's eyes, and he knew the burden of that task depended on his willingness to open up.  
  
Suddenly Van felt like he was going to be sick as his eyes flickered between Billie and Deaq. He talked about almost everything but he had never talked about Cade Roberts...ever.   
  
Sensing Van's unease, Deaq encouraged, "Whatever you tell us stays here."  
  
Hampered by his injury, Van could not leap from the couch and pace as he usually did when he was nervous or amped up. Instead he was chained to the couch, pinned by the look of two people who thought they knew him best. It killed him to destroy their illusion of him.  
  
Sharing a worried look with Deaq, Billie refocused on Van. "I can see this is personal for you, Van, and we would back off but we care too damn much about you."  
  
This earned her Van's startled attention and seeing the truth in her eyes, he nodded and began quietly to speak. "I worked for Cade Roberts," he confessed, deciding not to sugar coat anything. When condemnation did not seep into Deaq or Billie's look, he continued. "When I was sixteen Ray Ray took on a job for Roberts and asked for some front money. And Ray Ray would tell you it was gonna be the best paper he ever made," a smirk pulled up Van's lips before it faded away to a tight line, "but he never got the job done. He got pinched two days after he brokered the deal with Roberts."   
  
Here Van's look dropped to his hands and he missed the shared look between his boss and partner. They were beginning to see where this was leading and it made their stomachs clench.   
  
"Roberts came to me looking for his front money or the bills. I had neither. Ray Ray had used every cent of the front money to roll an upgrade for his operation and all those new counterfeiting machines were in some evidence room downtown." Van forced himself to meet Billie's eyes. "Roberts told me I had a week to gather the front money ....or he'd kill my parents."  
  
Deaq surged from the couch with a curse and began to pace. But Billie's eyes turned black with anger. "How much was the front money?"  
  
"Fifty large."  
  
This caused Billie to close her eyes in anguish and hang her head and elicited an outcry from Deaq, "Fifty thousand dollars?! You were sixteen?! How the hell did he expect you to get that?!"  
  
Van's eyes met Deaq's. "He didn't. He gave me another "option.""  
  
Here Billie supplied "To work off your debts with him."  
  
Van nodded in agreement and ran his hand through his hair before he leaned forward, his head down. "I couldn't run...even if my mother and I took off...my father was easy prey in jail. And I couldn't pay."  
  
"Roberts left you no out. You had to try and work off your debt...Ray Ray's debt," Deaq said quietly, feeling strongly for Van's untenable situation.  
  
Van again answered with a nod.   
  
"But Fifty Thousand is a lot to work off.." Billie began trying not to pressure Van but needing to know the whole picture.  
  
"How'd I ever work it off?" Van interpreted Billie's unasked question. "I didn't. Teddy McNar found out how Roberts had me creased...and he paid off the debt."  
  
At the mention of Ray Ray's usual partner, Deaq questioned, "McNar wasn't in the deal with Ray Ray and Roberts?"  
  
"No. When my father mentioned Cade Roberts, McNar, for the first time in their partnership, walked. He wasn't foolish enough to do business with Roberts or the mob."  
  
The picture was almost clear for Billie but still some things didn't mesh. "So Roberts got his money, then why's he'd try to kill you in his club."  
  
"Roberts didn't want my debt to get paid. Ever. See, a mob guy had pulled Cade off the street when he was a kid and mentored him. And Cade had wanted to return the favor by mentoring someone else."  
  
"You," Billie surmised.  
  
"Me and Boyd Keyes, a kid he pulled out of a street gang," but Van's voice had dropped when he spoke of Boyd and Billie knew there was a story to tell there. A story she didn't need to know...at least not now.  
  
"So he's pissed 'cause you bounced 'stead of playing Karate Kid to his Mr. Miyagi?" Deaq questioned, sensing there was more to Roberts' animosity than what Van was implying.  
  
Van's jaw tightened, "We didn't part on good terms. McNar handed him the money but he didn't accept it, said I had to work off the debt myself. So McNar went to Roberts' boss, a member of the mob that I never even heard of, and cut a deal. He'd make some paper for them in exchange for my release from Roberts employ."  
  
Deaq snorted. "Oh, yeah, that went over well with Roberts."  
  
"But Cade had no choice and I walked and never looked back."  
  
"Till you stepped into Club 9 three days ago," Billie said, bringing the tale full circle. "Seems he's still holding a grudge."  
  
"Yeah," Deaq agreed with anger in his voice.  
  
Van remained silent.  
  
"Well, now I'm the one holding the grudge," Billie growled. "With your statement we can bring him down, Van."  
  
"No," Van resolutely answered. "He let me walk away this time and I'm walking."  
  
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TBC  
  
Whew! I know that was long but I hope it didn't bore you? I get a little carried away writing conversations but these character had a lot to work through to get the plot where I needed it to be. Besides, I was afraid you'd all lynch me if I didn't reveal Roberts and Van's past in this chapter!?! Love to hear what you think of this update!!!!!  
  
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Replies to Reviews  
  
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DKM: I think you should take a chance and post at least the first chapter in your Witchblade story. Let your readers have their say. I was relieved that you liked the last chapter because I wasn't sure if I had Billie down or not. And yeah, I think I woulda shot Roberts if I had been in her shoes too. I hope this chapter answered some of your questions about Van and Roberts's past...but I hope it left you also wondering what Van wasn't saying. Thanks so much for reading this story and I hope you drop me a review after this chapter so I know how I'm doing with the story.  
  
Blabbering: I'm glad you like my little replies down here. I just really appreciate every person who takes the time to read and review this story..any of my stories, that the very least I can do is thank them. And I absolutely love getting to know people and it's a real treat hearing what they really think of the story and getting some advice when the story's missing something. So thank you so much for reviewing! You've made my day by that generous gesture!! Well, this chapter had Van galore...hope you liked?! So glad you liked my portrayal of Billie in the last chapter. I really need help writing her in character so if you see me going off line, please tow me in! Love to hear what you thought of this chapter?  
  
Fanfastln: So glad you liked last chapter! It was a hard one for me to write! I hope this chapter progressed the plot...I just kept writing and just couldn't break this long chapter up because I needed to know I gave you something to sink your teeth into. (I did, didn't I?) Loved to hear what you thought of this chapter!  
  
Leann: Hope I gave you enough info, at least for now, about Roberts and Van's past. I just kept writing and writing and writing and I knew I couldn't hold out that info from you for another chapter so that's why this chapter's sooooo long. Hope it wasn't boring?! Thank you so much for your compliments! I really fed on them!   
  
ZoZe: You can repeat yourself as much as you want when you say such wonderful things!! So is your curiosity somewhat satisfied or have I only mudded the water? The next chapter will be more action so I hope you were ok with this "talky" chapter. I'm a sucker for conversations.   
  
Silent Typewriter: No! Not rotten tomatoes!! I'm updating! I'm updating!! Sorry Billie didn't see much action this chapter..in fact, no one saw any action this chapter but things will heat up next chapters ...especially for Van. Love to hear what you think of this chapter!  
  
Hazelnut: I'm so pleased that you find my writing interesting. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm boring my readers to tears because I get a little obsessed with writing conversations as I did in this chapter. And I'm so amazed by your English!! It's my native language and I sometimes stink at expressing myself?!?! I'm hoping you liked the progress of the plot this chapter????  
  
Lynne: Glad I didn't disappoint you last chapter! And I agree about Billie seeming to have a short fuse...that was always fun to watch in the episodes because she tried to remain so cold and in control. I just thought, after losing his brother, Deaq would probably take Van's near death situation very seriously. Glad you liked my take on that. Loved to hear your comments on this chapter!  
  
Mfkngst: Thanks for your review! And I'm really cruel but I just came up with that ice pick in the back idea and I couldn't convince myself to write a less violent attack. Glad you liked my cruelty. As for the Van/Billie romance, sorry but that's just not going to happen in this particular story. But if you write it, I'll read it! They'd be a cool couple!   
  
Sirith: I'm blushing over your compliments!! Thanks!!! And I know ALL about that depression. I LOVED Fastlane..(but I think you already figured that out and I bet you could even guess my favorite character?!? I'm so easy to read.) While the show was airing I wrote a fic and wanted to post it to ffnet but they didn't have the category and even my plea to add the category didn't get a response. Then low and behold, the category appeared months after the show had been cancelled. I don't know who finally gave the OK for the category but I'm grateful!! Great shows should always remain alive at least in fanfiction!!!! I would really like to know your comments on this chapter!  
  
Thanks to everyone who read this chapter!!!!!   
  
Cheryl W. 


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to Reviews are at the bottom of this chapter  
  
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Chapter 6  
  
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"No," Van resolutely answered. "He let me walk away this time and I'm walking."  
  
Billie steadily met Van's eyes and quietly said, "That's what Roberts said you'd do...walk away."  
  
At her words, Van stiffened in alarm. "You went to see Roberts?!" Seeing no denial in her eyes, Van pushed himself from the couch with a wince of pain and walked over to the glass window and looked out at the Candy Store. Things were unraveling all over again. With anguish he questioned lowly, "Why? Why couldn't you let things alone?"  
  
Disbelief reflected on Billie's face as she watched the tense set of Van's back. "The man tried to kill you, Van! Did you think I was just going to let that go?!"  
  
"You should have," Van angrily replied.   
  
Billie surged to her feet and stalked over to Van. Gently but firmly she gripped Van's arms and swung him around to face her. "Van, you're a part of my team!"   
  
Harshly, Van cut in, throwing some of Billie's own words back at her, "You could have another pretty boy to take my place by the end of the day."   
  
Stunned at that tactic by Van, Billie's anger faded away. Her words had been a lie when she had originally said them and now they were even more blatantly untrue. "I lied," she confessed. "You and Deaq, you are the best." Then she took a step closer to Van and her voice turned soft, "But it goes deeper than that and you know it. You, me and Deaq, we're family. And I'm not going to stand by and let anyone hurt my family."  
  
Van grew even more desperate to make her understand. "You don't get it. You're playing right into Roberts' hands. Now he knows that you give a damn about me.. he'll use that against you..you've made yourself vulnerable."  
  
Now Deaq entered the fray, "He's got you twisted into thinking caring about someone's a liability. But he's dead wrong. You're not taking him on alone anymore, Van. We work together and the man will go down."  
  
But Van shook his head, "No! You're trippin' if you think Roberts is going down for attempted murder!"  
  
Billie had watched the partners in silence but now she spoke again. "Alright, then we work on some other angle." This earned her Van and Deaq's attention.  
  
"What angle?" Van questioned warily.  
  
"Club 9. There's got to be something illegal going on there that we can exploit. We keep the pressure on like I did last night and his operation will start to unravel. And we'll get the opening we need to take Roberts out."  
  
"What pressure, Billie?" Deaq questioned.   
  
A smirk pulled onto Billie's face as she relayed her actions the previous night.  
  
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LAST NIGHT  
  
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Pulling a squad car onto the curb and effectively blocking the entrance to Club 9, Billie, wearing her old patrolmen uniform, got out of the car and smiled at the long line of people waiting to enter the Club when it opened in ten minutes. "Sorry people but Club 9 is not open for business until further notice." Curses and groans met her words but the crowd began to disperse.  
  
Instantly the bouncer she had decked the night she visited Roberts stood in front of her, invading her personal space. "You can't do that! You need a judge order to shut us down!"  
  
But Billie smiled back, "I know but they don't know that," and she nodded to the disappearing crowd.  
  
Turning to the patrons, the bouncer called out, "We're not closed! We're opening in a few minutes!" but his words were ignored and soon the once lined sidewalk was empty.   
  
Casually Billie walked over to the squad car and sat on the hood of the car. "Tell your boss I want to talk to him."  
  
Furiously the bouncer turned to her, "You don't know the kinda of trouble you're bringing down on yourself, little girl."  
  
"I like trouble. Now go fetch your master, doggie."   
  
As she waited, Billie saw numerous cars slow down as if they were going to pull into the parking lot for the club but continued pass as they saw the cop car parked at the door, it's lights flashing. She gave some of the car's passengers a cute wave goodbye.  
  
When the doors of the club opened, Cade Roberts came strolling out wearing his trade mark smile. "Lieutenant, renting the whole club out for the night costs twenty thousand, hope you got that in your wallet."  
  
But Billie smirked and shook her head, "No, I don't. Guess you're taking a loss tonight. And I think you're going to be missing your latest alcohol shipment, seems the truck was over the load limit."  
  
Cade's smile became more forced, "You seem to think I'm soft since I left Van and your other boy walk out of my club alive. Let me assure you, I'm not. I take my business very seriously and I don't have losses."  
  
Billie slid off the car hood and stood toe to toe with Roberts. "Funny, I heard you just lost your business partner, Colin Martel. You want to tell me where you "lost" him?"  
  
"Some people can't handle the pressure of this business. Guess he bailed when he realized he was in over his head," an unspoken warning in his eyes.  
  
"Lucky for you I don't bail that easily," Billie countered. "I'm not walking away."  
  
Cade shook his head with inner humor, "You think you can touch me, that this little stunt makes me lose one moment's sleep?" Then he stepped even closer to her and whispered in her ear, "And if you think Van's going to press charges against me, you don't know the kid like I do." Stepping back he gave her a smile, "Come in for a drink anytime, lieutenant. After all, that's the only time you're going to see me behind a two way mirror." And then he turned his back on her and walked into the club.  
  
  
  
******************  
  
PRESENT  
  
******************  
  
  
  
"That got you nothing!!" Van shouted. "If you're "very" lucky Cade will let that go if you step off!"  
  
Now Billie's voice rose in anger, "I don't want him to let it go! And I'm not backing off."  
  
Frustration raged in Van. "You just don't get it! Roberts takes pleasure in killing people! And he doesn't give a damn if you're wearing a badge! He'll take you to the desert or the ocean to die and if you're really lucky he'll kill ya first 'stead of letting the thirst or the sharks do it for him."  
  
"So that was Martel's fate?" Deaq interjected.  
  
Van gave a nod of his head but did not tear his look from his boss's gaze. "Roberts has mob ties, Billie. A man like that doesn't go down. Not because a cop gives some statement or makes a stand."  
  
"The Feds are after him," Billie supplied as if that was a solution.  
  
But Van gave a laugh that held not a hint of humor and leaned back wearily against the glass wall. "They've been after him since he was twenty one. Maybe they can arrest him when he's ninety and gives a death bed confession."  
  
Knowing that the Feds had been after Roberts without success for so long disheartened Deaq and Billie.   
  
"So we just let your reaper run free?" Deaq demanded with frustration, earning him a surprised look from Van.   
  
Deaq had once described the reaper as the 'jack that beat you, that snatched a part of your soul that you can't get back.' That description fit Cade Roberts to a T. "I walked away with some of my soul in tact, Deaq. I gotta be satisfied with that," Van solemnly replied.  
  
Billie was pricked with the thought of her own personal reaper, Gavin. When she had been pulled from cover and Gavin had slipped through her fingers, she wanted to take him out so bad it had hurt. But instead, she had backed off and let herself cool down. Because Gavin had taught her one extremely important lesson: Emotions always mudded the water. No the old adage was right, revenge truly was a dish best served cold.   
  
She almost sighed as she began to see Van's point of view for the first time. Maybe Van was right, maybe now was not the time for action. But walking away wasn't going to be as easy as Van thought it would be. "Even if I agree to back off, the Feds want to talk to you Van and I know what they're going to ask of you."   
  
Van eyes darkened with resolve "Well, the answer's 'no', I'm not going undercover for them, I'm not testifying against Roberts," Van firmly returned.  
  
"They tend to use any leverage they can...if they know you worked for Roberts..." she let the rest of her sentence unsaid.  
  
But Van knew that the Feds could threaten him with jail time if he didn't cooperate with them. He prayed it didn't really come down to that. "I know," he softly said.  
  
Billie's features tightened, "I'm not going to let them blackmail, Van."  
  
Van laughed a true laugh. "You're always out to save the world, Billie."  
  
A smile broke onto her face, "This week I'll be satisfied with saving you. Now how about you sack out here and I'll have Deaq get some pain meds for you."  
  
"Promise me you'll leave Roberts alone," Van pressed, grabbing her arm before she could walk away.  
  
"For now, but I'm not promising to back off forever, Van." At his look of protest she added, "But I won't make another move without telling you."  
  
Knowing he had to be satisfied with that, Van released her arm and she walked back to her office. Van looked to Deaq, "You gonna promise too?"  
  
"Yeah, same promise as Billie," and then he walked over to a box in the corner, pulled out a blanket and threw it to Van. "Sack out, partner. And I'll have some nice drugs for you when you wake up." With that, Deaq walked away.  
  
***************  
  
For the first time in years, Van was trapped in the nightmare that always left him terrified to go to sleep... ever again. Had the nightmare simply been a fabrication of his mind he knew he could beat it but it was no ice cream induced drama. No, what played out in his mind now with sickening realty were memories of the time when he was just a kid working for Roberts.   
  
***********************  
  
Suddenly he was that sixteen year old kid again and he could feel the ice pick resting against his back, could hear Roberts' voice whispering in his ear so reminiscent of that night in Club 9. But long ago the outcome had threatened to do more than claim his life it had almost claimed his soul.   
  
The memory was so sharp to Van it felt like he was reliving it.  
  
Roberts' words were low, menacing as he stood directly behind Van, "One of you thought a nineteen year old's life was more important than my reputation." And Van felt the fear ripple through him even as he saw how the fifteen year old Boyd who stood beside him trembled. "I put that kid out in the desert as a warning to anyone who thinks they can steal from me. But one of you set him free...making a mockery of my reputation."  
  
Both boys remained silent, one because he knew he was caught and the other because he knew any words of denial would only draw Roberts' attention to him.  
  
The ice pick slid up Van's back and he shuddered. "I can't let this go unpunished, you know that," came Roberts's words, almost as an apology.  
  
Swallowing hard, Van spoke for the first time, "I know."  
  
Cade put a hand on Van's shoulder, "You knew the risks, the consequences. You think that 19 year old punk's life is worth your own, Van?"  
  
"He didn't steal from you, Cade. He got robbed. He didn't deserve to die 'cause he got taken," Van had quietly replied.  
  
Cade's hand slid from Van's shoulder, "You don't understand how important a reputation is, how important my reputation is. If I look soft for one instant, I'll go down. If I let your actions go unpunished, I'll look soft." Again regret seemed to resonate through Cade's words. With surprise and confusion, Van felt the ice pick leave his back and he sensed that Cade had moved to stand behind Boyd.   
  
Before Van could began to guess Cade's next move, Boyd cried out in pain...a pain that days prior the grown up Van had experienced, the pain of Cade's ice pick tearing through skin and organs.   
  
*************************  
  
"No!!!" Van yelled and he sat up, sweat soaking his hair and pain coursing through him. Hoping he had not yelled aloud, he waited a moment, fearing that Billie or Deaq would come rushing in. To his relief, neither of them appeared at his side. He jumped as his cell phone rang.  
  
There could be a lot of people calling him, people he even wanted to talk to...but somehow he knew who was on the other side of the call. His chance to walk away had somehow been snatched from his grasp. Trying to steady his breathing, he answered the phone, "Van, here."  
  
Cade Roberts' voice snaked into his ear, "I did you a favor, you understand that." Van cringed at the words, the same words Cade had said when he had killed Boyd to pay for Van's betrayal. "I let you save your partner when his life rested in my hands. I let you walk away."  
  
"I know," Van agreed, wishing again that he had died, that Cade Roberts had not found yet another way to own his soul.  
  
"But then your boss lady took things personally. Still I was going to let her walk.... until I got a call today."  
  
Van's heart pounded in his chest and he prompted like he knew Roberts wanted him to, "What call?"  
  
"Glad you asked! See that shipment of alcohol your lieutenant waylaid...it held more than alcohol. And I know that was just dumb luck that she tagged that shipment but here's where things get unforgivable. The shipment's final destination wasn't my club, that was just a stop over, no it's final destination was my boss's warehouse. Now, I'm a forgiving man...the man I work for, he's not."  
  
Van's very soul turned cold and he could barely choke out the words, "I'll do whatever you want me to, just keep Billie and Deaq outta this."  
  
***********  
  
TBC  
  
**********  
  
Replies to Reviews:  
  
DKM: I'm glad you have decided to post your WB story. I'll have to check it out. I wasn't too faithful on watching the show, but it always intrigued me. Your review for last chapter made me laugh and smile! It was such a relief to hear you liked it that it took away a lot of my nervousness to read the other reviews! And yes, I did load last chapter with some good info...I just knew I had to lay out some of the cards or everyone would stop playing. As for Van working for Roberts, I just always felt Van paid a higher price for Ray Ray's lifestyle than Ray Ray so I came up with this whole debt thing. And I think this chapter cleared up some more details about Van's time with Roberts. Love to hear from you about this chapter!  
  
Sirith: I'll have to check out your fastlane fics but I make it a rule to never read other people's stories while I'm writing my own..I don't want to end up copying things or being influenced. So as soon as I'm done penning this story, I'm going to look up your stories! Thank you for your compliments! Hope you liked this chapter and I'ld love to hear your thoughts on it.  
  
Bjp: Thanks so much for your compliment! And I'm glad you're not disappointed that this story is taking me some time to write and post but I am trying hard to update every week. I'm so pleased that you think I'm on the money with the conversations!!! As for missing an episode, nope, I didn't miss a one and I taped them so I've been feverously watching them now to make sure I keep everyone in character. (What torture?! What Van again and again and again?!) Drop me a line about your thoughts on this chapter!  
  
Mady Bay: Glad you liked last chapter! It was a lot of fun coming up with a vicious past for Van. There just always seemed to be more motives for his dislike of his father and his father's "trade" so of course I had to exploit that! Hope you liked this chapter too!  
  
Leann: Your review made me laugh!!!?!?! No, I am not on crack I'm just insanely insecure when I write stuff that digs deeply into a character's personality. I never know if I've gone to far off line. Relieved to hear you liked the info packed chapter! But as you have discovered, this chapter was not that long but I hope it still gave you some pleasure. Loved to hear what you thought of it!  
  
Lynne: You and I so agree on Deaq's blindness to Ray Ray's true nature!!!! Deaq did enjoy Ray Ray's company at the expense of Van...never realizing that Ray Ray's charm could never make up for the pain he caused Van. I am so glad you feel that way too. It makes this story make more sense to you cause I'm running with that idea. And I'm so flattered that you liked my one liners...sometimes they just fall into place. Glad you like dialogue because I can get real wordy sometimes (just look at this long reply I'm making you suffer through?!?!) About Ray Ray repaying McNar...you brought up a good point...I'll have to think on that one. Love to hear what you thought of this chapter!  
  
ZoZe: I feel a little guilty that my story tempted you into skipping your English homework but in reality, I'm very flattered! Like you asked, this chapter told you the story about Boyd Keyes but I hope it still has you guessing about other things? Finish your homework, then drop me a review!  
  
Fan4fastln: Well, I've solved some more mysteries but I'm hoping there's still some suspense left in Van and Roberts past to keep you interested. And the cruel part of me hopes your tension is high after this chapter! Thanks so much for liking my dialog because I love writing it. As for writing Billie, I really didn't plan on making her a big part of the story until I had some reviewers request her presence and then, she just seemed to sneak right in like she was meant to be there. But I find her very hard to write because, let's be honest, when I watched the show I was all about Van. As for Ray Ray making an appearance...I've played around with the idea but haven't quite decided if he'll drop by or not. If he was any kind of decent dad he would have shown up when Van was in the hospital...but then again I didn't have Van's mother show up. (Feels like I'm writing a "Peanuts" episode where the parents are talked about but never make an appearance on screen.) thanks for your thoughts! Keep them coming!!  
  
Silent Typewriter: Thank goodness I got spared the tomatoes!! And this update show ensure that no tomatoes come my way ...at least this week. I know you hoped this chapter would "get somewhere". Did it? Was what I put in this chapter worth while or do you feel cheated? I'm posting as I'm writing and it's really hard to tell if I'm giving you enough each chapter to keep the story progressing. Please let me know what you think?!  
  
Hazelnut: Thanks so much for thinking my ideas are great. As for Van and Roberts meeting up again...tune in next chapter! And I promise to not quit on this story. I hate when I get all engrossed in a story and then the author never finishes it!?! I've made a personal pact with myself to not do that...even if it takes me quite some time I finish my stories! Love to hear what you thought of this chapter?  
  
Till next time?!? Love to hear your thoughts!  
  
Cheryl W. 


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Authors Notes: SORRY!!!! I know you all want to lynch me for being sooooo late! This month's just been horrible for finding time for writing. (Don't you hate when the real world sucks up so much of your time!?!?!) Hope you'll forgive me?!?! And also forgive me for the errors I missed...I'm posting this without my trusty beta's approval.  
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
***************************  
  
Chapter 7  
  
When Billie walked back to check on Van, she came up short at the empty couch. "Van?" Crossing the open floor to the theater's men's bathroom, she opened the door, purposely turned her head away from the interior and called "Van?" Silence met her call. Fear shot through her as she envisioned Van passed out on the bathroom floor. That thought sent her flying into the bathroom, only to find it empty.  
  
Cursing she stalked out of the room and made her way to her desk. Snatching her phone from its cradle, she punched in Van's cell phone number. She listened as it rang and rang and rang. "Answer your phone, Van!" she growled aloud but a moment later the voice mail kicked in and she terminated the call and immediately dialed Deaq.  
  
"Deaq here."  
  
"Van's gone," she said without preamble.  
  
"Gone?! What do you mean gone? Why'd you let him leave?" Deaq's raised voice pounded in her ear.  
  
"I didn't *let* him leave! I got off the phone with the Feds and he was just gone!" she defended, anger growing in her voice.  
  
Deaq took a steadying breath that Billie clearly heard. "Which car did he take?"  
  
Billie's eyes swept the Candy Store, taking inventory even as she countered, "I'd know if he took a car, Deaq!"  
  
"Ok, which *bike* did he take?" Deaq said with his 'I'm trying real hard to not get mad" tone.  
  
Seeing that only two bikes were parked in the corner of the room instead of the usual three, Billie sighed in frustration and defeat, "He musta walked it out of the Candy Store."  
  
Deaq already was ahead of her. "He took the red one, right?"  
  
"Yeah. He took the red one." A monetary pause fell between them before she added, "He's not answering his phone, Deaq," trying hard to not let that sentence sound as ominous as it felt to her own ears. But she couldn't help but ask, "You think he's OK?"  
  
Deaq's voice came back with an angry façade to cover his own concern, "He is until I get a hold of him. So how long you think it's been since he bounced?"  
  
Billie sighed with frustration and self disgust, "It could be almost twenty minutes."  
  
"Just great," Deaq countered, his worry-free façade fading fast.  
  
Sensing a reprimand in Deaq's tone, Billie retaliated with, "Hey, you're the one that let him out of the hospital."  
  
"Yeah, but I didn't *lose* him," censure coating his words.  
  
Knowing that she couldn't hold back anything if they had any hope of finding Van, Billie steeled herself for Deaq's reaction to her next words. "Deaq, there's one more thing." She heard Deaq's silent expectation and continued, "The truck with the alcohol shipment that I impounded last night for a heavy load...they just found drugs in the glass of the bottles. And the volume of the drugs...Roberts wouldn't carry it on his own."  
  
Dread filled Deaq's voice, "What are you saying? That you inadvertently stopped a mob shipment?!"  
  
"Yeah. It was just by dumb luck."  
  
"Not dumb luck, piss poor luck! Roberts, he probably woulda just let your harassment go, but now you've crossed a line with the mob."  
  
Deaq's words seared regret into Billie. This was all her fault. "I know. And now Van's gone..." If only she had backed off like Van had wanted her to from the start!  
  
Quietly Deaq surmised, "Roberts probably called Van to make a deal."  
  
A curse flew from Billie. "If I put Van back into Roberts's hands.... how could I be so stupid! I should have backed off like Van said but I wouldn't listen!"  
  
To Billie's relief, Deaq did not voice another reprimand but instead offered, "Backing off isn't what we do, especially when someone messes with our family, Billie."  
  
For the first time ever, Deaq heard Billie's voice turn forlorn, "Deaq, I don't know what to do this time..."  
  
"You, me and Van gotta get out heads into the game. Once we do that, Roberts won't know what hit 'em. Call ya when I find Van," and then Billie was listening to dialing tone.  
  
********************  
  
For Van it was if the past eleven years had been stripped away, like he was sixteen again, meeting Cade Roberts face to face and offering to work off his father's debt. But now as he stood before Roberts, no naiveté lingered in him, telling him some lie about how he'd pay the debt and get out. There would be no getting out this time. No one could rescue him. No one could pay this debt for him. This time Cade Roberts would exact payment from him and him alone...and Van knew with clarity the cost would be his very soul.  
  
"I'm here. Let's deal," Van prompted, steadily meeting Cade Roberts's blue eyes while concealing the agony that surged through his injured body reminding him sharply of his last meet with Cade.  
  
Cade's smile was the genuine article as he looked over the young man before him. "It's just like the old days, Van. I call and you come running."  
  
Van shot back, "Starving dog chained to a pole will run to any bastard offering food."  
  
This got a laugh from Cade and he ruffled Van's hair in a fatherly gesture, "The boy I knew has certainly grown up." A slap impacted solidly with Van's right cheek the next second, snapping Van's head to the left. Cade's voice turned deadly, "Don't start talking back to me now, Van."  
  
Biting back both his impulse to strike Cade and the words of hatred he wanted to fling at the man, Van instead met Cade's eyes again, ignoring the new ringing in his head. Getting angry or defending his pride were luxuries Van could not afford, not with Roberts, never with Roberts.   
  
With interest, Roberts watched Van's private war to stoically take the punishment he dealt out. Truly Van Ray had grown up into an unflinchingly strong man, the type of man Cade had known he could become with the right handling. "You understood the consequences of your actions when you were that weak sixteen year old kid. Nothing has changed, Van. You do something I don't like, someone has to pay for it ...maybe it'll be you...maybe it'll be someone you care about."  
  
Van's eyes darkened with hatred at the threat but he met Cade's look fearlessly. "You own me. I got that." For a moment they seemed to gauge one another in silence, then, sensing that Cade would not offer any response to his words, Van continued, "Next topic. What do you want me to do to set things right with the drug shipment?"  
  
Pleasantly surprised by Van's quick acceptance of his servitude, Cade put a companionably hand behind Van's neck and leaned in close, "Get the shipment back."  
  
Enduring Cade's touch took all of Van's resolve. "And take it where?"  
  
Cade pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Van. "See that the drugs are at this location by 2am tomorrow. Take the hundred grand from our business associates and drop it off with Phil down at the chop shop." Then Cade taunted, "You remember where that shop's at, don't you?"   
  
"Yeah," Van bitterly answered. His time working with Roberts was indelibly seared into his memories. He would not have forgotten the chop shop where he had dropped off the cars he had stolen for Roberts any more then he would have forgotten the look on Boyd's face as he died in his arms.   
  
A smug smile turned up Cade's lips, "Good."   
  
Seeing he was almost free of Cade's presence, Van gave no come back but instead snatched the address from Cade's hand and walked out of Cade's touch, seemingly without hurry but with purpose. Cade's voice stopped him on the club's dance floor.  
  
"You play me on this, Van, and I'll kill your partner and your boss...the slow way. We clear."  
  
Without turning around Van replied, "Crystal," and he walked out of the club.  
  
********************************  
  
Certain that he knew where Van would go, Deaq parked the Corvette across the street from Club 9. There was no sign of Van's bike but Deaq's belief that Van was in the club cutting a deal with the devil did not waiver. From all that Van had said and not said about his relationship with Cade Roberts, Deaq knew the bastard would not miss this opportunity to once again claim a hold on Van.  
  
Taking a deep steadying breath, Deaq checked to make sure the magazine clip of his gun was full, slapped the clip back into place and opened the car door. It was time to enter the lion's den and pull Van from the very teeth of the beast if he had to. But before he could exit the car, Van walked out of the front door of Club 9.  
  
At the sight of an alive and seemingly unhurt Van, relief swamped Deaq. Watching his partner walk down the sidewalk, Deaq fought the urge to go to Van. He had no idea what kind of deal Van had cut with Roberts but he knew he couldn't let Roberts know he was about to get up in the middle of it. No, he'd let Van get on his bike and go a few blocks before he'd flag him over.  
  
And that was a good plan, a smart plan from an expert at undercover work. But it went out the window when Van faltered, reached a hand out to steady himself against a wall, and began to slid to the ground. Without hesitation, Deaq put the Corvette into motion, did a U turn and pulled up to the curb beside Van.  
  
Adrenalin had gotten Van out of the Candy Store, made it possible for him to endure the agony of riding the bike and allowed him to stand unflinchingly before Roberts. But since he had escaped Cade's presence, the rush had begun to fade and every movement became a study of agony filled endurance. It was really no surprise that he found himself on the pavement.  
  
Sitting on the ground, leaning heavily against the wall that kept him upright, Van rested his cheek on the wall's cold mortar and let his conversation with Cade run unhindered through his mind. He was so fixed!!! The life he had carved out for himself was slipping through his fingers and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. He was looking at a true life of crime, twenty four 7.  
  
He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder and his eyes shot up to see his partner. "Deaq, what are you doing here?"  
  
"What's my line, player," Deaq countered as he bent down, slipped an arm around Van and gently pulled him to his feet. "Come on Van," and he guided Van to the Vette.  
  
"The bike..." Van protested, pointing down the street to where the bike was parked.  
  
But Deaq cut off his protests, "Forget the bike, man," and he settled Van into the passenger seat of the Vette before he climbed into the driver's seat and put the Vette into motion.  
  
Dividing his attention between the road and his partner, Deaq challenged, "Roberts told you about the drugs in the truck and now he's blackmailing you all over again. You went in there and cut a deal to save Billie."  
  
Van found he could say nothing in response to that. He had never made it a habit to lie to Deaq and he wasn't planning on starting now. Beside it didn't really matter how much Deaq or Billie knew, they could not help him now. The deal was set. Cade owned him.  
  
At Van's silence, Deaq's dread deepened. "What's he want this time?"  
  
Van almost snorted at the question and thought, 'my soul', but he answered Deaq with "the shipment back."  
  
"Or else he'll turn Billie over to his mafia boss," Deaq supplied.  
  
Tiredly Van returned, "You're psychic, man."  
  
"What kinda time frame we working with?" This earned Deaq Van's full attention.  
  
"This is no "we" here!" Van protested, his hand motions indicating himself and Deaq.  
  
Recognizing the wall Van was again starting to erect between them, Deaq's voice turned hard as stone, "You're forgetting something! We are *partners*, Van! We protect each others backs! Someone comes after you, he's gotta go through me first!"  
  
Turning to face Deaq, Van challenged, "You think Cade wouldn't do that?! You think he'd hesitate *one second* putting a lick shot into your head?! The only reason *either* of us walked out of the club that night was cause there is only one thing Cade likes better than killing....and that's playing mind games. He *enjoyed* making me beg for your life...almost as much as he enjoyed using his ice pick."  
  
A flinch went through Deaq at Van's words. To think Van had begged for his life...that hurt Deaq in ways seeing Van bleeding all over the Candy Store hadn't. Anguish coated Deaq's words, "I'm sorry, Van. I'm sorry that Roberts used me against you."  
  
Deaq's apology caught Van by surprise. "You know this isn't your fault, right?" but Deaq would not look his way and Van could see the tight set of his partner's jaw that indicated self inflicted guilt. "Cade saw a weakness and he exploited it. And that's *my* fault."  
  
Glancing to Van, Deaq questioned in outrageous disbelief, "Your fault how?"  
  
Emotions overrode Van's hard won barriers and he had to take a moment to get himself together before he quietly answered Deaq. "I broke the rule, Deaq." The next words seemed to choke him, "Don't show fear, need, loyalty or love...ever."  
  
Deaq had heard Van rattle off this motto before but this time something deeper and darker lurked behind the words. Quietly he asked, "That another one of your father's slogans?" Then he added bitterly, "Like 'Pros Play Hurt'?", knowing just how close he had come to writing Van's eulogy because Van had adhered to that piece of fatherly advice.  
  
But Van shook his head. No this advice was not Ray Ray's. "Cade taught me that one," he lowly supplied as memories slammed into him. Memories of Boyd dying in his arms and of Cade squatting down to callously watch the scene. Cade's words rang through his head all over again. 'How many times do I have to say it until you get it through your head, Van? You show fear, need, loyalty or love...ever, and you'll lose. You tried to protect Boyd, be his big brother but in the end,' Cade's look had settled on Boyd's lifeless eyes, 'you're the reason he's dead, Van. He became your weakness and I never miss a chance to exploit a weakness. Learn the golden rule, kid, before I have to kill someone else you care about.'   
  
"Van?" Deaq called for the third time as he gripped Van's arm.   
  
Pulled from the memories, Van blinked and met Deaq's worried look.   
  
"You OK?"   
  
"I'm fine," Van brusquely replied, hurriedly pulling his look from his all too observant partner.  
  
Deaq sadly rebuked, "No, you're not fine. You haven't been fine since you laid eyes on him in that club."  
  
The truth of Deaq's words were not lost on Van. Getting an ice pick shoved into his back had been one of the more pleasant experiences since he had first laid eyes on Cade Roberts in Club 9.   
  
Sensing that Van would not comment on his words he firmly stated. "Van, none of this is your fault. You start believing it is and you're letting Roberts beat you."  
  
Van shook his head in disbelief. "He already beat me! He beat me ten years ago and he'll beat me now."  
  
"He didn't beat you, you walked away...with your soul intact. You beat him, Van! And that's what pisses him off so badly...you beat him at his own game, walked away and never looked back. You did it once...you can do it again."  
  
"Not this time, Deaq. He *let* me go last time...he won't show me any mercy now," Van disputed.   
  
But Deaq challenged, "So what, you're just gonna voluntarily put on the leash again? Hand over your whole soul to your reaper?"  
  
Settling back into the seat and pulling his look from Deaq, Van's words were drowning in defeat. "I'm out of options, Deaq."  
  
Deaq had never *never* seen Van accept defeat and seeing it now cut into him. "No, no you're not, Van! Together, you, me and Billie, we can get you free of Roberts."   
  
But Deaq's optimism rubbed Van the wrong way. No matter how many ways he explained it, Deaq wasn't seeing the truth. With bitterness, he snapped back, "So when did you turn into Mr. Optimistic?! I thought you were the realist in the crowd. And what's this whole "togetherness" talk you got going? What? You think, unlike you, I can't stand alone?"  
  
Surprised by Van's reaction, Deaq countered, "No, Van. What I'm saying is you don't *have* to stand alone."  
  
"Yes, yes I do!" Van insisted in frustration. "The only thing I need from Billie is the drugs back then I'll deal with Roberts...myself."  
  
"And how are you going to "deal" with Roberts? Be his slave for the rest of your life?!" Before Van could protest Deaq continued, "And sorry to throw a wrench into your well thought out plan but Billie doesn't have the drugs, the feds do."  
  
Van turned disbelieving eyes onto Deaq. This was one snag he hadn't seen coming. "The Feds have the drugs!?"  
  
"Yeah, you know the guys in the suits that want to talk to you real bad about you being their undercover snitch."  
  
Silence fell in the car as Van digested this new information. Things kept getting more and more complicated. With an ever sinking heart he knew the solution to this new problem. Pulling out his cell phone he dialed Billie's office. Hard on the heels of her hello, he declared, "Billie, I want to cut a deal with the Feds."   
  
TBC  
  
Hey I didn't leave you with a cliffy right? That's gotta count for something!  
  
*************************************  
  
Replies to Reviews:  
  
DKM: Glad you're interested in learning more about Van and Cade's past because I've dedicated pretty much thought to that topic myself. All will be revealed in time. As for Van stealing evidence, I was trying real hard to get that to work but it seemed too complicated so I went the easy way out: poor Van has to cut another deal this time with the Feds. Love to hear your feedback on this chapter.  
  
Zoze: I don't think I ever get over "wordy" phases but sometimes it just doesn't play well in the story. I always love to explore issues that the characters have with each other but they all can't be solved in one little fan fiction story? (Or can they? Hmmmmm!) Drop me a line on your thoughts on this chapter!  
  
Sirith: Yes, sometimes I truly feel like I'm ripping off someone else's great idea and I of course want to take credit for every great story idea myself. (I'm selfish that way.) Glad you like blackmail because I think it's so cruel and yet its so ...cool. I wish I had the heart to blackmail someone to get my own way but I guess I'll have to leave it to the true bad guys in the world. Relieved that you like the way I portray the characters personalities!!!! The show had a feel all of its own and I totally loved it. But copying it, now that's proving to be the challenge because I am in no way cool like Van, Deaq and Billie. Loved to know what you thought of this chapter!  
  
Fan4fastln: I never get tired of compliments!!!!! Please say on!!!! As for the flashbacks, I just couldn't resist and it worked so well for that segment of the story. Glad you liked it! And yes, I did do my homework. I've dug out all the episodes and rewatched them and studied the characters and ...OK ...I'm a little obsessive about getting characterization correct. And yes, for Deaq the shine was starting to wear off of Ray Ray but I still would be bugged by his easy acceptance and hero worship if I were Van. I guess that's way this story got it's makings. I wanted Deaq to see Ray Ray through Van's eyes and see that Van's the man he should respect. Ah.. you got me rambling on about issues...sorry about that! Love to know if you liked this chapter!  
  
Lelann37: Happy you liked last chapter! And you know I love putting Van in a tight spot...he always looked so cute when he was stressed. And just so you don't bail on me..still to come ....Van working for Cade...Van revealing the whole Boyd/Cade/Van thing to Deaq and Billie. (Have I still got your interest?) Please tell me what you thought of this chapter?  
  
Silent Typewriter: (Wipes rotten tomatoes off of her forehead and outta her hair) OK I deserved that. Totally! Sorry about the horribly late post!!! And yes, Van did do something stupid to protect Billie and Deaq but of course I made sure he had little other options...ok no other options. For your information, you are not sadistic...or...well it least you are not alone in being sadistic. I too love angst... the more the better, but I keep some simple rules in mind: Angst =awesome; Angst that leads to death of character=bad. (Ever all we need to keep them alive to torture them all over again with more angst.) Love to know if you liked this chapter and how good I have to be before you stop throwing tomatoes at me!  
  
Lynne: I guess I always think a chapter's not finished until there's that great cliffy at the end. But you will notice, this chapter's ending wasn't really a cliffy so I'm trying to change my ways. I so appreciate that you told me which line you liked!!!!! I almost changed that one ?!?! Yes, I think Billie was terribly impulsive and yet if her guys were impulsive she'd chew them out for it! Bosses always get away with "do as I say not as I do". Glad you liked where I took the plot. I just couldn't help but up the ante by throwing the mafia into the pot! And yes, this new mess is Billie's fault and I don't think Van should take the fall for it..(of course I am the author and I could change the story but I'm trying to think like Van and he's always been too kind hearted for his own good). So Van will pay the price for Billie's impulsiveness and walking away is now not an option. Glad you're interested in the Boyd/Cade/Van storyline! I love digging up someone's angst filled past!!! Sorry that Deaq couldn't miraculously save the day but this is a debt Van has to pay on his own. I really want to know what you thought of this chapter!  
  
Stygius: I'm blushing over your review!! Thank you!! And I would apologize for the cliffies but I would not be sincere. I love writing them! Love to hear if you liked this chapter!  
  
Almarmentini: Thank you so much for your fantastic review!! And I'm very sorry that I did indeed keep you waiting way too long for this next chapter! I'll try to do better! Reviews always encourage me to write faster? (hint hint hint)  
  
Mnemosyne23: Glad you stumbled on my little old story!! And if you haven't already guessed, I too was a diehard "Fastlane" fan. I'm never good at letting a good thing die so I started this story and it's just taken off. Who can resist Van angst...or Van for that matter?!?!? He's tough and soft and complicated and so good looking! And yes, even I'm looking forward to seeing Roberts "get the sweet comeuppance he's owed." Stay tuned...he will. Thanks for reading and I'ld love to hear what you thought of this chapter.  
  
Thanks so much for your patience!!!! I'm going to post this chapter and continue writing the next chapter so I won't fall horribly behind in posting again! Again thank you for reading and reviewing!  
  
Cheryl W. 


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Authors Notes: Hey I'm back on schedule! Hope you like!  
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 8  
  
"No," Billie stubbornly denied as she and Van squared off center stage in the Candy Store while Deaq silently sat on the side lines.  
  
"You act like I have an option!" Van sallied back incredulously. "Things are real clear, Billie. Roberts will turn you over to the mob if I don't return their drugs. And the "only" way to get the drugs back is to make a deal with the Feds."  
  
"And I said no!" her voice rising. "I made this mess, I'll clean it up. I'll make the deal with the Feds."  
  
"Ya can't! You got nothing they want!"  
  
"But you do," It was not a question but instead an accusation and a reprimand.  
  
Van had been waiting for the disappointment to register in her eyes, in Deaq's eyes and now it had begun. Softly he asked, "You think I wanted to cut a deal with Cade? You think I woulda done that if there was any other way 'round this?"  
  
"You could have come to me," Billie answered sharply.   
  
Anger sparked in Van's eyes. "Why can't you admit that you can't fix this! Cade isn't some mark you can maneuver! The *mob* isn't some mark you can take on and live!"  
  
Billie quietly countered, "I don't believe that."  
  
At her words, Van's eyes darkened and he became still and quiet. His next words spoke only of despair. "I've known some people who thought that way....and they all ended up dead." Without another word, Van crossed over to Billie's desk, picked up her phone and dialed Captain Perish's phone number. At the Captain's greeting, Van announced, "This is Officer Van Ray. I want to cut a deal with the Feds."  
  
*******************************************  
  
If cutting a deal with Roberts had felt like Van had sealed a pact with the devil, then cutting a deal with the Feds was like having an audit...on his soul. As he answered one question after another from the two Federal agents, he was increasingly glad that he had requested this meeting be privately held. The last thing he needed was to have Deaq or Billie here, though by his partner and boss's scowls at that request, he knew there would be hell to pay for cutting them out of the deal.  
  
"So you stole cars for Roberts when you were sixteen?" the thin, red haired agent questioned, not for the first time.  
  
Van leaned over the table and met the agent's eyes steadily, "I'm working on a time schedule here. You want my autobiography or do you want to cut a deal?"  
  
This caused the older agent to cut in sharply, "You think you're holding some high card..you got nothing, kid. It's us that has something you want. Roberts' drugs."  
  
Flippantly Van returned, "Fine. I got nothing you want then I'll walk," and he stood up swiftly and began to head out of the interrogation room.  
  
"Wait," the older agent ordered.  
  
At that one word, Van stalked back to the table and demanded, "The deal's simple. I want the drugs and you want Roberts. Give me the drugs and I'll get you Roberts' warehouse location."  
  
The younger agent shook his head, "That's not the deal we're offering."  
  
"But you said you wanted the warehouse location!" Van protested, his patience at an end.  
  
"Yes," the older agent replied like he was talking to a toddler, "but the warehouse location that the drugs were originally headed to. The mob's warehouse."  
  
The blood drained from Van's face. He had expected the Feds to force him to go after Roberts .....but the mob?!?! Swallowing hard he protested, "Roberts isn't having me take the drugs there...he doesn't trust me enough to tell me that location. And the mob, since the stuff's been in your possession, they don't want to chance taking the shipment back so they are selling it off as soon as possible."  
  
"Interesting but not our problem. The deal's on the table, " and the older agent throw the keys to the tractor trailer that carried the drugs onto the table, "either take it or leave it."  
  
Not for the first time, Van wished Cade had sunk the ice pick a little higher in his back. "I'm taking it," Van agreed as he picked up the keys and headed for the door.  
  
"And Ray," the younger agent called and Van turned around to face the two agents one last time, "stealing cars wasn't all you did for Roberts. You don't come through for us and you'll be the one doing time."  
  
"Funny that you'd have enough evidence to put me away but not enough to even touch Roberts?" Van challenged darkly before he yanked open the door and walked out of the interrogation room.  
  
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2 Hours Later  
  
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Van looked over to his two traveling companions with frustration. "You two are going to blow this whole thing! If Cade knows you went to the meet with me, he may shut down my deal."  
  
"And the down side of that would be what exactly?" Billie acidly replied, as she maneuvered the tractor trailer onto the interstate.   
  
Looking past Deaq, who sat in the middle of the tractor trailer cab, over to Billie, Van agitatedly countered, "Uh, well, how about you getting killed!? I think that's a down side but then again I'm kinda sensitive."  
  
Deaq raised his hands, "Hold up you two. Does this argument have to last the *whole* trip?"  
  
Two simultaneous "Yes" s answered Deaq's question.  
  
Glancing between his partner and his boss, Deaq sighed and tried to be the peacemaker again. "This is getting us nowhere. None of us can undo what we did so let's move on."  
  
"Move on?!" Billie bitterly repeated and shot Deaq an incredulous look. "Van is working for Cade Roberts..the guy who put an ice pick through his back, and if he plays him there won't be enough of Van left to bury. And then," here her look seared into Van, "you made a deal with the Feds to help them bring down Roberts ...and if you fail you're looking at jail time."  
  
Van did not correct Billie on her perception of his deal with the Feds. He couldn't come to terms with the deal himself..to even consider ratting out the mob?! He was a cop and he tried to play it cool and unafraid but he had seen inside the mafia world and there wasn't a shred of him not terrified by the thought of betraying them. In their world, killing was just another business technique.  
  
Instead Van countered with, "If you object to my deals then why are you here, Billie?!"  
  
"Cause you couldn't drive the truck," she replied smugly.  
  
"No, I said I haven't driven a truck in a long time.. not that I *couldn't* drive the truck," Van protested a little too dramatically.  
  
"Give it up, Player!" Deaq cut in. "You didn't even know how to turn on the lights!"  
  
Van turned accusing eyes onto his partner, "Like you did! You almost detached the trailer trying to start the engine." And some of the tension in Van eased at the easy banter he traded with Deaq.  
  
Sensing the positive effect their argument had on Van, Deaq continued it with gusto. "Please, you're the one that coulda grounded hamburger getting it into first gear." Then Deaq imitated the sound that had emanated from the gears at Van's attempt to shift the gears.  
  
A laugh, a true laugh broke from Van at Deaq's imitation. "Stop man," he said, trying hard to stop laughing, "it hurts to laugh," and he wrapped his arm around his waist and lightly braced his wound.  
  
As if this were the opening he had been waiting for, Deaq dug in his coat pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills. "That's why good boys take their pills," he said tauntingly as he opened the bottle, grabbed Van's hand and shook out two pills onto his partner's palm.  
  
Van smugly smiled at Deaq, "I can't swallow them without something to drink."  
  
"I got that covered," Deaq returned, an evil glint in his eyes as he produced a water bottle from his other coat pocket and handed it to Van. "Bottle's up, Van," he sallied back with a wide smile.  
  
Knowing he was out played and unable to ignore his growing pain, Van willingly swallowed the two pills and prayed they were fast acting. In half an hour they'd be at the meeting spot to make the drug deal and every sense that Van owned told him that things wouldn't go down smoothly.  
  
**********************  
  
"Deaq should at least hang back," Van offered as a compromise.  
  
But Deaq protested before all his words were out. "No way am I sitting this one out. We are going in there together, Van."  
  
"But there are only expecting me to make the deal, that's what Cade would have told them," Van tried to make his partner see reason. "Having Billie show up is gonna freak them out enough without adding another player into the mix.'  
  
Deaq's set look was answer enough for Van. "Well that's too bad for them cause I'm coming in."  
  
"Fine, you wanna blow this sale, you wanna get me killed by Cade or the Mafia, then come on in, Deaq," Van sarcastically replied, even as he checked his gun for a full clip.  
  
Deaq did the same check with his own gun as he flippantly groused back, "Yeah, Van, that's what this is all about." But then Deaq's eyes settled on Van and his voice turned deadly, "I didn't sit in that hospital praying you'd live so I could let you get wasted by some drug dealers. I'm going in Van, I'm gonna make sure everything goes down right and then we can move onto the business at hand: getting Cade Roberts the hell outta your life."  
  
Stunned at Deaq's words, Van didn't know what to say and Deaq saved him the trouble, "Shut up, Van and let's get this thing done." And then Billie pulled the truck off the interstate onto a dirt path and after three miles their headlights reflected off another tractor trailer cab and a Porsche. Billie pulled the truck to a stop two hundred yards from the other truck and cut the engine but let the headlights remain on.  
  
Three men stepped to the front of the other truck and one of them was holding a brief case. "Time to sell our wares at market," Van said a second before he opened the cab door and jumped down to the ground. A small groan of pain escaped him at the jolt to his body but he moved forward as smoothly as he always did.  
  
But Deaq had heard his partner's grunt of pain and he clenched his teeth together and prayed that things would go down uneventfully. Van had seen more than his share of action lately and Deaq was hoping he could shelter his partner from here on out. Jumping out of the cab, Deaq made his way to flank Van as they approached the buyers. As planned, Billie stayed behind the wheel of the truck.  
  
The dark haired man in the middle, spoke first, "Cade said you'd be alone, Strummer."  
  
The use of his undercover name startled Van but he didn't let it show. "He tends to leave out some details," he answered, knowing all too well the truth of his words. It had never occurred to Van that Roberts would leave his cover unscathed, that he would, in some sick way, protect Van's real identity. No matter how well he thought he knew Cade Roberts, Van always found out he didn't know him at all.  
  
In reply the buyer laughed, "Truer words have never been spoken. Let's get this deal done."  
  
"You got the money then I've got the goods," Van said as he stepped forward and grabbed the briefcase the man held out to him. Taking a few steps back to be in line again with Deaq, Van squatted down amid the lights of the two truck's, sat the briefcase on the ground and opened it. A snake sprang from the case, striking for Van's throat. With a startled cry, Van fell backwards, eluded the snakes' teeth and impacted harshly with the ground. Agony tore through his back immobilizing his body even as his mind screamed for him to move, to crawl if he had to. But before he could convince his injured body to obey his mind, he felt the snake slither onto his leg. Van's blood froze in fear and he ceased all motion even breathing.  
  
At his partner's cry, Deaq's attention had swung to Van. And that was all the distraction the three buyers needed to pull their weapons.  
  
It had happened so fast. One minute Billie was convinced this would be a smooth operation and the next, a buyer leveled a gun at each of them. There weren't many plays she could make, sitting in the truck. Pulling her gun was useless. If she shot through the windshield, her accuracy would be lost and if she opened the door to take the shot, the second the door creaked open, the buyers would open fire. Using the truck was out unless she intended to run over Deaq who stood in the truck's path and Van who was lying on the ground with a snake sliding up his leg. Backing the truck up and bailing on Van and Deaq never crossed her mind.  
  
Deaq had made a grab for his gun but that motion halted as the buyer closest to him shot at his feet. "Don't do it," the man threatened and Deaq raised his hands to his side to show he would not make that move again. Then his eyes refocused on Van and he couldn't help but shiver as he watched the snake slide onto Van's chest.  
  
"Just stay still Van," Deaq instructed, his own worry for Van's situation unmasked.   
  
Internally Van gave voice to Deaq's advice, 'Like I'm gonna move with a snake on my chest Deaq!' but externally Van remained silent, he was in no way gonna do anything to cause the snake to get pissed.  
  
"Out of the truck, sweatheart," the leader called up to Billie even as his gun sight never left Van's chest. "Get out now or be prepared to bury your boys here. And no tricks."  
  
Looking at the third man who had his gun sighted on her, Billie cursed. How had things gone so badly so quickly?! She opened the door slowly and immediately she was ordered to toss her gun which she did though she did so unwillingly. Then she jumped down to the ground and the third man came over and shoved her forward so she would join the rest of the gang between the two truck's headlights.  
  
The leader squatted down and watched Van as the snake hissed on Van's chest. Van was so pale his blood vessels started to become visible and his breathing was shallow. The leader smirked, "Roberts cut us a sweet deal on these drugs tonight. He needed to move them fast, knowing that, I negotiated a good price. But for the first time, he came back with an even better number." With a smile the leader grabbed Van's leg and jerked him backward. The snake reacted immediately to the motion of his prey and rose up to attack position, hissing as it sighted on Van's face.  
  
Van's heart pounded in his chest as his eyes stayed locked on the snake. This wasn't how he thought he'd go out. Like some Crocodile Hunter reject. But the worst part wasn't his dying, no the worst part was knowing Deaq and Billie were gonna die too...all 'cause of him.   
  
Instinctively Deaq started to go to his partner, but a gun barrel came to rest on his chest, bringing him to a full up stop. They were truly driven hard on this one.  
  
A laugh broke the tension as the leader stood up but still rested his look and his gun sight on Van. "Roberts cut my price in half, kid...as long as I'ld kill you when you came to make the deal."  
  
**************  
  
TBC  
  
Hey since I didn't give you a decent cliffy for a while I felt I was cheating you (evil grin). Could things get worse for Van?! You gotta tune in to see!  
  
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Replies to Reviews:  
  
Fan4fastln: Well, to be honest, last chapter I did have a wee bit of writers block too. RL and writer's block..that's so unfair. Anyway, I've put the RL back in the corner it belongs in and knocked down the wall so here's chapter 8 on time! That's such a compliment that my other Fastlane story got you willing to check out the other Fastlane fic offerings. That little story practically wrote itself back when the show was on but I had no audience to show it to because ffnet wasn't putting up the show's category. I was tickled pink when, low and behold, a fastlane category materialized. (I love getting what I want). And I truly appreciate your every review so keep 'em coming!  
  
DKM: Even I'm feeling sorry for Van at the end of this chapter. He's definitely not getting any breaks here. Glad you think it's plausible that he would blame himself for things that are going down. As for the lines of the show, I've been writing them down and been trying to use them in the proper context because, like you, I loved their dialogue!!! This show was cool from start to finish! As for the source of Van's psychological damage ...I'm trying to give it to you in pieces because I think that's how a person would reveal a dark past...hesitantly maybe unwillingly but somehow the past always come back to haunt you. Please drop me a review!  
  
Almarmentini: Me?! Write a cool story?! Now that's an awesome thought! Thanks!! Hurting Van? That sounds like fun! (And I'm no psycho either! Really...I'm not!) Hope this chapter brought you some excitement. Give me a review and tell me what you think!  
  
Mady Bay: You asked for more despair in Van...I'm more than willing to supply that!! Glad you appreciated the angst because I love putting Van through every moment of it! Hope to hear from you again!  
  
Leann: Glad I'm keeping your interest. Your excitement for Van's deal with the Feds gave me the idea to really spice things up by having the Feds ask not for Roberts on a silver platter but the mafia. (Great inspiration on your part!! But Van is hardly gonna thank you). Keep the comments coming! They really help my storyline keep moving.  
  
ZoZe: I'm blushing here! It's always such a thrill when someone actually enjoys reading something I've written and to hear you "soaked" up my words...I'm overjoyed! Sorry that Billie isn't in the story as much as you want her to be but I have a real hard time getting a good handle on her character. I don't know what she'd do in certain situations and I always like to know the characters cold. I've tried to study her but for all the airtime they gave her, I have to admit I spent my time focused on Van and even watching the show now I'm totally drawn to Van. I'll try to keep Billie a front line character for this story but please forgive me if her characterization is off! Thanks for your reviews!!!!  
  
Ysabell: Your review had me grinning from ear to ear! The fact that you appreciate this story and yet have never seen Fastlane...I'm so flattered! And thanks so much for your review on the SW story! I truly love writing angst and I love also to read it. Some of my story getting started because I've read all the good angst stories on a fandom and need another *fix* so like any obsessed person, I make up my own angst story to tell myself. I hope you someday have the pleasure of seeing Fastlane but for now, I'm glad you're tuning in to this story! Love to hear what you think of this chapter!  
  
Silent Typewriter: I'm worried about my punishment from chapter 7's wait so much so that I feared what would happen to me if I were even one day late on this chapter! And yes, you should worry for Van... every second he gets into deeper trouble. And he's got more severe consequences than rotten tomatoes if he fails to please. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter!  
  
Lynne: Wow! I was so thrilled at your review I couldn't stop grinning myself. To think you enjoy my story that much...I am so pleased!!!! And thank you for recognizing the risk I always feel in posting another story. I feel like I'm making myself vulnerable and I am because I am so terribly thin skinned especially about my writing. Any criticism and I'm wondering if I should ever post another word again (I'm so dramatic sometimes It's disgusting). But then I get a fantastic review like yours and I know I can't quit just because I'm terribly offended at helpful criticism and even the not so helpful criticism. Reviewers like you make posting a story a real joyful thing! Thanks! Also I'm glad you liked my Deaq lines. And Deaq's loyalty to Van is as much of a must in this story as Van's angst. You just can't have one without the other the combination is just too great! And I'm with ya on the bursting into tears after that Cade met...course maybe that's cause I'm a girl too. (We are all just so soft sometimes) At least you didn't have to wait extra long for this chapter! Hope that earns me another review by you?! (Hint Hint)  
  
Electricgurl: Yes, having to make a deal with anybody is always bad news. And for Van to have to make a deal with Roberts and the Feds?!?! His life stinks right now! Glad to have you back reading and sorry I haven't gotten as far in the story as you had hoped. But at least its moving forward, right? Thanks for the review!   
  
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Till next time!   
  
Cheryl W. 


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Authors Notes: Because that last cliffie was way cruel. I'm posting early. (See I do have a heart!?) Warning: Violence ahead.   
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 9  
  
Fury surged through Van. He should have expected this! It wasn't so much a betrayal by Cade but another one of his tests. The man never tired of head games. For the first time, Van took his eyes off the snake and seared his look into the leader.   
  
With that eye contact, the leader began to understand why Roberts's price had turned so cheap when he had thrown killing the kid into the bargain. This kid was a fighter to his core. With his last breath he would try to kill the man that threatened his friend's lives. With that thought in mind, the leader decided to aim true and raised his gun sights to Van's head.  
  
Fueled by his desperation to save Deaq and Van, Van abandoned his regard for his own life. With reflexes honed by his undercover work, Van grabbed for the snake. As his hand wrapped around the snake, the snake sprang forward for his strike. But before the snake could sink it's teeth into Van's neck, Van sent the snake sailing through the air. Freed of the snake, Van rolled to the left. The leader's bullet sank into the ground where his head had been an instant before.  
  
Seeing their openings, Deaq and Billie turned on their keepers. Deaq charged into the man that stood in front of him, taking them both to the ground to wrestle for the direction of the buyer's gun. Billie had slammed her elbow into the face of the man that stood behind her. Spinning around, she delivered a punch to his face.  
  
As quick as the snake he had just discarded, Van, amid his roll, pulled his gun and coming to halt on his back, he pulled the trigger. Satisfaction and relief went through him as his bullet hit the leader in the chest, spinning the man to the ground. Van was about to check on Deaq and Billie's private battles but before he could, Deaq yelled out his name, drawing his attention to that quarter.  
  
Turning to the wrestling figures of Deaq and his opponent, Van saw a gun barrel pointed his way and, against Deaq's best efforts to prevent it, the buyer's finger was pressing on the trigger. Options flashed through Van's mind a million a second but in truth the best option he could not take...he would not risk taking a shot at the man, not with Deaq so close, not with the two men's fight still frenzied with motion. He had not saved Deaq's life only to take it by accident to save his own life. And before he could even try to gather the strength or the thought of which way to move out of the way, the gun fired.  
  
Relief almost made Deaq go slack in his battle. At the last instant he had managed to wrestle the gun's sights from Van and the bullet shattered one of the truck's headlights. To think how close that bullet had come to hitting Van spurred new energy in Deaq. In an unforeseen action, he relinquished his grip on the other man's arm that he had pinned to the ground and delivered a punch to the man's jaw. The man's head snapped to the right and then his body went slack with unconsciousness. Deaq yanked the gun from the man's grip and looked over to Van with relief.   
  
Then both men's eyes sought out Billie. They watched as she delivered a high powered kick to her opponent's head, dropping him to the ground like a stone. Crossing to her officers, Billie asked, "You two alright?", her assessing eyes swinging from Deaq to Van.  
  
"What, us, alright?" Van quirked, settling his head back on the ground, he looked to Deaq then back to Billie. "Deaq and I always got things covered."  
  
But Deaq's words did not match his tired tone. "Yeah, we were in total control."  
  
"Yeah," Billie sarcastically replied and knelt down beside Van. "You didn't get bit, right?"  
  
Van opened his mouth to answer but Deaq's irritated voice overrode him. "Course maybe you don't want to tell us something like that...maybe you wanna stand silent on something so trivial like a snake bite...Hey why don't we just take you home and we'll check with you tomorrow to see if you're still alive."  
  
Van shot Deaq a scathing look. "One time," and he raised his index finger, "One time I shut up about something ...like you always want me to...and now I gotta take your crap about it forever."  
  
Deaq's voice brimmed with increduolousness, "Van you were dying! Sitting there bleeding all over the Ferrari and saying nothing."  
  
"This is all about the upholstery, isn't it?" Van shot back, knowing that it had nothing to do with the ruined upholstery of a Ferrari.  
  
But Deaq was game to switch the gears, "You bet it is! Do you have any idea how hard it's gonna be to match that interior!"  
  
"Enough!" Billie ordered and when she saw a protest creased Van's face, she put her hand over his mouth. Leaning over him, her eyes seared into Van's, "Did you get bit? Yes or no."  
  
To this Van shook his head but still Billie did not remove her hand from his mouth but fired another question his way.  
  
"Did you pull out any of your stitches?"  
  
This also earned her a shake of Van's head. For a moment she did not move but studied the level of pain in Van's eyes. Determining that Van's pain was minimal, that he was not lying to her, Billie removed her hand from Van's mouth and slid it behind Van's shoulders and eased him to a sitting position.  
  
"That hand over his mouth really worked!?" Deaq said in exaggerated awe. "I gotta try that myself when he's not shutting up." This earned him a dark look from Van but uncharacteristically no words followed. Coming to his feet, Deaq came to Van's side, "Let's get outta here," he said as he bent down and luped his arm around Van. Carefully, Billie and Deaq aided Van to his feet, neither liking the paleness of Van's face.  
  
But Van pulled from their hold and walked over to the leader. With one look, Van knew the man was dead. A thousand thoughts ran through his head at this new turn of events.  
  
Billie knelt down by the briefcase and by the remaining light, could see that the case had held more than it's slithering occupant. Neat stacks of bills also decorated the bottom of the case. "Looks like the bargain price was around fifty thousand." She looked up and focused on Van's back. "Guess your deal with Roberts is off," she said trying hard not to let her relief coat her words.   
  
But Van's voice was rough with finality, "Wrong. It's just been sealed."   
  
"What?!" and Deaq came to stand by Van. "The man set you up to be killed Van! He want's you dead!"  
  
Van hardly heard Deaq's words. He was already trying to come up with his next move. Fifty thousand...he was fifty thousand dollars short...again. And Roberts himself had made sure he was short that amount. Bastard loved playing games. Van's eyes flickered to the dark silhouette of the buyer's car to his left.   
  
Not getting a response from Van, Deaq's hand shot out and he grabbed Van's shoulder, spinning his partner around to face him. "Are you listening to me, Van?! Roberts ain't offering you that deal anymore. All he wants is you dead."  
  
Shaking his head, Van contradicted bitterly. "It was a damn test, Deaq. I pass and the deal is set." Van's eyes flickered again to the Porsche. "Except Roberts asked me to bring back one hundred thousand."  
  
"But he's the one who bargained it down to Fifty," Billie incredulously argued.  
  
"Cause he didn't want to make it too simple for me and he loves throwing that fifty thousand dollar debt back into my face." Van pulled from Deaq's hold and crossed over to the Porsche and opened the door. A smile pulled onto his face, as the keys dangled in the ignition. Looking back to Deaq he questioned, "So how much are Porsches going for these days?"  
  
Trying to get things straight in his head, Deaq recounted, "Alright, Roberts sent you out here to make a drug sale, supposedly for the price of one hundred thousand. But on the side, he cut a bargain price with the buyers if they killed you. You survived the meet and you think the deals now set in stone...as long as you show up with one hundred thousand dollars."  
  
The partners's eyes met across the distance. "I know Cade, Deaq."  
  
"He's one cold, sick bastard!" Deaq yelled back, infuriated that for all the danger they had overcome this night, it had only gotten Van deeper into Cade's clutches.  
  
A cold smirk pulled onto Van's face, "Now you're starting to know him too."   
  
Billie approached Van, "There's gotta be something here that we can flip to our advantage. You said Roberts knows you but you also know Roberts. You know his weaknesses. It's time we turn the tables, Van. He exploited your weakness, now we're gonna start exploiting his."  
  
Indecision warred in Van. He agreed with Billie, he wanted to take action against Cade. To bring him pain the way he had brought him pain. But that was a dangerous game. It could cost him the lives of the people he cared about most or it could cost him his soul.   
  
Van did not notice that Deaq had came to stand at his side until his partner's quiet words cut into his thoughts, "Do you think me and Billie are gonna just walk away. Let you cut this deal with Roberts to save us and then turn out backs on you. That ain't the way it's gonna go down, Van. Every second you're with Roberts, we're gonna be busy planning taking him down. We are not backing off...ever...till you're free of Roberts' hold."  
  
Van read the truth in Deaq's eyes and in Billie's eyes. They would not let him make this sacrifice unchallenged. They were nothing like his father. With certainty he began to realize that the only way this could end well for any of them was if he did as Billie wanted, if he used his familiarity of Cade to bring the man down. Sighing, he put his half formed plan into motion. "Fine. Pull a crate of the drugs out of the truck and throw it in the back of the Porsche." At the questioning looks he received, he added. "It'll come in handy later. For now, we'll stash it at the Candy Store. Unhitch the load and park the cab in the underpass in Hines Street. I'll follow in the Porsche."  
  
"We'll follow in the Porsche," Deaq corrected even as he and Billie began to walk back to the truck.  
  
The plan that had begun in Van's mind wasn't so much detailed as driven. He knew the end result he wanted, maneuvering the game to that end was where uncertainty plagued him. If Cade suspected foul play for one instant, the Candy Store would find itself unmanned...forever. But no matter his doubts, Van knew this was the only route he had open to him. He would finally pay Cade Roberts back, fully... or die trying.  
  
*****************************  
  
Without his usual complaints, Van had agreed to let Deaq drive the Porsche while he rode shotgun.  
  
"So we let the drugs back with those two losers, to complete the deal Roberts made with 'em. But we stiffed them a crate of goods and confiscated their Porsche to cover the costs? Isn't Roberts gonna be pissed over the "unprofessionalism" of that transaction."  
  
"He won't care. They were bottom feeder buyers...buyers he only does business with when the goods are tainted."  
  
"Tainted? Like the feds had their meat hooks into them?"  
  
"Yeah, like I said, tainted," and Van gave Deaq a smile.  
  
"You gonna share your plan with us or do Billie and I just have to go into it dark," Deaq lightly pressed, sparing a glance from the road to his partner.  
  
"It's better if you stay out on the fringes on this one, Deaq." Van steadily met Deaq's sharp objective look. "You want this to work?" At Deaq's sarcastic "duh" look, Van continued, "Then let me play it through."  
  
Deaq wanted to protest further but something in Van's look told him it would be a waste of words. With begrudging acceptance he fell silent. After a few minutes he softly spoke. "I know your dad was doing jail time when this whole Roberts thing got it's start but didn't he wanna go after Roberts when he learned what he had done to you."  
  
Van's jaw clenched and he swallowed hard. Deaq would never see the real Raymond Ray, the Raymond Ray that was Van's father.  
  
At Van's silence, Deaq pressed, his voice gentle, "Come on, man. I'm trying to understand this whole thing. I feel like you and me aren't even on the same continent right now."  
  
With Deaq's appeal, Van drew in a deep breath and sat straighter in the seat before he focused on his partner. "By the time my father found out about my working off his debt, I was already clear of Roberts. And his reaction..." Van's eyes darkened, "he was pissed."  
  
"Yeah!" Deaq exclaimed in agreement. "That's what I'm talking about! I know he didn't just let Roberts get away with what he did to you!"  
  
A grimness entered Van's voice, "Deaq, my father wasn't pissed at Roberts."  
  
Deaq almost swerved off the road as his head swung around to face Van. "What!?!" disbelief and betrayal were thick in his voice.  
  
Van held his partner's eyes. "He was pissed at me. He said I had screwed up my one and only chance to run with the big dogs. A chance he wished to God he had had in life."  
  
It felt like someone died to Deaq. Like some bigger than life hero had died or worse, had turned out to be the villain...like he himself had turned out to be the villain. He had rooted for Ray Ray, had criticized Van for his treatment of his father, he had sided against Van time and again in the father son battles he was witness to. Shame darkened his soul. He had defended that bastard to Van.  
  
"Damn, Van...I'm sorry. I...I didn't see.."  
  
With a forced smirk, Van lightly countered, "No one does." At the hatred brewing in Deaq's eyes, Van found himself defending Ray Ray, "And he's not such a bad father..if you're interested in the criminal career choice, he'd back ya one hundred percent."  
  
"But he never backed you, did he?" anger coating Deaq's every word.  
  
To this Van shrugged, "I was strong enough to go it alone."  
  
Now Deaq was recalling the heated arguments he had witnessed between Ray Ray and Van in a new light. "He really wasn't proud of you when you joined the force...he was ashamed of you...and hurt by your decision."  
  
Van looked away, the pain of that fact still stung him.  
  
"And I sided with him against you," self hatred brimming in Deaq's voice. "I was so blind! I let his smooth charisma charm me into turning my back on you... on what you were saying about him. I'm sorry, Van. I'm sorry. I shoulda sided with you."  
  
To this, Van quietly excused Deaq's behavior. "He's a charming bastard, Deaq."  
  
"But I'm your partner! I shoulda stood beside ya!" Deaq protested angrily.  
  
Van turned his look to Deaq, "You did, Deaq. When it counted...always when it counted."  
  
But Deaq shook his head. "If I ever lay eyes on your father again, I'm gonna knock his teeth out."  
  
This got a smile out of Van. "You can try but let me tell you from experience...he's got a rock hard jaw, man."  
  
Deaq heard the lightness in Van's voice and glanced to his partner, surprised to see a smile light up Van's face. He let his own anger begin to fade as he too remembered the fight he had refereed between father and son. "Yeah, I was there Van. Your old man wouldn't go down easy."  
  
"Hardly at all," Van added, a light coming into his eyes.  
  
Deaq gave a snort at that, "Hard headed bastard, that one. Not so unlike his son."  
  
Van laughed, "Hey I told you we shoulda kept the gloves on when we boxed last month. But noooo, you wanted to play it real."  
  
"Well, you shoulda taken off your ring! You almost took out my eye!" Deaq complained easing back into their normal banter.  
  
"No, player, that was my *fist* that nearly took out your eye," Van corrected. "And I woulda taken off my ring except you shoved the glove on my hand before I could remove it. You were all hyped up to lose to me."  
  
"I was hyped up *to beat you*. And I woulda if Billie hadn't came back into the Candy Store and ordered us to stop."  
  
"She didn't order us to stop, she put money down on me. And that's when, all of a sudden, your eye started to hurt you too badly to continue."  
  
"You're such a lair," Deaq accused.  
  
"Takes one to know one," Van taunted back.  
  
But both men couldn't maintain their scowls and instead broke into light laughter. "I'm glad to have the old Van Ray back," Deaq announced, meeting Van's eyes with relief.  
  
"Even the Van Ray that never shuts up?" Van questioned with a smirk.  
  
"Yeah, even that one. I'm tired of holding conversations with myself."  
  
"And I bet they were stupid conversations unlike the intellectual conversations we engage in."  
  
"Yeah," Deaq snorted, "Like does Spider Man always wear his spidey suit under his clothing.."  
  
And that launched Van into a whole boatload of questions about the super powers of comic book heroes. And Deaq eagerly joined in, glad for the banter that Van was offering to him, even as he still recognized the dark look in Van's eyes. This was only a momentary relief in the horror that Van's life had become since Cade Roberts had made his appearance. And Deaq couldn't bear to think about the danger that Van would be walking into when he met up with Roberts in a few hours. He offered up a prayer for Van's safety before he countered Van's ridiculous statement that Wonder Woman was taller than Steve Trevor.  
  
TBC  
  
See no real cliffie here but I'm not making any promises about that being true for the rest of the chapters.  
  
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Cat: Thanks for your review! And sometimes even I wonder how they are getting out of the situations I put them into! Love to hear from you again!  
  
Bjp: Thank you so much for your compliments! And yes, last chapter was an unforgivably mean cliffie but see, I posted this chapter early! As for the Deaq and Van's friendship, I'm a sucker for friendship fics...like you couldn't guess. Glad you're enjoying the story so far. Keep telling me what you think!  
  
Fan4fastln: Sorry about your bad week. I can certainly relate. And do you notice those weeks go on forever!!!! But I have also found a little fanfic reading brightens my mood and sometimes I write some heavy duty angsty story and then I feel a little better about my life. I'm so glad you liked the humor last chapter...you inspired me to add some this chapter! I just wasn't sure if it come off well since they're in such a bad situation but that always seemed when the boys cranked up the light jabs at each other -(that was also one of my favorite things about the series!) And Never ask what else can happen to poor Van ...cause I got way too many ideas on that subject! Hope you're having a great week and that you like this chapter!  
  
Leann: Since I didn't want you to cry, here's the update sooner than usual! And you are sooooo smart! You guessed that Cade was "testing" Van. Fooling you is gonna take some real genius I can see that now. Love to hear what you thought of this chapter!  
  
Sirith: Secretly, I think I love being evil because I loved leaving you with that cliffie last chapter! (Evil indeed!) So how's the job going! I hope great! But remember everything new takes a little time getting use to but before you know it, you're the expert in town! Van angst, could we ever get enough of it!? (I doubt it!) Hope you get time to read and review!  
  
DKM: I'm jealous of your vacation!!! Sounds awesome!! I've been to AZ and I loved it!!! Thank you so much for believing I'm writing this true to the show!!!!! I try real hard because the show is what we all loved and wanted to continue and I try to make that happen for me and for anyone crazy enough to read my stories! You've given me a real great compliment and I think you! And since I didn't want you to start stalking me...I posted this chapter early...that and I couldn't wait to hear your review!  
  
Electricgurl: Thanks for the review! And I love writing cliffhangers...but I'm not so calm about reading them! As for Fastlane on DVD...I haven't heard anything. Way back when the show was on there were bootleg copies selling on Ebay but I haven't checked that avenue out for a while. If you missed some episodes, drop me an email and maybe I can help you track down some copies.  
  
Lynne: Glad you liked my crazy dialogue! When I wrote it, it felt like sometime that threesome would come up with. I'm pleased that I've got you intrigued about what else Van did for Roberts! Thank you so much for pointing out your fav lines!! As for your pep speech about critics, gosh you are so great!!!! Sign me up to be your friend. Thanks!!!!  
  
Ysabel: Medievel....I like that! I'm really happy you like Cade because it's so hard to create an original character that doesn't seem fake. But it's great to make 'em as mean and unscrupulous as you like and to have complete control over their every word and action. Glad you liked the audit line...I guess I couldn't resist since I had just finished during my tax returns! Hope you like this chapter! 


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 10  
  
Van looked at the house before him and fought off the shiver that went down his spine. It sickened him that he knew the layout of this house better than he knew any of the interiors of the houses he had lived in as a kid.  
  
Dragging in a steadying breath, he rang the doorbell to Roberts' house. Defeating the urge to pace, he waited still as a statue until the door opened to reveal one of Roberts' men from the club. With a jerk of the head, the man invited Van into the house.  
  
Like a good obedient dog, Van followed the man though the house to a door that Van knew led into Cade's study. The man swung open the door and Van forced himself to step into the study. Suddenly it felt like a perverted homecoming. Roberts hadn't even redecorated much in the eleven years since Van had graced the house.  
  
Cade sat behind the cherry wood desk, ruffling through a stack of paperwork. He looked up at Van's entrance. Straightening up in his chair, he studied Van in silence, the only sound in the room was the click, signaling the closing of the door behind Van.  
  
Van's eyes did not waver from Cade's. He would not quell under Cade's assessing gaze and he would not let the possibly nasty outcome to this meeting even enter his mind. He would take this meeting moment by moment and let his instincts guide him. They had kept him alive this long.  
  
"Phil said we came out ahead on the drugs." There was no wonder in Cade's voice, only acceptance. As if it were a sure thing he had betted upon.  
  
The only outward reaction this earned from Van was a darkening in his eyes. But inside, Van waited with a sinking heart for Cade to condemn him for the leader's death or to ask where the missing crate of drugs were. But Cade voiced neither concern.  
  
"So how did you get the drugs, Van?" he inquired, his eyes watching Van for signs of the lie he expected to be coming.  
  
"I cut a deal with the Feds," Van confessed without hesitation. There was a time to play Roberts ...and this wasn't it.  
  
No surprise showed in Cade's features, instead he nodded his head as if in confirmation of his own theory. "And what are the terms of this deal you made?"  
  
Emotionlessly, Van answered, "They want me to find out the location of your boss's warehouse."  
  
Cade was too surprised to hide his reaction. A choked laugh erupted from him. "They are setting their sights a little high! You tell them that?"  
  
"Did. Didn't do any good."  
  
"And, if for some strange reason, you fail to keep your side of this deal?" Pure curiosity drove Roberts now.  
  
Bracing himself to withstand Cade's pleased reaction, Van lightly answered with a put on smile, "I'll see the justice system from the other side."  
  
At this, a light of enjoyment entered Cade's eyes. "How do you like the *good guys* now, Van? They don't play the game much differently than we do."  
  
Van wanted to object to being lumped into a category with Cade but he let his better sense keep him quiet.  
  
Decisively, Cade stood up and came around the desk to Van. Wrapping his arm around Van's shoulders and ignoring the tight stance of the younger man, he leaned over to Van's ear. "Nice work with the drug deal this morning, Van. But it would have been more impressive if you did it without your two Candy Store cohorts."  
  
As his hope that Cade would be unaware of Deaq and Billie's involvement in the drug deal died, Van tried hard to remain unreadable. He looked straight ahead and countered, "Only a fool does not stack the odds in his favor." Then he turned to face Cade. "I'm no fool." His eyes blazing a challenge to Cade.  
  
But Cade did not offer a challenge or even malice. He offered something which was worse...his respect. "You never were a fool, kid." Then he began to head out of the room, his arm still lodged around Van ensuring that Van would match his pace. "Now let's put you back on the payroll...full time."  
  
  
  
********************  
  
Deaq was playing horse ...all by himself...on the Candy Store's basketball court trying hard to not think of Van...of where Van was...of Van's corpse being dumped somewhere. But as the ball missed the basket by a mile yet again, he let out a roar of frustration. "I can't take this!" he yelled turning to Billie's office.  
  
Billie looked up from her computer screen and beckoned Deaq into her office. "I know, this waiting is hard."  
  
"Hard?!" Deaq contradicted as he came to stand in front of Billie's desk. "It's stupid and dangerous! We should be backing Van up, making sure Roberts doesn't decide to kill him the second he lays eyes on him."  
  
"How, Deaq?" Billie demanded, her own frustration showing. "How do you want us to back 'em up? Hide in the bushes outside Roberts' house? Have Van wear a wire...and when Roberts finds it, we won't find enough of Van to id! You tell me how to back up Van and I'll do it!"  
  
"There's got to be something we can do, Billie! Van's out there risking his life ...for us! And I'm in here playing a game you need two players for and you're studying Roberts file like its hieroglyphics and you got a degree to read 'em. Except you don't!" Deaq raised voice echoed through the Candy Store.  
  
"Why don't you say what's on your mind, Deaq?" Billie challenged, coming to stand behind her desk.  
  
Glad for the prodding, Deaq let his words tumble from his mouth as his eyes seared into his boss's. "Alright. You think you can handle what I got to say than I'm down with saying my piece. Van's in this mess cause of you, cause you had to play big bad lieutenant. If you had backed off like Van practically begged ya to do, Roberts would have let Van walk."  
  
"That was a pipe dream and you know it! Roberts had no intention of letting Van slip through his fingers...again! No matter what I did, Roberts was going to work an angle to get Van back under his wing."  
  
"You keep telling yourself that so you can sleep tonight," Deaq snidely returned and began to walk out of Billie's office.  
  
"Why would he let Van walk Deaq? Why?" Billie questioned to Deaq's back.  
  
Deaq did not turn around to reply but his words reached Billie clearly. "'Cause no matter the history, no matter the bad blood, I think Cade Roberts likes and respects Van."  
  
"Deaq he put a icepick in Van's back!" Billie incredulously pointed out.  
  
At her words, Deaq turned around and met her look. "Him liking and respecting Van doesn't mean he wouldn't kill Van, Billie. It just means he might feel a tinge of regret doing it."  
  
In her heart, Billie knew Deaq was right on the money. "I screwed up, Deaq and I'm sorry. I'ld cut the deal with Roberts if I could. I'ld cut the deal with the Feds if I could. But I can't. All I can do it sit here and search for a weakness in Roberts and pray that Van's gonna survive this."  
  
Silence fell between them before Deaq lightly offered, "How about we play a game one on one? I'll give you a three point lead like Van always offers me."  
  
A forced smile came to Billie and she nodded her head as she stepped out of her shoes. "Except I'm not foolish enough to turn that offer down like you always do."  
  
********************  
  
In his career as a cop, Van had seen a lot of things that threatened to shrivel up his soul. But any veteran would tell you it was always the first of those experiences that scarred you the deepest. And Van's first experience with the depravity of mankind had happened right here, in the very room that Cade ushered him into now.  
  
Instantly Van couldn't breathe, couldn't force the oppressive weight off his chest that had slammed into him like a cold unearthly gush of wind as soon as the door to the room had opened. This room was his own personal hell. Here his soul had been condemned and shattered a thousand times over.  
  
It was a small room with lead walls that kept it cold and damp and sound proof. It boasted but one piece of furniture...a chair. And now it bore one occupant. A man Van guessed was a few years his senior sat handcuffed to the chair, pale and sweating. His eyes darkened further with fear at the sight of his two visitors.  
  
"Mr. Roberts, I know I screwed up but I can do right by you!" the man pleaded, his eyes darted between Cade and Van, fearing an attack from both visitors. "I can get the truck back, I can get the drugs back." He continued, sighting on Roberts who came to stand in front of him. "I'll break into the impound and take back your shipment."  
  
Van's stomach dropped to the ground as he realized the man before him had been the truck driver that Billie had pulled over for a heavy load. The truck driver who had allowed the mafia's drug shipment to be confiscated by the feds. With clarity, Van knew the driver's fate even if the man did not.  
  
Roberts bent down to be eye level with the truck driver, "Sorry Kenny, but Van here already retrieved the drugs and the truck for me. You got anything else to offer me? I need something to get you back in good standing. You understand that, right?" his voice soft, almost understanding, as if he too wanted to see Kenny get out of the situation he found himself in.  
  
Cringing, Van watched the light of hope enter Kenny's eyes. He was falling for Cade's head games. The poor idiot thought Cade gave a damn about his fate..that he was offering him a way out of his disgraceful debacle.   
  
Kenny was trying hard to field other ideas for his repentance. "I...I don't know what I can do to make this up to you but you tell me what to do and I'll do it."  
  
Cade nodded his head and adopted a look of contemplation. Then Cade looked to Van, "You got any ideas how to redeem poor Kenny here. I mean, after all, his predicament is really your fault."  
  
This earned Van Kenny's wide eyed look. A look Van could not meet for long. He was looking at a corpse...Kenny was the only one who didn't know that. And Cade was right, one hundred percent. Van had, albeit inadvertently, been the cause for Kenny's misfortunate happenstance...just like he would be responsible for his death.  
  
Meeting Cade's eyes, Van knew the other man was enjoying this situation, enjoying heaping more guilt on his head. It was the reason Cade had brought him to this little room of death and despair. "You don't believe in redemption," Van stated coldly. "Someone always has to pay the price owed."  
  
Satisfaction glimmered in Cade's eyes and Van felt his stomach turn. Pleasing Cade had not been his objective, not now...strange how the span of eleven years turned everything upside down.  
  
Cade refocused on Kenny, who had begun to tremble as he began to believe he would not leave this tiny room alive. "Van knows me well, Kenny. I don't believe in redemption...I believe in getting debts paid...in full. And you owe me a debt, no , actually it's worse than that. You owe my boss a debt." He let that sink in and let his face go still with menace. When he saw Kenny was nearing his emotional breaking point, Cade smiled and reached out and ruffled Kenny's hair, pretending to not notice how the man flinched away. "Lucky for you, Van already paid your debt with my boss. He got the drugs and the truck back."  
  
Relief swamped over Kenny's features and he slumped back into the chair with a deep sigh. But Van knew paying off a debt to Roberts would never be that easy. Yes, Kenny's debt with the mob might have been cleared but his debt with Roberts, his punishment for losing the shipment, that had not even begun to be paid.  
  
Desperation gripped Van and he strode to Cade's side. "He didn't betray you, Cade. He's still loyal to you." Van reasoned, earning him Cade's attention.   
  
Rising to his feet, Cade faced Van, "That's what you said about that nineteen year old kid...what was his name again? You know, the one I put in the desert to die and you called his daddy and told him where he was."  
  
A hard edge had entered Cade's voice and Van knew the sins of the past had not been forgotten or forgiven. "Kyle," Van supplied lowly.  
  
"Yeah, that was his name. You know his dad is still a driver for my boss. He's got honor, even if his son did not." And it almost felt like that slam was directed at Van, as if he were Cade's son, enduring a lecture on how disappointing he was to his father.  
  
This rubbed Van the wrong way. If he wanted this lecture he'd track down Ray Ray. "Honor? There is no honor in this business." Before his words had barely left his mouth, Cade's fist impacted with his left cheek, sending him stumbling to keep his feet. With fury blazing in his eyes, Van stood to his full height and faced Cade. "You and my father, you speak of honor, of being true to your word! But your version of honor or being true to your word, it's worthless...it only ever benefits you!"  
  
Cade's true temper started to be unleashed. "Without my honor, without my word, you'd be dead right now! You'd be dead and your cop friends would be dead! The *only* thing standing between you and that fate is me! I saved you when you were that scrawny kid and I'm saving you now!"  
  
"Saved me?! You condemned me!" Van shouted back.   
  
"We all do what we have to do to survive, Van!"   
  
Van stilled and then quietly said, "Maybe I shoulda chosen death instead of survival."  
  
This caught Cade by surprise. He knew he himself would do anything to survive. Anything. Cade pulled his gun and Van's heart thudded in his chest. But Cade did not sight the weapon on Van...he sighted it on Kenny.  
  
"No!" Van screamed and flew to stand between Cade's gun and the now pleading Kenny.  
  
With understanding but disappointment, Cade knew what drove Van...what had always driven Van. "But it's never really been about *your* survival, Van. At first it was about your parents' survival and then it was about Kyle's survival and Boyd's survival and your cop friends' survival and now this piece of crap's survival. You fight for their survival, not your own."  
  
Van swallowed hard. Cade had struck to his core. No lie could sway the truth Cade had uncovered...the root of all Van's weakness. Now Cade knew that weakness, maybe he had always known it but now Van could see the glimmer in his eyes that spoke of no mercy in exploiting that weakness.   
  
"Kenny's gonna die, Van. But you could stop it, you could pull your gun and kill me right here, right now. But you would be condemning your partner and lieutenant ...cause I'm still the only thing standing between them and my boss, who is not totally convinced the debt has been paid in full. But you do what you have to do, Van." And Cade cocked the gun, "It's Kenny's life for theirs. You decide who survives."  
  
"He doesn't deserve to die! Beat him, disfigure him, make him destitute for the rest of his life.... but don't kill him!" Van argued.  
  
Cade uncocked the gun and Van let relief seep into his mind but it was obliterated the next second when Cade pressed the gun into his hand.   
  
"I won't kill, Kenny. You will." And Cade's eyes held no mercy.  
  
The gun felt heavy in Van's hand, heavy and alien as if he had never held a gun before. Like that first time Cade had pressed a gun into his hands and ordered him to murder a man in this very same room eleven years ago.  
  
Van's eyes clouded with fear. This was always the line Cade drew in the sand. A line Van had tittered on the brink of but had never crossed.   
  
Cade softly counseled, "You're not that naïve kid anymore, Van. You've taken lives ....." then his tone turned malicious, "in the line of duty. For honor, for others survival. This is no different... it all comes down to Kenny's survival or Deaq and Billie's survival. Kill Kenny and I'll let your partner and boss walk away, clear of all debt to me and my boss. You don't kill Kenny and you'll be IDing two corpses in the morgue by dinnertime. So who are you going to murder, Van? Kenny or Deaq and Billie? Make your choice because you can't save them all, Van."   
  
TBC  
  
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Replies to reviews:  
  
Almarmentini:Hope you find this chapter more interesting than the last. As for Hilary, sorry to say she will not be making an appearance (I want to keep Van for myself-even if it is just in one of my crazy stories!) Love to hear what you think of this chapter. P.S.Thanks for the second review to get me motivated to post this chapter.  
  
Fan4fastln: Glad you liked the humor. As for Ray Ray, I don't doubt he loves Van, but getting Ray Ray's approval is another thing entirely. I think now he respects Van's career choice, but it seemed to be a breaking point for them previously. That left the door open for me to think he would have been more proud of Van if he picked a career on the other side of the law. Besides, painting Ray Ray this way allowed me to heap more angst onto Van which is always my primary goal. And as you guessed, I did have more unpleasantness in store for Van. Please drop me a review.   
  
DKM: Hope you're feeling better and I'm really glad my little story could cheer you up. Me personally, when I'm feeling sick or down, I always love reading/writing about characters who are suffering from major angst/illness/injury. (I think this falls under misery loves company) And I'm relieved you liked the fight scene. I always want them in my story but they are extremely hard for me to write. But writing the banter between Deaq and Van was pure joy. Maybe because they have arguments like I do with my best friend- we only discuss important things like movies, TV and men. It was a real pleasure to hear from you and I look forward to your next review.   
  
Electricgurl: Shame on me for posting this chapter a day late, especially when you begged me to hurry with the next post. Hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks for your encouragement; it really keeps me motivated on my writing. Sorry to hear about your lost eppies-you seem more understanding than I would have been in the same situation. I guess that's because I'm the baby of the family. Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.   
  
Leann: A big thank you for liking my portrayal of Ray Ray. I guess I always believed there were darker times between he and Van because Van actually walked away from him for seven years-Van who gives everyone a break. And I totally trust Van's instincts about Ray Ray. And I agree deadly serious Van is kinda hard to take in the episodes. You only got a glimpse of that side of him, but it is what drew me to his character. Actually, Peter is in a new movie on DVD called 'Stealing Time'. I haven't seen it yet because I need to remember him as Van only until I get this story done. Thanks again for your review and I hope you like this chapter.   
  
Sirith: I really appreciated that you email me your review since ff.net was misbehaving!!! And as you note this is not getting posted on time...whoops! I'm pleased that you like my convos because they are my favorite thing to write, and I loved the show's conversations. So it's a real honor that you believe these convos fit the characters. As you can tell, Van is getting absolutely no breaks in this chapter....this story and I'ld feel guilty if it didn't make me feel so good!! Please drop me a review anyway you can!   
  
Now for those still with us, I'll tell you the bad news. Next weeks post will be late because I'm on vacation. Sorry! (Yes I'm a chicken for posting this way down at the bottom) Thanks for all who read and reviewed.   
  
Cheryl W 


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Author's Notes: Well, the good news is this is a longer chapter. I thought it only fair since I made you wait such a long time for it. For all of you hoping I'll just finish this story soon, well, I think it'll be done in another two chapters! So please hang in there!   
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 11  
  
The world had somehow grinded to a halt for Van as Cade's words echoed through his head, '..who are you going to murder, Van? Kenny or Deaq and Billie? Make your choice because you can't save them all, Van.' Nothing else mattered but this moment, this decision. They say every man has a defining moment in his life, but Van had always argued that he had more than his share of defining moments...and this was yet another one, the one that would irrevocably set his fate in stone.   
  
He raised his eyes from the gun in his hand to Cade's cold blue eyes and fought the urge to do the one thing he swore he would never do again...beg the man before him for mercy. And maybe he would have succumbed to that urge, maybe he would have again become the puppet Cade wanted him to be...if he didn't remember clearly the cold way Cade had looked at Boyd's lifeless body in his arms. This man knew no mercy, had no morality, no pity.   
  
Faced with the knowledge that he could not avoid the choice Cade now forced upon him, Van turned around and looked at Kenny. Kenny began to cry in earnest now, gut wrenching sobs that shook his frame. The man was a criminal, he did Cade's every bidding no matter the horrific task, his life was not worth Deaq's or Billie's or even that of a stranger's upon the street. Taking his life now was just saving the Feds a bullet later. But no matter the logic, Van could not raise the gun in his trembling hand to Kenny's temple. He could not commit murder...not even to save Deaq and Billie. He would not become the monster Cade was.  
  
Now with his decision made, Van turned to Cade and defiantly stated, "I'm not a murderer, Cade. If I was...you'd be died." And he shoved the gun back into Cade's hand and headed for the door. He jerked to a halt as the sound of a gunshot reverberated throughout the small room. But he did not turn around, not even when he heard the chair fall over and a body drop to the ground. For a moment, he clamped his eyes shut, willing his anger, his despair, his guilt to not overtake him. Then, having controlled his emotions, he wrenched the door open and began to stalk down the hallway, desperate to leave the house, to warn Deaq and Billie of the danger they were in.  
  
But he hadn't gotten but a few steps before a hand snagged unto his arm jerking him around an instant before he was slammed harshly against the wall. Agony erupted from his wound but it didn't match his fury.   
  
Cade wrapped has hand around Van's throat, pinning the younger man to the wall. "You think you're so righteous don't you, Van!" Cade snarled, leaning more brutally against Van. "You think no blood is staining your hands!?! You think just because you didn't pull the trigger that you didn't get that man killed!"  
  
Van tried to push Cade back and had marginal success only to be slammed with more force than before into the wall. His legs started to fold under him at the agony but Cade's grip on his throat kept him standing. Cade delivered a punch to Van's stomach and threw the younger man to the floor.   
  
Before Van could push air through his tortured body and think about moving, a knee jabbed into his back, pinning him painfully against the floor. Marshalling his strength, Van tried to roll and topple Cade from his back but the older man cruelly put down Van's revolt.  
  
A chocked scream of pain erupted from Van as Cade brutally dug his fingers into Van's wound. As Cade pressed harder on the wound, Van's flagging strength abandoned him, leaving Van spent on the floor, his cry of pain the only response he was capable of exerting. When Cade pulled his hand back from the wound, Van swallowed his mounting scream but he did not move, he could not move. For a moment, only his labored breathing broke the quiet between the two men.  
  
If he had owned an ounce of strength, Van would have flinched as Cade's hand lightly touched his hair but, as it was, he endured it without outward reaction. Cade's voice was reflective even regretful, "I always thought of you as a son, Van. You had potential, no enthusiasm, but potential. Whereas Boyd, he had all enthusiasm but no potential. I thought he'd rub off on you."  
  
Through his labored breath, Van wheezed out, his eyes straight ahead, never seeking out the sight of the man that sat on the floor at his side, "That's why you kept him around as long as you did? Hoping his enthusiasm would rub off on me."  
  
"Partly. And partly because he was another weakness of yours, a leverage I could hold over you."   
  
Van found the strength to tinge his words with bitterness and turned his head to meet Cade's gaze, "He was just another game piece to you, to throw away when it was most advantageous."  
  
Anger sparked in Cade's eyes. "I *threw* him away to save you, Van!"  
  
Van growled, "I didn't ask you to save me!" and he tried to push himself off the ground but his arms refused to support him in the endeavor. In defeat, he resettled onto the ground without having truly left it, but with increased agony again singing along his nerves.  
  
"No, you had too much pride to ask to be saved. At least too much to ask help from me," Cade watched Van's face contort in emotional pain before Van turned his head away from Cade's callous inspection. "But McNar, you had no problem asking him to *save you*."  
  
Every time Van thought of Teddy McNar his stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to get physically sick. He still remembered kneeling over McNar, his hand pressed against the bullet hole in McNar's chest while blood surged between his fingers. And he would never forget McNar's last words, 'I screwed up, Van. I screwed up bad.'  
  
"And McNar saved you," Cade calmly continued, "rescued you from your debt with me."   
  
Van took note that Cade did not say McNar had *paid* his debt only *rescued* him from it. Cade never said anything carelessly.  
  
Without warning Cade's hand shot out and gripped Van's chin and turned Van's face to him, forcing the younger man's eyes to meet his. "And how did you thank him, Van?" his voice low and deadly. When Van did not respond, Cade pressed his thumb on Van's wound causing another moan of pain from Van. "Tell me. I suppose Ray Ray paid him back the money but how did it end between you and McNar. What was his ultimate *reward* for saving you?! What was it Van?!" he demanded, though Van knew Cade already knew the answer, only wanted Van to say it.   
  
When Cade put more pressure on his wound, Van rasped out, "Death. I got 'em killed!"  
  
A grim smile emerged onto Cade's face, "Yes, I heard Van *Strummer* bad mouthed his paper...got him killed by Nick Selgato. Bullet to the chest. Someone even said you were there. Did McNar curse you with his last breath, Van? Did you tell you how he wished he had never saved you from me..that you were the reason he was dying, you and that damn badge you're so proud of? Or did he leave this world thinking you were still such a good boy? Someone he thought of as a son? Someone he was glad he pulled from my clutches?"  
  
A sob began to crawl up Van's throat and he fought to dislodge it.  
  
"McNar died because of you, Van. His blood's on your hands."  
  
Hadn't Ray Ray said the same thing to him?! But somehow it hurt more coming from Cade. Ray Ray's prospective had been hued by emotions which meant it carried less weight. But no one could accuse Cade of that fault, of letting his emotions blind him. And the really sucky thing was, Cade was rarely wrong when it came to placing blame.   
  
"You're a murderer already, Van. You murdered McNar, a man that risked his own soul to save you. And how many people did you watch die in that room?" and Cade pointed behind him to the room that now held the corpse of Kenny. "True, they didn't die by your hand but they weren't saved by your hand either...just like those poor bastards we dropped in the ocean screaming and begging or the ones we left to die in the desert. Their blood is on your hands, Van. And you can't wash it off by putting on a badge."  
  
Van clamped his eyes shut, wishing he could shut out Cade's words, could deny the truth of Cade's words.   
  
Cade watched Van's anguish in silence for a moment before he stood up and looked down at Van. "My boss doesn't care about Billie or Deaq," he paused dramatically, "He never did. He doesn't make things personal."  
  
Van breathed out, "You bastard," and opened his eyes but did not settle his look on Cade. He jumped when Cade gripped his arm.   
  
"Get up," Cade ordered quietly, and he began to help Van to his feet.   
  
To Van's shame, he was too weak to resist the aid. But as soon as he was on his feet, he pulled from Cade's touch only to stumble back into the wall. By the strength of his will alone, he remained standing and looked to the man he hated most in the world.  
  
Cade offered Van a smirk. "And killing your friends doesn't seem to benefit me in any way. At least not now. Besides, I've learned that it's never good to use all your leverage in one shot."   
  
Loathing entered Van's voice, "This has all been some game to you. Why!? What do you want from me?!"  
  
Cade tilted his head as if Van had just asked a ridiculous question, a question with an obvious answer. "Well, your debt paid, of course."  
  
Desperation ripped through Van's frayed nerves. "How much?! How much do you want! What's the interest on fifty large for eleven years?"  
  
"Did you forget? McNar paid me my fifty large." Cade stepped closer to Van and seared his look into the younger man. "I'm talking about your *personal* debt to me."  
  
Van leaned more heavily against the wall, and forced the words past his constricted throat. "What *personal* debt?"  
  
"I taught you a trade, Van. I let you inside my world, a world very few get invited into. I showed you mercy time and time again. How can a man pay back something like that?" Cade quietly said, without rancor but with steeliness in his eyes.  
  
Suddenly Van found it hard to breathe. This was the debt he always knew Cade would collect on, this was the debt he could never hope to satisfy in the man's eyes. This was the one debt no one could pay for him. He repeated quietly, calmly, "What do you want from me, Cade?"  
  
"You to come back to work for me, for real. Turn in your badge, walk away from the candy store and work your way up the ranks of my organization. Be the man I groomed you to be. Make me proud, make your father proud."  
  
In a dead voice Van questioned, "If I agree, you'll leave Billie and Deaq alone..forever."  
  
"You play this thing straight, you put away your badge..forever and I won't lay a finger on them. You have my word."  
  
**************************************************  
  
In a daze, Van left Cade's house and drove through the streets. But now reality came sharply into focus as he arrived at his destination. A destination he had not mapped out but had been drawn to. Ignoring the reawakened agony of his wound, he climbed from the car and stood facing the building in front of him, forcing breath through his constricted throat.   
  
It was in this building that Teddy McNar had died, had died because of Van, of his job. Here McNar had bitterly reaped the benefits of saving Van from Cade Roberts.  
  
Clenching his jaw against the emotions that threaten to break him, Van tried the door and to his surprise and regret, it opened. Sucking in a breath, Van stepped into the building and found a light switch to the right. Suddenly the room's darkness abated and light lit up the deepest crevices of the room.   
  
The room was changed since that day when Van had knelt by McNar's body. Gone was the manufacturing equipment, in it's place were stacks of boxes marked "Sammy's Salsa Sauce." But Van did not need the absent machines in place to guide him to where McNar had lain on the floor, breathing his last breath. Unerringly, Van walked between a row of boxes to the spot he would never forget.   
  
There was no bloodstains on the concrete but in Van's mind's eye, he could see the puddle of blood again spreading upon the floor. Cade's words returned to him, 'McNar died because of you, Van. His blood's on your hands.' Suddenly Van could not deny the words any longer, could not abate his own feelings of guilt.   
  
Sinking to his knees, Van gave an anguished cry of despair and remorse and hopelessness. With shaking hands, he touched the cold concrete where Teddy had died. A sob tore from Van, a sob that he had held since Teddy's death, a sob he had held since this whole Cade nightmare had invaded his life again. The sob was followed by another and another until his emotional barriers had been obliterated in the flow of his despair. It was all his fault, Boyd's death, Teddy's death, the jeopardy Deaq and Billie now faced. And he could no longer bear the weight of his guilt.  
  
When his sobs finally shuttered to a halt, a calmness fell upon him as he pulled his gun from his waist. There was one solution to all his problems. A solution that he thought he would never seek, a solution reserved for cowards. Decisively, he chambered a round in the gun. He studied the gun in his hand with detachment, it's cold steel a familiar friend in his hand, so unlike the way Cade's gun had felt in his grasp today.   
  
But an inner struggle waged inside him. He wanted it all to stop, the pain, the guilt, the hopelessness and the future he faced working for Cade. One bullet would stop it. Forever. But without prompting, he remembered what McNar had said eleven years ago when Van's shame at having had worked for Cade Roberts had overshadowed any joy life had to offer. "I don't know what Roberts had you do, Van. And I don't need to know. What I do know is, you don't have to be that person anymore. You can change, you can be the person you want to be, the type of person *you* would be proud to be. There's always a path to redemption...to happiness as long as you're still breathing." And Teddy's words had stayed in Van's heart and he had put them into practice when he joined the police force.   
  
Redemption. Cade Roberts didn't believe in it. Was he right? Or was Teddy McNar right? But hadn't Van already been convinced that McNar had been right, that redemption could be had...in fact had been his these years he had been a cop? For every wrong he had done in Cade's employ, he had countered if with an act of righteousness during his time as a cop. When the full tally was taken, he knew he had helped more people than he could count as a cop...far more than he had hurt while working for Cade. And what was more, it repaired his soul to help others. Maybe he had not found the true path to redeem his soul yet but he had found a way to redeem his own self respect. He had become a person he was proud to be, the person Teddy McNar had urged him to be. Truly McNar had risked his life to rescue Van from Cade's clutches so that Van could have the chance for redemption, for happiness, a change to become the person he was today, to become the cop...even the cop who had unintentionally gotten him killed. How could Van throw that redemption away when it had ended up coming at such a high price?  
  
Resolutely, Van ejected the bullet from his gun. He would cling to the redemption he had been afforded. He would put faith into his future and dare to hope that happiness would come again to him.  
  
Putting his gun back in his waist, Van tenderly touched the cold cement in memory of a man he had loved dearly and stood to his feet. "You've saved me again, Teddy," he softly said to the empty warehouse and then he walked out into the bright sunlight.  
  
Leaning against his car, he tried to marshal together a plan. He could not bear to heap more condemnation upon his soul...he could not work for Cade Roberts no matter the consequences to himself. However, the trick would be to restrict the consequences of his actions to himself, to firmly put Deaq and Billie in the clear and to keep them in the clear. Once he had helped a nineteen year old boy escape death at the hands of Roberts' sadistic games, and that he had accomplished at the age of sixteen. It should be a piece of cake to protect Deaq and Billie from Roberts now that he was a man, a cop... but it would take a little more than a simple phone call to a boy's father.  
  
"Or would it?" Van spoke aloud as his thoughts sprang a plan into his head. Pulling his phone from his pocket he tried hard to remember a number from eleven years ago, a number that had allowed a father to save his son, a number that now had the possibility to save Van's friends from a similar fate at Cade Roberts' hands. As he struggled to remember the number, the past resurfaced in his memories and he vividly recalled Kyle Delpercio's fateful drive to the desert.  
  
****************************************  
  
Kyle Delpercio had been dumped into the trunk of Roberts' Mercedes like a bag of fertilizer. Van had cringed when Cade slammed the trunk closed, condemning Kyle to a darkness that Van did not want to envision. It was not the first time the sixteen year old Van had witnessed one of Cade's associates treated to such a ride but this time was personal. This time Van knew the boy in that trunk, knew that the *crime* he had committed against Cade was no crime but simply a curse of fate.  
  
Kyle's father was a regular driver for Cade's boss and when Kyle wanted in the business, he had aimed a little lower on the food chain, setting his sights on a driving position with Cade. Cade had given him the job without hesitation, but now, three weeks into his work, Kyle's truck had been hijacked. Cade didn't believe for a second that the nineteen year old Kyle was involved but it did not lessen his wrath at the boy. And with his usual cold heartedness, Cade had sentenced Kyle to his own version of the death sentence: abandonment out in the desert with no hope of reaching water or help before death would claim him.   
  
Van had tried to sway Cade's judgment, but his words were not heeded. In fact, Cade had delivered a sharp smack to Van's face and demanded, 'Someone's gotta pay his debt, you want it to be you. You ready to die, Van? For him, for his stupidity, for his gutlessness?' To that, Van had said nothing. He pitied Kyle his fate but he did not want to share in it.  
  
But during the long drive to the desert, guilt ate at Van. Maybe some of the other people Cade had sentenced to this type of death had been guilty of disloyalty, of failure, of stupidity but Kyle, he was guilty only of the naiveté of youth. A naiveté Van had been harshly stripped of during the first month of his employ with Cade.   
  
By the time the Mercedes had crossed the desert, using no trail but the gift of global positioning to reach its destination, Van felt sick, sick like he had become that first time he had watched Cade Roberts murder a man in that small room in his house. Numbly he got out of the car and watched as Kyle was pulled from the trunk and when Kyle fell to his knees because his legs had fallen asleep in that cramped quarters of the trunk, he was dragged ruthlessly to the spot where a single small white cross stuck out of the dirt.  
  
Van could still remember the way Kyle had looked up at the ring of five people who stood before him, blinking against the sunlight, already covered in sweat due in no small part to the high humidity of the day and his ride in the trunk. His eyes flickered past Cade and his two thugs and landed on Boyd and Van, his terror and desperation unmasked.  
  
"This pays your debt, Kyle. I'll tell your father we are squared away," Cade granted without a smile. Then Cade nodded to his two men and they headed back to the car. Suddenly, Kyle knew exactly how he was to pay his debt.   
  
"No! Please!" and he tried to climb to his feet but his legs would not do his bidding, leaving him kneeling on the ground.  
  
Dispassionately, Cade had ordered of Van, "Untie him, Van and let's go." And then he turned his back on Kyle, leaving him into the hands of nature's own cruel justice system.  
  
Pulling out his pocketknife, Van crouched in front of Kyle and began to cut the ropes that bound the teenager's hands.  
  
"Please don't leave me here, Van!" Kyle begged, his terror almost tangible but the boy did not cry. No, he faced the fate before him with more strength than Van had seen in the three other men Cade had abandoned to the desert. "I don't want to die! I didn't betray him!"   
  
When Van's knife cut through the last twine of the rope, Kyle grabbed Van's hands and the sixteen year old's eyes met the eye's of the boy who was only his senior by three years. With a voice remarkable steady and quiet, Kyle appealed, "Help me. Call my father at 555-6831, tell him where to find me. Don't let me die out here, Van. Please. Please."  
  
Van gave no response to Kyle's pleading and slid his hands from the other boy's grasp. He stood to his feet but could not force himself to tear his look away from Kyle's upturned face. Kyle's pleading eyes flickered to Boyd, but the fifteen year old gave a smirk of satisfaction that eerily reminded Kyle of Roberts before he nonchalantly turned his back on Kyle and walked to the car.  
  
Resettling his look on Van, Kyle quietly said, "You are not like them, Van. You are no murderer. Call my father. 555-6831. If you don't, you will have killed me yourself."  
  
Without a word, Van had turned and walked away from Kyle. Kyle said nothing, offered no more pleas or words of condemnation. He had no need to. What he had said were the only words that could sway Van and he knew it. His life now rested solely in the hand of the sixteen year old Van.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Breaking from his memories, Van concentrated on the phone number he now remembered. But he found that he could not shut out the rest of Kyle's words. With clarity, Van knew Kyle had spoken the truth, if Van had not called Kyle's father, he would have been guilty of killing Kyle...just as he was partly to blame for Kenny's death today and as well as all those others that he had watched Cade kill.  
  
Redemption. He had given it to Kyle only to have condemned Boyd. For every action there was a reaction. For every decision there was a consequence. But Cade did not play fair. He did not lay the consequences to the ones who deserved them but instead he twisted them to his own sick means. Van could not...would not let him do that this time.   
  
Dialing Kyle's father's number, Van prayed that the number had not changed in the past eleven years. A man's voice answered the phone with a "hello" to which Van replied, "Is this Mr. Delpercio?"  
  
"Yeah, That's me."  
  
Relief and hesitation zinged through Van. All his plans centered around Kyle's father's willingness to help him. "Hello, Mr. Delpercio this is Van Ray. You might not remember me but.."  
  
But Mr. Delperchio cut in with warmth, "I remember you Van. How could I forget you?!. You saved the life of my son."  
  
Uncomfortable with the role of hero in this man's eyes, Van stammered, "Yeah...well, all I did was call you. You were the one who saved him."  
  
Mr. Delpercio denied Van's humility, "No, son. You saved Kyle...and I know it cost that other boy his life. I'm sorry. I'm sorry he lost his life..."  
  
Van swallowed hard, and clamped his eyes shut and could only choke out, "I'm sorry too."  
  
A pause fell between them before Van got up the nerve to ask the favor he needed of the man. "I know I have absolutely no right to ask... but I need your help."  
  
Without hesitation, Mr. Delpercio countered, "I will do whatever you need me to. I can not say no. I love my son very much and owe you everything."  
  
"Don't...I ...Kyle didn't deserve to die. Cade was wrong. You have every right to turn me down cold."  
  
"Van, ask your favor," Mr. Delpercio gently prodded.  
  
Van sighed, "I need to know the location of Roberts' warehouse and when Roberts shows up there to do his inspection of the inventory."  
  
A heavy silence fell for a moment before the other man spoke again. "I know what you risked to save my son. You know what I risk in telling you this."  
  
"Yes but I won't implicate you in any way. I'll keep you safe," Van promised.  
  
"19 Waterstreet Avenue and Roberts will be there tomorrow at 3pm sharp," came over the line firmly. "I don't know what you are planning but the warehouse is guarded...heavily."  
  
"Thank you. You've saved my life, Mr. Delpercio."   
  
But sorrow coated the other man's voice as he contradicted, "Why do I think that's a lie. I think I've just gotten you killed."  
  
The man's perceptiveness threw Van a curse ball and it took him a moment before he could answer...truthfully. "This is what I want, what I need to save some of my friends. You've repaid back any debt you felt you or Kyle owed me."   
  
"Kyle still talks about you Van. You're the best man he's ever known. Don't get yourself killed. I don't want to tell Kyle I was a part of that."  
  
"I'll try my best, Mr. Delpercio. Goodbye." And Van clicked off his phone.   
  
**********************************************  
  
Van walked into the Candy Store and couldn't help letting a small smile creep unto his face as he watched his partner and boss engage in a game of one on one basketball. Billie's height was a true disadvantage and Deaq was exploiting it to the max by tauntingly standing still and raising the ball above his head as Billie tried to jump for it. Van saw Billie's expression darkened and he almost called out a warning to Deaq but instead let the scene unfold.  
  
Deaq was holy unprepared for Billie's fist to impact with his stomach. Doubling over with a groan, the basketball slipped from his hold and Billie snagged it midair and tossed it threw the hoop.  
  
Van clapped and earned the startled attention of his coworkers. Their game forgotten, they both crossed to his side wearing identical worried looks.   
  
"You were supposed to call in an hour ago!" Billie reprimanded but Van could see it was her concern for him that initiated her words.  
  
"You OK?" Deaq questioned softly, reaching out and tilting Van's head to the side so he could better see the bruise on his partner's too pale face.  
  
"I'm fine," Van denied, pulling back from Deaq's touch but Deaq grabbed Van's arm, halting Van's retreat.  
  
"Van, my grandmother looked better in her casket than you do right now," Deaq sallied back. "What the hell did Roberts do to you?!"  
  
"Set the ground rules."   
  
Warily Billie asked, "And they are?"  
  
Van met Billie's eyes steadily. "I go back into his business legit and he'll stay clear of you and Deaq."  
  
But before all his words were out, Billie was shaking her head and her eyes were glittering with steely resolve. "No deal. He's not getting you back, Van. That's non negotiable."  
  
"Everything's negotiable, Billie," Van countered.  
  
"Not this," and he could see she believed that wholly.  
  
Deaq had watched the interaction between Van and Billie in silence, studying Van for what the man would not say. Now he spoke up, "But you got a play to make, don't you Van? You're going to make one last ditch effort to take down Roberts before you hand over your soul to your reaper for good."  
  
Van's eyes met Deaq's and the connection that had sparked between them since the start of their partnership clicked on and they were again of one mind. Deaq smiled and he and Van said together "Let's take the bastard down," as their fists connected in a sign of agreement.  
  
Billie's fist joined Deaq and Van's. "I'm in."  
  
"Alright, player, you're gonna lay it out for us.." Deaq began but before Van could agree Deaq added a condition to his request, "*after* we take a look at your back."  
  
With a tone almost bordering on a whine, Van protested, "I said it was fine."  
  
"Yeah, I know 'cause pros play hurt," Deaq sallied back with sarcastic reprimand. "If you're so fine, then show me your back," and he stepped behind Van but Van spun around to face his partner.  
  
"I already got a mother, Deaq. I don't need another," Van shot back.  
  
Billie cut in, "Well, she's not here so..." both men's eyes swung to her, ready for her to finish her sentence, self-consciously she altered the ending, "so Deaq's filling in."  
  
"Funny," Deaq gave a fake smile and resettled his look on Van. "Put up or shut up, Van."  
  
For a moment a silent stare down ensued but seeing that Deaq was not going to back down, Van gave in without grace, "Fine, play Dr. Welby," and he swung around offering his back to Deaq.   
  
Gently Deaq lifted up Van's leather coat but he had no need to pull up Van's shirt to determine how Van's wound was faring. He could see the blood seeping through the shirt. Curses flew from Deaq and Van didn't know if they were directed at him or Cade. He didn't bother to try and sugarcoat the ripped stitches. Truth was, he was in some serious pain...Cade had seen to that.  
  
At Deaq's reaction, Billie had come around and viewed the wound. But she took it a step further and lifted Van's shirt to reveal the blood soaked bandage. "I don't think I need to tell you that you ripped out some of your stitches."  
  
"Guessed that," Van replied abandoning his denials.  
  
"Roberts did this, didn't he?" Deaq's voice could have cut diamonds.  
  
"We had a little disagreement," Van quietly supplied.  
  
"About?" Billie prompted as she crossed over to the first aid kit in the corner, and began to pull out supplies. In the mean time, Deaq steered Van to a plush backless chair and pushed him down into it's depths.   
  
Van had not answered Billie's question by the time she returned and she asked again as she removed Van's soaked bandage and ran an antiseptic cloth over the bleeding wound, "Had a disagreement about what Van?"   
  
Flinching at the sting of the antiseptic, Van hissed in reaction before he spoke. "About me putting a lick shot into the truck driver you side lined the other night."  
  
Billie's hands froze in their work and Deaq claimed a seat on the couch in shock.  
  
Sensing he had captured the attention of his audience, Van continued, not meeting Deaq's eyes but letting the floor tile occupy his focus. "Cade wanted me to...and I didn't want to. Funny how eleven years goes by and we still have the same arguments."  
  
When Billie began again to tend to his wound, Van felt some comfort that she did not recoil from him after all. He looked up to meet Deaq's eyes and found no censure there either only anguish.  
  
"Say it all, man," Deaq gently prompted. "Billie and me are real good listeners."  
  
Deaq made it sound so easy. Say it all. But Deaq had no idea what it all was, what it had cost Van, how long Van had kept these secrets buried in his soul.  
  
Billie's softly encouraged as she reapplied the bandage and came around to face Van, "We aren't going to judge you, Van. You've been there for me and for Deaq when we needed you. How about you let us return the favor?"  
  
Looking at the faces of the two people who knew him the best, Van nodded his head and finally unburdened his soul.  
  
"At first, all Cade wanted from me was to score a car, collect a debt, run some swag 'round town." Van hung his head a moment and ran his hand through his hair before he again met Deaq's eyes. "But then one day things turned hard core. He took me and this other kid, Boyd, down to a room in his house. And we get in there and Cade's got this guy handcuffed to a chair and the guy's been worked over real good. His mother wouldna recognized him, that's how bad off he was."  
  
Van stopped here, knowing he was almost to the point of rambling or diving into another story so he wouldn't have to finish this one. But this was one story he couldn't bear to keep locked up anymore. It hurt too badly. All his stories involving Cade hurt too damn badly.  
  
Taking a steadying breath, he looked to Billie, "Cade gave me a gun and told me to kill the guy."  
  
Whatever they had envisioned of Van's time with Cade, Deaq nor Billie had guessed at the depths of the horror Van had faced.   
  
"But I wouldn't do it," Van continued, "so Cade shot him in the head to show me how easy it was. And he made Boyd and I dig a grave for the body in the desert." Van averted his eyes from Deaq and Billie. "That was just the start of it. I...I don't know how many men I watched Cade interrogate and kill in that room, or how many graves I dug. He said he wanted Boyd and me to be strong, to see that keeping what you had in life was about strength and respect and not letting your emotions dictate your actions."  
  
At first only silence fell in the room, Deaq and Billie did not know what words to offer to Van. Then Deaq offered, "Ah, Van, hell...I .. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry." This earned him Van's eye contact again.  
  
But Van was shaking his head, "I don't deserve your pity, Deaq! I stood there and watched those men get murdered! I dug their graves! But that...hell, that's not the worst of it." And Van stood up and turned his back on his friends, "We took people out to the desert, dropped them off in the middle of nowhere, left them out there to die. And some we took out to the ocean...near a reef that is inhabited by sharks..." here he stopped, his emotions choking off his words. "And I did nothing!"  
  
"Van, you were a kid!" Billie defended, "Cade Roberts is with the mafia! Disobeying him was only going to get you killed!"  
  
Van swiped at the tears that trickled down his face and turned to face his friends' again. "I did disobey him...once. He put a nineteen year old kid out in the desert because the kid had the misfortune of being the driver of a truck that got hijacked. And I..I almost let him die, I knew the boy and I still almost chose my life over his." Van sank down unto the chair again, "But I chose to save him.. I called his father and told him where he was."  
  
Deaq dreaded the answer even as he asked the question, "And Roberts found out, didn't he?"  
  
Van nodded his head, "Yeah. He knew it was me but ...." Van swallowed hard, uncertain if he could get the words out.  
  
Billie laid her hand on Van's knee, "Just take your time, Van."  
  
Closing his eyes, Van tried to control his emotions. When he opened his eyes, Deaq was shocked at the despair he saw in their depths. "He killed Boyd instead of me...made Boyd pay the price for my betrayal."  
  
Billie cursed bitterly, surged to her feet and began to pace while Deaq's rage boiled under the surface.  
  
"Cade said he did me a favor... he killed Boyd instead of me...cause he thought of me as a son," disgust dripped from Van's words.  
  
"Sick bastard!" Deaq exploded. "To hell with a plan!" and he pulled his gun from his waist and chambered a round. He gained his feet but suddenly Van stood in front of him, blocking his place.  
  
"That's what he wants, Deaq! He wants me...us... to turn into him, to become a butcher like him. But that ain't gonna happen! We are better than him, Deaq," After a moment, Van saw Deaq smother down his fury and he felt relief rush through him. They were too close to their goal to let their emotions trip them up.  
  
"No matter what, he ain't walking away this time," Deaq promised lowly but he put his gun back in his waist.  
  
A malicious smile spread on Van's face, "No, he ain't walking clear of this one. He wants me to repay him for teaching me his trade....I'm gonna pay that debt: fully. The student's about to become the teacher."  
  
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TBC  
  
See no cliffie and the plot's actually getting somewhere! (I think) . This chapter was a real struggle to write and I'm trying to fine tune the plot so I'ld really appreciate any encouragement anyone has to offer.  
  
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DKM: Well there was no divine intervention to save Van from his decision but he survived the situation...only to be tortured more by Cade. I just couldn't see Van murdering anyone...his soul's just too good to do that. He's a fighter...even when he's on his last leg he still manages to come up swinging. I couldn't portray him any other way. Glad you're inspired to write! As for me going strong...well I almost wrote myself into a corner with this plot but then I negotiated some points and came back swinging like Van would expect of me. Did you like this chapter? Was Van's decision/reaction credible? Can you see where things are heading with taking down Roberts? I just seem a little flighty with the plot and I'm hoping I'm not screwing up this story. Drop me a line of what you thing.  
  
Fan4fastln: For the record, I always have something evil in store for Van! (He's so cute when he's in pain/anguish) I liked your "Raymond Ray and Son counterfeiting" thought. Oh I definitely agree Ray's first choice for Van would have been his own trade. Father's love when their sons decide to follow in their footsteps. (Makes me so glad to be a girl and not have that pressure.) Thanks for forgiving me for leaving you hanging while I skipped off for Vacation...(It was great by the way). So how do you think this chapter was? I'm a little worried that it's lost its edge?  
  
Lynne: I'm sorry about your family crisis. I hope things are better now. Glad you like Deaq chewing out Billie...some people are true Billie fan's and I worried that they would resent that argument. But truly she was out of line with her actions...especially since Van had asked her to stay clear. Ah what you do out of friendship! And yes, Cade is a quicksilver bastard. He might have a soft spot for Van but let's face it, it ain't that soft. Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!  
  
Alma Rates: Uh oh...so you read some of my other stories. Now I'm kinda embarrassed. It's almost like you finding out my "true identity*. But thanks so much for checking out my other stories and I'm curious to know which ones you looked at? And I'm glad you didn't want Van to kill Kenny...I wasn't sure how the vote would go with everyone. But as for me, I don't believe Van's a murderer...no matter the situation. And he's strong enough to make his own decisions and bear their consequences. Drop me a review!  
  
Crazyk: Thanks for reading and reviewing my story!!! I'm flattered that I have you on the edge of your seat! Hope I didn't lose that edge this chapter? And I think this story should wrap up in about two chapters so please stay tuned and drop me a review.  
  
Leann: Sorry to disappoint you but my computer automatically capitalizes your "L" in your name. (I'm as lazy as you are!) Yes, it truly sucks to be Van. He's had to make a lot of hard decisions and even though he contemplated checking out..he's too much of a fighter to give up. Cade will seriously regret trying to collect Van's debt! Serves him right!! So how did this chapter compare with the others?   
  
Mady Bay: So glad you're still tuning in! And I just couldn't resist putting Van into a hard position of decision. In life sometimes, there are no good choices but you still gotta chose...like Van did. Please keep reading and review! I love to hear from you.  
  
Electricgurl: Well, here's another long chapter for you! Hope you liked! And this chapter didn't even end in a cliffie! And yes, I am evil ...and I enjoy that power very much...especially since there are no repercussions...(but only because my readers can't track me down). So what did you think of this chapter?   
  
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Thanks for everyone who read this chapter and for those who reviewed last chapter!!! Have a great day!!  
  
Cheryl W. 


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 12  
  
"I upheld my side of the deal," Van gruffly greeted Cade as he walked into Club 9 carrying the case of drug laced liquor bottles he had "confiscated". "Badge is gone, I'm outta the candy store and, as one of your terms, I'm returning the drugs I "looted". Indelicately, Van sat the case onto the nearest table.  
  
An assessing look met his declaration, "If you're playing me, Van, you'll be shark bait."  
  
To this Van bitterly replied, "I got no play to make..you saw to that personally."  
  
A smug smile flipped up Cade's lips, "Yeah, yeah I did." Then he reached out and ruffled Van's hair, "Come on, kid. There's work to be done."  
  
Van bore the touch without reaction but inside he reeled from the contact. Did the bastard actually think he'd play Beaver to his Ward? If he did, that delusion would be ash by tonight. Van fought the smile that wanted to emerge on his face. Paying this debt was gonna feel so good, he thought as he began to follow Cade into the office.  
  
At the door, Cade turned to one of his men, "Handle the crate with care." To which the man nodded even as he picked up the case of liquor bottles and headed for the door. Van watched the man's departure for a moment, before he entered the office as Cade had done moments prior.  
  
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"Ringa ding ding, there's our wandering thing," Deaq sing songed as he caught sight of the crate in the arms of one of Roberts over muscled employees. Billie gave no reply but watched as the crate was put into a trunk of a Mercedes.  
  
Billie started the mini van that was parked a block away from Club 9, "Now all we have to do is let him lead us to Roberts' special stash."  
  
"I can't believe Roberts is ballsy enough to skim from the mafia!" Deaq commented with disbelief.   
  
"Let's just hope he takes the bait and pockets the crate Van gave back," Billie replied. She waited until the Mercedes had made it two blocks down the street then she pulled the van into traffic.  
  
Deaq's eyes did not stray from the Mercedes. "Man like Roberts, he takes what he can get...all he can get. He won't miss this golden opportunity for more loot."  
  
Blending in with traffic yet keeping a steady eye on the Mercedes, Billie seemed born to do a tail. "We need to know where Roberts keeps the stuff he skims from the mafia...if we screw this up, if we lose this guy, Van's not gonna have an out."  
  
"I know," Deaq's voice dropped with worry and resignation. "The Feds taking down Roberts warehouse, that ain't gonna keep Roberts from the street for longer than it takes him to dial his lawyer. Can't believe the Feds can't see that!"  
  
"You're forgetting, they wanted Roberts' boss's warehouse shut down. There's going to be hell to pay when they find we duped them," Billie spared a look to Deaq.  
  
"It'll be worth it long as Van's free of Roberts when the smoke clears."  
  
"Deaq, I'm..." Billie began but it was Deaq who supplied the word she hated to utter.  
  
"Scared for Van?" For an instant their eyes met and they knew the same fear ran through them both. "Me, too."  
  
There seemed nothing more for them to say. It felt like everything was on line this time. If things went sideways, if one thing didn't happen the way they predicted, Van would pay the consequences...forever.  
  
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Undercover work was not for the faint hearted. He had known that going into it. Hell, his life wasn't for the faint hearted. But Cade always pushed the boundaries and now was no exception. "Hit 'em again," Cade ordered and without outward hesistation, Van punched the middle aged restaurant owner in the stomach and across the cheek, sending the man to the floor, bleeding.  
  
Cade bent down to the hurting man, "I want my money, Patrick. Now. I don't want any more excuses."  
  
The man panted out " I have some of it."  
  
Casually Cade motioned forward with his hand and Van obeyed his unspoken command and kicked Patrick solidly in the stomach.   
  
Tsking, Cade watched the man writhe in pain. "Maybe we'll only torture *half* of your daughter. She'll be home from school at 3, right?"   
  
At that the man's panicked eyes met Cade, "No, please! I'll pay you..take whatever you want ...take my restaurant!"  
  
Van watched in disgust as Cade toyed with the man and let his eyes look about the restaurant as if he was considering the trade. "Seems like you get high end customers...:"  
  
"Yeah, Yeah we do. You would make your money back quickly."  
  
But to this Cade raised his eyebrow, "Really." Viciously he grabbed onto Patrick's hair, "If this is such a cash cow..where's my money, Patrick!"  
  
"Invested...invested back into the restaurant!" Patrick stuttered back, pain evident in his voice.   
  
"Well, you're gonna uninvest it...today." Decisively Cade released his grip on Patrick and stood up. Turning to Van he questioned, "So, what kind of fire coverage is required on a building of this size? Enough to allow Patrick to recoup his investment?"  
  
"You know, I bet he'll rake in enough to pay off his whole debt to you," Van said, forcing a smile onto his face but hating each word he spoke.  
  
Cade smiled genuinely, feeling like he had gotten back the boy he had began to shape all those years ago. "I think Van's right, Patrick." Cade focused on Patrick, who was staring up at the two men who were calmly deciding his fate, "We're going to cut out your broker on this deal."  
  
Van pulled a lighter from his pocket, "Hope you kept your fire insurance current." With a flick of his thumb, a flame ignited in the lighter. "You wanna live, keep low and crawl for the door." And then Van crossed over to bar, leaned over the counter and pulled out a bottle of tequila. Taking a generous swig from the bottle, Van shot a ruthless smile to Cade before tossing the bottle carelessly behind the bar, followed closely by his lit lighter.  
  
The sound of the shattering bottle was overshadowed by the crack and flash of the flame that shot up from the floor. Van stumbled back as the heat of the flame slammed into him like a vicious wave. Before he could move further away, the flame spread to the other liquor bottles and an explosion tore through the bar counter, knocking Van to his feet.  
  
Stunned and hurting, Van lay upon the ground and had the fleeting thought that maybe wasn't gonna live long enough to see Cade's expression when the day played itself out. But Ray Ray's words came to him, 'the best part of screwing someone is them knowing you screwed them.' He suddenly agreed with his father, checking out now wasn't an option, not when he was so close to paying Cade back for the hell he had made of his life. He opened his eyes and almost recoiled as his first sight was of Cade.  
  
"Come on Van. Time to go." Cade said as he wrapped his arm around Van's waist and pulled the younger man to his feet. Stumbling under the weight of the other man, Cade made for the exit.  
  
"The owner..." Van questioned, trying to turn around to see if the man was still laying on the floor.  
  
But a chuckle answered his question. "Guy was out of the restaurant before the bottle ever hit the ground. Gutless bastard," Cade answered with good humor.  
  
Cade maneuvered Van out the door and to the Corvette. To Van's surprise, Cade opened the passenger door and eased him into the seat before closing the door and crossing to the driver's side. Moments later Cade was driving away like it was a Sunday in the country.  
  
Van reached a hand up to his aching head and wasn't so much surprised as frustrated to find blood seeping from a cut.   
  
"Played that a little close, didn't ya, Van?" Cade reprimanded lightly.  
  
Turning to Cade, Van couldn't find the words to reply. Cade-the-bastard he could deal with, Cade-the father-wanna-be, he was always the one Van couldn't handle. It proved that no matter how bad a person was, there lingered in them, sometimes way down deep, something redeemable, no matter how small. And Cade had that, way down, almost too small to name but it was there. And that was what Van saw in every perp he came across...and wished he did not. That little grain of goodness did not make up for the evil but it always gave Van pause in dealing out justice. A pause that had, more than once, almost cost him his life. A pause he could not suffer with Cade, not if he wanted to live, if he wanted Billie and Deaq to live.   
  
When Van's reply was silence, Cade continued, "You always had style and guts, Van. I knew that the first time I saw you."  
  
"Why? Cause I didn't drop to me knees and beg you to let my father's debt go?" Van replied, his eyes glinted with bitterness as he looked to Cade  
  
Cade spared him a quick glance and in that look Van knew Cade had kept more from him...again. "That day at your house, that wasn't the first time I saw you Van. When I agreed to do business with your father I checked out his family. Your mother posed no threat but you, you were the wild card."  
  
Van's eyes telegraphed his shock, "You spied on me?! On my mom?!"  
  
Laughter was Cade's answer at first. "For an undercover cop you're awful sensitive Van."  
  
At that cut, Van turned his focus to the outside world but his jaw clenched.  
  
Watching Van in fascination for a moment, Cade finally finished the story he had begun. "I saw you take on a gang at the beach. There were seven guys, all bigger than you but you went in swinging...they beat the crap out of you but you just wouldn't stay down. You wouldn't quit." Admiration hued Cade's words and Van felt ashamed that he felt some kind of appreciation for it.  
  
Quietly he supplied, "But I did quit."  
  
"Yeah," and Cade's voice held anger, "after they slammed a surf board into your head."  
  
Van winced at the memory. That time he had ended up in the emergency room. "And from that clip from fight club, you decided to take me under your wing?" Van looked to Cade and the other man's eyes held his as they sat stopped at a red light. "Ray Ray's arrest played right into your hands."  
  
But Cade smirked at that, like it was a joke he alone knew.  
  
The truth slammed into Van like a freight train. "You dropped the dime on Ray Ray, you put him away so you could blackmail me into being your little student," his voice filled with disbelief and anger.  
  
Cade spared a smile to Van before he put the car back into motion. "I wanted the counterfeit bills from your dad...but I wanted someone worthy to mentor more. By that time, I had come to realize Boyd was never going to be the man I needed him to be."  
  
In that instant, Van's resolve to stay the good little student bled away. "You never gave Boyd the chance to be a man! And why the hell didn't you just pick a ho to have a son to! Someone who'ld have your blood, that could carry on your family line!"  
  
No anger marked Cade's outward appearance or his tone of voice. "Roberts isn't my real name, and bloodlines can let you down. No, choosing a kid already showing what he was made of was always my plan. Set enough in his ways to determine the man he could be but moldable enough to turn into the man I wanted him to be."  
  
Not for the first time, Van felt sick. It had been so easy to lay the blame for this whole Roberts fiasco in his father's lap but now that delusion was gone. It had been about him from almost the start...and even Ray Ray had to pay a price...four years in lockdown. He choked out, "Why'd you have to do this? Why'd you have to make everyone pay for what you wanted? Why didn't you just ask me straight out if I wanted to learn your trade...Ray Ray woulda let you have me."  
  
But Cade shook his head and turned a small knowing smile on Van. "Couldn't, Van. Ray Ray would have given you to me but you would have fought me every step. It had to be your decision or I would never have broken you."  
  
Van's head shot up and he eyes were huge with disbelief and shock, "You think you broke me?"  
  
"The first second you walked into my house and said you'd work off your father's debt, you were broken Van. And there was no going back...ever. You didn't know that then but you know it now. Even when you wore that badge, you knew I still had some of your soul that you couldn't reclaim. I call that broken, don't you?"  
  
Rage and sorrow ripped through Van but he could not offer up any denials. Cade was right, a piece of him was missing, a piece he could not get back, a piece that, in truth, was too soiled for him to want back. And the sad thing was, there was more pieces in his soul that Van wanted to cut out...every part that had been touched by Cade Roberts. Not for the first time, Van wished he could commit murder. He ached to pull his gun and put a bullet in his personal 'reaper'.   
  
Gruffly Van bit out, "You woulda got farther playing the father card 'stead of the bastard card, Cade. All this got you was my hatred."  
  
"I'm not too worried. Ray Ray has your hatred," Cade's eyes flickered to Van, "but he also has your love. You're complicated but compassionate, Van. You never let things stay black and white, you always cross over into the grey."  
  
"There's no grey between us, Cade."  
  
"No? How about that look you gave me when I helped you out of the restaurant today? How about the small sense of joy you feel when I tell you I respect you, that I'm proud of you?"  
  
"Damn you!" Van shouted, hating that Cade could read all his traitorous emotions. "You can't make any of this right!"  
  
"I got what I wanted Van. You back working for me. I don't give a damn how you "feel" about me."  
  
"Liar." Cade's eyes flew to Van's in shock as the word hung between them. "You're so starved for the love of a son you're blinded to everything else. What happened to never show need, fear, loyalty or love!? You recruited a cop! What would your boss say if he knew this whole thing was about your need for a son!"  
  
"You're not my weakness, Van. I proved that to you when we met in Club 9, when I shoved that ice pick into your back."  
  
"But I didn't die...and that's when it all started to unravel for you. You figured if I died, then it wasn't meant to be but when I pulled through...it was like a green light. And you haven't relinquished your hold on me since then or the fantasy that I'll play the dutiful son for you."  
  
"You will play it Van, or .."  
  
"What? More blackmail? You'll hurt my friends! You're hooked, Cade. You want this so badly that you'll put up with anything I do to keep the dream alive."  
  
Cade's response was a harsh low statement that Van did not doubt the truth of. "You're wrong, Van. You step out of line, you edge back toward your old life, I will drop you into the ocean and I won't look back, ever."  
  
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Billie put the mini van into park and she and Deaq watched as the crate was carried into a warehouse downtown.   
  
Deaq turned to Billie. "Guess it's time to drop the dime on Roberts." And a huge smile lit up his face.  
  
"You want to do the honors, don't you?" Billie questioned to which Deaq gave a vigorous nod of his head. "Fine but stress to the Feds that *both* warehouses get hit at 4:30. Both and not a minute before 4:30."  
  
"Relax, Billie. I heard Van real well. Roberts will be at *this*" and he pointed to the warehouse they sat before "warehouse at 4:30 and we want the Feds to arrest him *here* surrounded by his personal swag."  
  
"Fine, call it in," Billie allowed but added a moment later, "And tell the Feds to *not* shoot Van if he's with Roberts." She checked her watch. 3pm. If things were going as planned, Van would be inspecting the other warehouse with Cade right that minute. But worry coursed through her, if they misjudged Cade's routine..if he didn't show at this other warehouse by 4:30 today..if Cade somehow slipped through the Feds's hands...She broke off those thoughts and reverently prayed, 'Please let us pull this off. Please keep Van safe.'   
  
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Van trailed behind Cade through the warehouse at 19 Waterstreet Avenue, numb to his surroundings. He did not marvel at the amount of drugs or swag that filled the warehouse space or scowl at the precise records that were maintained on the inventory. The IRS would applaud Roberts bookkeeping...if they could overlook the tax evasion issue. Nor did he try to take in the faces of the workers to determine if he knew them from when he worked for Roberts before.  
  
'..when he worked for Roberts before..' the thought betrayed him. No matter how he twisted it, deep down he knew he was working for Roberts, for real, right here and now. He was Cade's property just like the swag that littered the floor of this building. He was inventoried and a price tag was attached to his soul. Sure, he was trying to claw his way out but the hole he was in seemed like the Grand Canyon.   
  
When Cade entered an office, Van followed along and claimed a chair in the room, dispassionately watching Cade briefly look over the books before he signed off on the forms the manager held. To the naïve it seemed like a finely tuned *legal* machine. Checks and balances in place, forms completed in duplicate, employees eager to please the supervisor. You could almost forget that lives had been taken to fill this warehouse with it's goods, and that souls would be destroyed by the drugs that now sat neatly cataloged on shelves ready for sale.  
  
'And I helped create this machine, I made sure it ran along smoothly and I never once tried to shut it down. Not even when I put on that badge.' Van's jaw clenched at the truth of his thoughts. No, he had been too terrified of Cade to even think of taking him on. He had walked away from this life and he never looked back...until now. Redemption suddenly felt beyond his grasp again, now that the scope of his sins was slapping him in the face. Today Roberts would pay bitterly for his sins. But with a sense of dread, Van also began to believe that he too would finally bear the punishment for his cowardice.   
  
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For the millionth time, Deaq checked his watch then resighted his intense gaze onto the warehouse. It was 4:25 and still there was no sign of Roberts. Maybe he had made the Feds parked outside the other warehouse, maybe he had learned of Van's pending betrayal, maybe he was right now pulling Van from the trunk of his car and dumping him out in the desert or maybe he had voted on the ocean as Van's final resting place.  
  
He jumped when Billie spoke, "You're fidgeting around like Van, Deaq." There was no reprimand in her voice but instead she tried to lighten the dark mood that permeated the minivan.  
  
Fixing his gaze on his boss, Deaq sighed, "I know, I just can't take this waiting! We should be watching Van not this warehouse!"  
  
"Roberts would be looking out for that. He's not about to trust Van just because Van says he's flipped," her voice gentle, though Deaq's thoughts were not contrary to her own.  
  
Deaq turned again to watch the warehouse but like Van on so many stakeouts, he found he couldn't let silence stand. "When I got that call about Dre," he quietly began, not pulling his look from the warehouse, "it was like a part of me died with him. Almost too big a part ya know."  
  
Billie watched Deaq but did not know what to say. As it turned out, Deaq didn't give her a chance to offer empty words about understanding how he felt.  
  
"The only thing that kept me going was the drive to take out his killer. But when I stood there with Dre's killer in my sights, itching to pull the trigger...it was Van who yanked me back from that brink, who kept yelling 'don't do it'. I was about to step down when Cassidy pulled the trigger."  
  
Deaq swung his look to Billie. "Van was there for me then and he's been there for me every day since. No matter how piss poorly I've treated him, he's never turned his back on me. Not once. Where the hell have I been when he's needed me? I'll tell you where, MIA.   
  
"Deaq, you're not seeing things clearly," Billie began but Deaq cut her off.  
  
Bitterly Deaq disagreed, "Yeah? Where was I when Roberts tried to kill him in Club 9 or when he got the crap beat outta him, or now when he could be getting a lick shot to the skull?"  
  
"We're playing this the way Van told us to."  
  
"Well this plan sucks! He's taking all the risks! If this goes sideways..." Deaq broke off unable to finish his thoughts aloud and turned his look to the other warehouses that surrounded the block. After a moment he again met Billie's eyes, "I lost Dre but I'm not losing Van, Billie. I lost one brother but I'm not losing another."  
  
Billie opened her mouth to reply but the appearance of Cade Roberts' car silenced her. Relief and tension sang through Billie and Deaq as they watched Van climb from the Corvette. Van was alive and unharmed and apparently Cade was trusting him full on but now this put Van right in the middle of a bust that was sure to be anything but low-key.  
  
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Cade had said 'one more stop' when they left the other warehouse but Van had not truly believed that Cade would trust him with his heavily guarded secret. Not again.   
  
As Cade pulled the Corvette to a stop in front of a warehouse, Van saw that Roberts' private pilfering was paying off... large. This warehouse was three times the size of the small shack like building Cade had shown Van eleven years ago.. hours after he had ruthlessly killed Boyd.  
  
"Looks like you stopped thinking small," Van sallied as he exited the car.  
  
Cade smiled as if Van had given him a compliment. "I learned there was enough to go around...so I took a bigger cut. Come on," he beckoned and he entered the warehouse.  
  
Van obediently followed Cade, forcing himself to not scan for any signs of the Feds as he let the door close behind him. The scope of Cade's operation took his breath away. It almost rivaled the "legit" warehouse in volume. He turned to Cade and hated the grin that lit up the other man's face.  
  
"You want a slice of this, Van? This is the life your father always wanted for you."  
  
The truth of the statement made Van look away from Cade.   
  
Cade put a hand onto Van's shoulder and when Van still did not face him, he gently grasped Van's chin and forced the man to meet his eyes. "A father wants a better life for his son than he has."  
  
"You're not my father, Cade," Van evenly said, and stepped away from Cade and began to inspect the warehouse on his own.  
  
Soon Cade matched Van's stride. "You'll come around."  
  
"Don't hold your breath on that one."  
  
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It was time. Deaq rechecked his gun for the third time in the last five minutes, gave Billie a worried look and then they both exited the minivan following hard on the heels of the Feds that were already flocking to the warehouse.  
  
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There was no warning. One moment Van was walking down an aisle flanked by Cade and the next, everything went to hell. Simultaneously, the warehouse lights went out, casting the warehouse's inner depths into shadow that the sunlight from the windows above could not pierce, glass shattered, smoke bombs littered the ground their fumes already billowing into the air and "FBI: Get on the floor now!" echoed through the building.  
  
Instantly, Van dropped to a crouch and reached for the gun in his waist band. A gun pressed against his temple stopped his motions. Fury blazed in Cade Roberts eyes as he crouched down level with Van, cocking the gun he brutally pressed into the cop's forehead. "You set this up?!"  
  
Without hesitation, Van replied, "Damn straight I did."  
  
Ruthlessly, Cade grabbed a handful of Van's hair and pulled the man closer. "I would have given you everything!"  
  
"Give! You only know how to take Cade! It's time you paid off your own debts,"   
  
Van snarled.  
  
Suddenly the sound of gunfire erupted all around them. Van took the momentary distraction and made a grab for Cade's gun. Dislodging the barrel from his temple and forcing it to point to the ceiling, Van was not prepared for agony to erupt into his thigh. He had forgotten about Cade's other hand, the one that moments prior had been trying to rip his hair from his scalp..And even more unforgivable, he had stupidly forgotten about Cade's favorite weapon, his damn ice pick!  
  
In his pain, Van's grip on the gun loosed just enough for Cade to wrestle it from his grasp. Before he could worry about getting a lick shot, the gun barrel slammed against his temple and the world went black.  
  
*******************  
  
Casualties were high...on the side of Cade's employees. The good guys had come through mostly unscathed but there was one major set back. When the Feds checked their catch, Cade Roberts was not in their nets.  
  
"Van? Where's Van?!" Billie demanded of the thin, red haired agent in charge of the bust.  
  
"Van?" the man asked with a distracted look of confusion.  
  
"Officer Van Ray!" Deaq yelled, his reign on his emotion at their end after finding Van was not in the warehouse. "You know, the guy you blackmailed into snitching for you!"  
  
The agent gave an uncaring shrug, "Hell if I know. Maybe he decided to bail out his "father figure" at the last minute."  
  
Deaq's punch sent the agent slamming into a crate and then tumbling to the floor. Approaching the downed man with rage glistening in his eyes, Deaq was not going to give way until he had knocked every tooth from the other man's mouth.   
  
"Stop!" Billie ordered, stepping in front of Deaq and gripping his shirt to get his attention. "We need to find Van, now!"  
  
At Van's name, Deaq's rage was swept away by gut wrenching fear. "Roberts will kill him, Billie."  
  
"But he hasn't yet. We've still got time."  
  
"Time! We got no time! We had time but we blew it on this damn revenge plot!"  
  
Shaking her head, Billie denied, "Cade will want to punish Van. He won't make his death quick."  
  
"You trying to cheer me up?!" Deaq exclaimed, yanking from her grasp and stalking down the aisle of the warehouse.  
  
Billie snagged onto his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Cade will take Van to one of two places."  
  
"The desert or the ocean."  
  
"Right."   
  
"But we don't know which one or even where either location is at. Van never gave specifics. Sharks and a white cross...that ain't enough to go on, Billie."  
  
Billie fought down a sigh of desperation. "It's all we got. So pick it, Ocean or Desert."  
  
For a moment Deaq said nothing but when he finally answered his tone was unflinchingly sure, "Ocean."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause with the ocean, Cade can watch." Deaq bitterly surmised. Billie did not dispute his logic but her jaw tightened at it.  
  
Breaking into a run, they exited the warehouse. Billie began to make for the minivan but Deaq grabbed her arm and steered her to the Corvette. "We need something with some speed." By the time Billie had claimed the passenger seat and closed the door, Deaq had hotwired the car and put it into motion.  
  
"This is bad, Billie," Deaq lowly said, his eyes never leaving the road he was eating up at over 100 mph. "Real bad."  
  
"I know," Billie choked out, trying hard to not let her mind conjure up images of Van's possible fate.   
  
When Deaq spoke again, Billie winched at the torment in his tone, "If ...if Van doesn't make it...don't get in my way. I'ld hate to have to go through you to get to Roberts ...but I'ld do it."  
  
"If things go that way, I'll take Roberts out if you don't."  
  
Deaq spared a look to Billie and saw the same resolve in her eyes that burned within him. If Van did not survive to take down his reaper, they would take him down for him. Brutally and with finality.  
  
TBC  
  
One more chapter to go!   
  
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Replies to Reviews:  
  
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Bjp: Me? Have class?! That's something I've never been attributed with before! Thanks! Glad you liked seeing another part of Van. With the series we only got glimpsing of the many facets he had so this has been great fun *creating* his past and his reactions to different situations. Writing sure bets reality! Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and the upcoming finale.  
  
DKM: There is no way I can tell you how much I appreciated your support of my writing and belief that I could get published!! Now getting published, that would be a dream come true. Well, now back to the story. I was so relieved that you liked where I took Van and consequently the story last chapter! I really felt like I was going out on a limb when I had Van contemplating suicide. But I just always felt that the guilt of McNar's death weighed heavily on him and he never truly gave himself a chance to deal with it and then to add the whole Cade guilt ...it seemed too much for even a hero to bear. And so you saw the events of this chapter coming huh? Well, I was going to do this intricate plot but even I was getting confused with it so I simplified it. Hopefully I didn't make it too simple! Glad you're back to writing and I totally understand that writer's block syndrome that pulls you down into a black hole. To think, we write to feel better and yet, when it doesn't flow, it makes us feel worse then before we started a story? These hobbies can be murder! So how's this chapter? Any guessing on the events of next chapter?  
  
Fan4fastln: I love the idea of redemption. (Doesn't everyone!) If felt right to have Van seeking for that after his experiences with Cade. And I'm so pleased you liked last chapter best because it was the one I thought people might not like or think I was out of character with Van's actions. And since I love sap, I try not to miss my opportunity to put in a nice fluffy scene between Deaq, Van and Billie. It was what I loved about the show...the way they could care about each other and not hide it. And sadly, Cade did not get what he deserves this chapter but I always like to save the best for last.  
  
Cat: Thanks for dropping me a review! And I'm glad each chapter's drawing you in more to the story. Sometimes I worry that I got off track! Hope you tune in for the conclusion and of course send me a review!  
  
Alma Rates: I appreciate your support and encouragement to post faster!! (I know, I didn't listen about the posting faster thing but that doesn't mean it didn't make me "want" to post faster!) Thank you for your wonder compliments on my writing!! When I think about not posting another word, a wonderful review like yours keeps me taking the risk of posting yet again. Drop me a review!  
  
Leann: I'ld like to think you would like chapter 11 even if you didn't read it 7am on a Sunday...but that's just my ego talking. I'm glad you appreciated all the torture I put Van through ..I know he didn't appreciate it one bit. But then, he has little say in the matter! This chapter Van had a good dose of angst and a smidge of pain. Did I do good?  
  
Electricgurl: Hope you didn't get caught by your teacher reading my story! I know it's really hard not to slip on the internet at work and check out the stories I'm reading now but my luck, my boss would sneak up behind me. Glad you liked Van's breakdown in the warehouse where McNar died. I just thought there was more to tell on that topic for Van. I know you're off watching your newly rediscover eps of Fastlane but I hope you take a break and read and review this chapter!  
  
Mady Bay: I like that "chocked full of angst"! That's what I've been going after! Writing angst always makes me feel better. And as you read in this chapter Van did go after the bad guy but sometimes that's not so easily done as Van is finding out the hard way. Loved to hear from you again!  
  
Born to Fire: Thanks for the review! And yes, Van should have run away...in chapter 1. But alas, I've kept him in my clutches and have tortured him every chance I could. Poor beautiful man! Hope you like the rest of the story!  
  
Sirith: I had you on the edge of your seat?!?! I love that!!! And I think Fastlane fics are sadly lacking in number and length!!! I'm stunned that my in the longest one you're read...but I do tend to get very wordy. You can shut me up but you can't get me to stop typing!?!? And yes, I continue to torture poor sweet Van and sadly I love every moment of it! For all his tenderness, Van's got a real strong spirit and I always loved to watch him under pressure. And boy have I put him under pressure. Drop me a review!   
  
Fairy-mills: Thanks for the review and the compliment!! Sadly, I did not update fast but at least I updated! Hope to hear from you again!  
  
Crazyk: Thank you for appreciating my writing/plot efforts and your welcome. I love to please! Hope you like this chapter and the finale chapter!  
  
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Thank you to every single person who has taken the time to read this chapter and a HUGE thank you to everyone who does me the honor of telling me their thoughts on this chapter.   
  
Cheryl W. 


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Paying Old Debts  
  
Author: Cheryl W.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.   
  
Author's Notes: Well, here it is. The last chapter. I really hope you like it!!  
  
Replies to reviews at bottom  
  
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Chapter 13  
  
A roller coaster motion jarred Van from the depths of unconsciousness. Once again, agony was his welcoming party back into the land of the living. Only one thought broke through his fuzzy mind: Cade. Determined to know the man's fate and consequently, his own, Van pried open his eyes. Wincing at the light that seemed to take the pain in his head to a whole new unheard of level, he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Blinking hard to shift things into focus, he let his brain assimilate the sight before him. A fishing rod, that was what lay inches from his face and beyond that was a yellow life preserver.   
  
With horror, Van knew where he was, why he felt like he was bouncing on a road under construction. He wasn't in a car bound for the desert...it was worse than that. Much worse. He was in a boat, bounding over the rough waves of the ocean. 'No!', silently screamed through his mind. This was the one fate he didn't want, the one fate he feared the most. And Cade knew that.  
  
Van's eyes sought out Cade. He found the man standing only a few feet from him, deftly steering the boat, wind ripping through his hair, his jaw clenched tightly. When he began to move in an attempt to get off the floor where he lay, Van noticed for the first time that his hands were bound in front him with fishing line. In desperation, he tried to slide his hands from the line but the tackle only dug deeper into the flesh of his wrists.  
  
Sensing motion behind him, Cade spared a look down at Van. "That line's strong enough to haul in a marlin, Van." Van's eyes shot up to Cade's in defiance. Seeing Van's determination he jeered, "But you want to feel like you've got an out, you keep struggling like you are."  
  
Having decided for himself that he wasn't going to free his hands, Van gave up on the endeavor and instead tried to push himself to a sitting position. The action caused two sharp pains to flame through him: one generated from his head and the other from his leg. A moan escaped him and he looked down at his thigh. Blood still seeped from the fresh wound and his pant leg was already blood stained down to his knee.   
  
Pushing past the pain, Van maneuvered himself to a seated position but dizziness swamped him and he wearily leaned his shoulder against the back wall of the boat. He watched Cade as the man captained the boat, his eyes again watching the boat's path. With a truthfulness he didn't appreciate, Van knew that he was at Cade's mercy. Bound and hurt as he was, he couldn't put up enough of a struggle to prevent Cade from taking his revenge. "How did you get out of the warehouse?" he asked, his voice rough with pain.  
  
Without turning around, Cade answered, loudly enough to be heard over the wind, "Underground tunnel. Runs right under the warehouse."  
  
"Which is why you chose that warehouse." Van stated more than guessed.  
  
"Always leave yourself an out. I taught you that." Cade swung his look again to Van. "You got an out from this, Van?"  
  
Van did not answer and Cade again turned his attention to his driving.  
  
Uncertain how long he had been unconscious, Van could not even hazard a guess at how close they were to their destination. All he knew was it was already too damn close. Memories slammed into his mind...memories of the others that had met the fate that Cade had in store for him. He would never forget their deaths...how brutally and inhumanly they had died. Out of all the ways he envisioned dying, this was the death he feared the most. With clarity born from the knowledge that his own mortality was about to flicker out, he knew why he had stood silent for so many years. Why he had never tried to take on his personal reaper. Fear. Gut wrenching fear that Cade would treat him to this type of death.   
  
And that fear did not abate even when he put on that cop badge, because he knew, first hand, that a badge could not protect him against Cade's evil. Just like he knew bars could not hold the man, not with his money and connections. It was truly a sick twist of fate that had brought him back into Roberts' life. A twist even the conniving Cade Roberts had not seen coming. Sometimes fate sucked.  
  
Now fate was sending Van to his death, the worst kind of death. For a moment, fear washed out every other thought he had and he swore to himself that he would do anything, anything to be spared, no matter the cost. But at that pledge, he closed his eyes in shame. Some costs were too high to pay. It was true that Cade had stolen some of his soul but if he begged him now, if he bartered for his life...Cade would own his soul, wholly and forever.   
  
That thought was like a slap to Van's face, breaking him free of the fear that would have destroyed him from the inside out. With grim determination, he squashed his debilitating fear and reopened his eyes to glare at Cade's back. If he was going to die today, he'ld go out fighting. The truth was, Cade had already lost to him...Cade just didn't know it yet.   
  
'It sucks that I won't be around to gloat,' Van told himself with regret but then he put that feeling also aside. All he had was the here and the now. He would get no more out of this life. It all wound down to a final boat ride, a farewell gaze of the sea and then he'd feel the bite of sharks' teeth tearing through his flesh. He wondered if he would have the fortitude to stifle his screams, to deny Cade at least some joy. But he held little hope at achieving that goal ..none of the others had died quietly...or quickly enough. Van could never forget their screams. And he had just stood by and watched them die, both the deserving and undeserving alike. Now, as he faced that same death, he knew no one deserved this fate.  
  
Cade's jeering broke him from his thoughts, "Aren't you going to tell me I won't get away with this? That killing a cop will get me the death sentence?"   
  
Van's eyes met Cade's. "You don't care about consequences, Cade. You never have."  
  
Surprise was written on Cade's face and he said nothing but turned again to his driving.  
  
Van let his options play out in his head. It only took a blinking of an eye because he had but one option. He couldn't get to his feet without Cade taking notice. And Cade stood just out of reach for him to make a lunge for his legs. Bastard never miscalculated his adversary's options. No, Van knew he had but one moment to make a move...his last move if he failed. When the boat stopped, when Cade hauled him to his feet, that was the opening he had to overtake Cade. In spite of that fact, Van wasn't laying odds in his favor to come out of the struggle as the victor but it was the only play to make. He would not die without a fight, Raymond Ray had instilled that in him.  
  
At that thought, Van almost laughed aloud. Since Cade had reentered his life, he had thought of death as a welcome escape. It struck him funny that now, when death was almost certain, it seemed inconceivable that anyone would welcome death's cold touch. 'Watch what you wish for..' ran through his head a smirk pulling onto his face. 'Figures, I'm gonna die with a damn cliché running through my head.'  
  
The boat slowed and came to a stop and Van's smirk was replaced with a bitter set of his jaw. "Well, this is the spot. I can't see any sharks but then again, I never did until I served up their dinner, remember?" Cade said, as he shut off the boat and turned to face Van, his gun pulled and trained on the injured man as he leaned nonchalantly against the side of the boat. "Time's up, Van. Any last words...you want to offer me a trade for your life...or how about you just start begging now."  
  
Hatred brimmed in Van at Cade's taunts. "You know if I was really your son, I woulda offed myself in grade school. Ray Ray might not be up for father of the year but he's not a sick bastard like you. You're not father material, Cade. You never were."  
  
Van's words were barely out before Cade kicked him in the stomach like he was trying for a field goal...from the other end zone. The air whooshed from Van and he began to topple to his side. He didn't get in a breath before another quarterback kick slammed into his chest.  
  
"You ungrateful prick!" Cade yelled, landing yet another kick to Van's stomach and enjoying the cry of pain from the cop. "I offered you the lifestyle...twice.. and twice you betrayed me...betrayed my trust! I never gave anyone, anyone the breaks I gave you! You think Ray Ray would have been so forgiving! The bastard didn't even care that I was forcing you to work for me! He didn't care about you Van...he never did...never will. It's always all about him! Me, I risked my standing within the organization to keep you alive..to give you this second chance!"  
  
Gasping in breath, Van turned his head up to Cade, his eyes burning with defiance. "I never wanted a second chance," he forced out from his tortured lungs, "and I sure as hell never wanted your love. If that's all you're offering now, I'll take the sharks."  
  
For the first time, ever, Van saw pain flicker in Cade's eyes. The bastard had a heart to hurt after all. Van had no time to dwell on that revelation as Cade brutally grabbed his arm and his hair and dragged him to his feet. Having not steeled himself for the task of standing, Van's injured leg crumbled under him. Cade's ruthless grip alone kept Van upright, leaning against the side of the boat.   
  
Leaning in close, Cade's eyes met Van's and whatever weakness Van had perceived a moment ago had been swept away by sadistic fury. "You prefer the sharks to me? I like that, Van." Then he smiled and Van cringed. Somehow he had always feared that his last looks upon this life would include one of Cade's smiles and now it seemed he had been right. But sooner than usual, Cade's smile fell away and the pained look reentered his eyes. "This will pay your debt... in full," and before Van could make his planned move, Cade pushed him backwards to tumble head first into the water.   
  
Gripped with terror, Van had vainly tried to catch onto something that would prevent him from landing into the feeding trough for sharks. But his bound hands could not find a purchase on the smooth fiberglass of the boat side. His impact with the water felt like the first nail in his coffin, as salt water choked him and he did a forward roll under water to thrust his head out of the water. Immediately he tried to propel himself up the side of the boat to latch onto the edge where Cade stood all the while treading water only with his feet as his bound hands offered little help.   
  
Adrenalin born of terror blessed him with the scaling abilities of spiderman but even as he gripped the edge of the boat, Cade put a hand to his head and ruthlessly shoved him back into the water. Again Van went under and came up coughing up water. Cade now propped a leg on the edge of the boat and looked down at Van without regret, pity or compassion. "Did you know, it only takes one drop of blood to attract a shark? And you..well you got more than one drop coming pouring out of you, Van."  
  
Van again tried to repeat his earlier feat but he did not make it high enough to grip the edge and slid down the fiberglass back into the water.  
  
Cade's eyes focused on something behind Van. "Begging me for mercy won't get you anywhere. Maybe you should beg him for mercy instead." And he jerked his head to something he spied behind Van.  
  
Panicked , Van jerked around as quick as he could and fear the like he had never experienced before engulfed him. A grey fin was cutting through the water ten yards away...heading straight for him. Gulping in air, Van dove under the boat, praying that he could come up on the other side of the boat, scale the side and be in the boat before Cade could stop him.   
  
Every second Van expected to feel shark teeth tear into his flesh but he made it to the other side of the boat and broke the surface. Making a jump for the edge of the boat, his fingertips gripped the side but lost their purchase, sending him crashing back into the water. As quickly as he could he resurfaced and tried again to climb into the boat but Cade was suddenly there, shoving him back into the water mid jump. "There's more coming Van. I count three so far but some go deeper and you can't see their fin. In fact, there's probably one under you right now."  
  
Van's heart pounded harshly in his chest. This was it. He was going to die a horrible death and Cade was going to stand there and watch it like a movie. Van wanted to beg Cade not to do this, to spare him this fate because he gave a damn about him, maybe just a little. But he did not even open his mouth to begin the plea. Cade only got pleasure out of hearing others plead. Van would not give him that satisfaction. Instead he began to back away from the boat and the sharks that smelled his blood, but with his hands tied he could not even try to swim away, and, as useless as that action would be, at least it would have given him a few more moments of life, moments where he still fought against his fate. Like this, he could not offer any struggle. No, all he could do was make peace with God and pray for a quick death.  
  
Then a fin broke the surface three yards from him. Suddenly, the rest of the world faded to Van. The only thing he knew was the feel of the water, the pounding of his heart, his dread of the attack and the terror that filled his soul. The fin cut swiftly through the water and one thought screamed through Van. "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!"  
  
Suddenly, the fin was almost close enough to touch. He steeled himself for his fate. Then a gunshot rang out and blood tainted the water in front of him and the fin slowly disappeared from sight. For the first time, Van took notice that Cade's boat was no longer stationary but swiftly cutting through the water and he could see out of the corner of his eye that another boat approached. But his full attention was drawn to the two fins that came toward him.   
  
"Van!" Deaq yelled as Billie drew their boat behind Van. "Van grab my hand!" he ordered, leaning as far over the boat as he could without toppling into the water himself, his one handed grip on the railing anchoring him to the boat. His fingers brushed Van's head but he could not snag onto Van's clothing.   
  
Turning his back on the approaching sharks was one of the hardest things Van had ever done. And it took complete faith in Deaq to accomplish. But he did it, he turned around and reached his bound hands out to Deaq's outstretched hand.   
  
Instantly, Deaq latched onto Van's hand and drew him up to the boat and began to lift him from the water but with Van's hands bound together he could not get the leverage he needed to pull Van into the boat. "Billie, help!!" he screamed, his eyes riveted to the fins that drew closer to Van.  
  
Before Deaq's call was complete, Billie was beside him, leaning over the side as dangerously as Deaq. She gripped Van's upper arm and pulled with all her might even as Deaq did the same. Finally they got Van onto the boat but their momentum sent all three cops tumbling to the floor of the boat.  
  
Van lay on the boat floor, his cheek resting on the now wet surface, unable to move. All he could do was draw in deep breaths and try to comprehend his survival. His friends' voices seemed far away.  
  
"Deaq! He's hurt..his leg!"   
  
"Damn it! We didn't get here in time!"  
  
Vaguely, Van was aware that he was gently being rolled onto his back. He offered no fight or reaction. It was as if he and his body were no longer one. He doubted it would do his bidding even if he had the initiative to offer up a command.  
  
Deaq felt panic as he rolled Van over and his partner's body was limp and unresponsive in his hands. Van's head rolled to the side to rest on the boat floor, his eyes open but glassy. Pulling out his pocketknife, Deaq cut the fishing line that wound around Van's bloody wrists. Gently but quickly, he unwrapped the brutal line from the abused flesh and tossed the offensive coil onto the floor. "Van?" he beckoned, brushing Van's wet hair out of his eyes and putting his hand on the side of Van's neck. "Can you hear me, Van?"  
  
Meanwhile, Billie tried to determine the source of the blood that ran in diluted rivers off of Van unto the boat. Due to the large amount of blood loss that marred Van's pant leg, she could not visually locate the wound. Running her fingers down Van's leg, she came into contact with the wound.   
  
A shaft of pain shot up Van's leg and a cry of pain erupted from him. Deaq desperately latched onto Van's renewed level of consciousness. Taking Van's face in his hands and turning his partner's head so their eye met, he entreated, "Come on, Van. Talk to me!" But Van's eyes did not register recognition. "Damn it! He's slipping into shock!" Deaq's sought out Billie's.  
  
Looking up from Van's wound, Billie snarled, "The sharks didn't do this. Roberts used his damn ice pick again!" Scanning the boat, she spied a first aid kit stored in the side panel behind her. Pulling it free, she hastily opened it and began unwrapping bandages and applying them to the savage wound, all the while numbering the ways she wanted to torture Cade Roberts.  
  
Deaq was torn between the need to get behind the wheel of the boat and get Van to a hospital as fast as possible and the need to get Van to fend off the shock that was settling over him. If Van truly went into shock... Deaq knew no hospital would be close enough to save him.  
  
Refocusing on Van's pale face and unresponsive eyes, Deaq leaned over his partner and gave Van's head a small gentle shake. When that garnered no response, he resorted to taunts, praying for results. "I thought you California beach boys were tough! Guess you're all "In my room" and "Help me Rhonda". I told you listening to that music had made you soft!" He shook Van's head slightly back and forth, "Start talking Van!" Deaq ordered, his desperation evident in his voice. "Start defending your favorite boy band or I'm...I'm going start singing 'Once in my life'."  
  
Van blinked and slowly Deaq saw recognition spark back into his friend's eyes. "Don't," Van breathed out so softly that Deaq had to put his ear close to Van's lips to hear the words. "Please... don't....torture ....me...by...singing...Deaq."  
  
Laughter broke from Deaq and he couldn't refrain from giving Van a hug before he pulled back and met Van's slightly rejuvenated eyes. "You scare me like that again and ...." he faltered as his worry still could not be dissipated, "Just don't scare me like that again, ever, partner. Feel me?"  
  
"I ..feel..you," Van replied, as a tremor coursed through him.   
  
Seeing Van's shiver, Deaq removed his coat and tightly wrapped it around Van. "Hang on, partner. I'll get you to the hospital before you can name all the Beach Boy songs."  
  
Deaq's eyes flickered to Billie who was tying off the bandage around Van's leg. An understanding passed between them and Billie nodded her head and moved up to Van's head. She soothingly talked to Van as she began to wind a cloth bandage around one of his lacerated wrists. Having been relieved of his post beside Van, Deaq stood up, crossed over to the steering wheel and brought the engine to life. Immediately the boat surged forward, slicing through the calm water with ease.  
  
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
"I can not believe we're back here again," Deaq sighed, scanning the hospital waiting room. "I half expect some candy striper to hand me a flyer 'bout frequent visitor discounts."  
  
Billie snorted at that. "Discounts? In a hospital? Now I know you're totally creased!" and she looked to Deaq, a smile turning up her lips.   
  
"Creased?" Deaq mockingly exclaimed, "I'm way beyond creased or bent or ...anything."  
  
"He's O.K., Deaq," she quietly and sincerely reassured.  
  
Deaq did not meet her eyes but instead looked down the hallway to the door he knew Van was behind. "That was too damn close, Billie. If we were a few seconds later..."  
  
"But we weren't," Billie cut in firmly. "We can't afford to dwell on what ifs.. .not in this job, Deaq."  
  
"I know. You're right." Deaq sighed and turned to his boss. "But sometimes the what ifs keep me awake at night. And this one...it'll keep me awake for a long time to come."   
  
For a moment Billie said nothing then she nodded her head in agreement, "I know...me too." At Deaq's surprised expression she smiled and confessed, "I could really use a cigarette."  
  
Being the ever helpful subordinate, Deaq offered with a smirk, "I could run to a mini market and grab you a pack."  
  
"Don't help me," she threatened but her eyes twinkled with humor. Before she could threaten Deaq with some horrible fate, her beeper went off. Pulling it free from her belt she saw the number that flashed and turned to Deaq. "It's the Feds."  
  
"OHHH," Deaq laughed, "Bet they are pissed!"  
  
"You think?" Billie sarcastically replied but a smile soon sprang to her lips. "I'll go outside and give them a call."   
  
As she began to walk down the hallway, Deaq called out, "Keep my name outta it, Billie." She didn't even humor him with a reaction but kept walking.  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
Deaq slipped in between the curtains used to cordon off each patient in the emergency exam room. He smiled at Van, who was lying on a bed, his leg heavily bandaged. "Hey partner,"   
  
Van smiled, "Hey, Deaq."   
  
To Deaq's surprise, Van said no more. Claiming a seat on the bed beside Van's uninjured leg, Deaq at first did not know what to say. So much had happened...and not happened. Then the words burst from him, his anguish unhidden, "Van, I know it doesn't mean a thing, but I'm sorry! I didn't have your back! I shoulda shut the whole idea down from the starting line! Letting you stay under with Roberts...it was a mistake...a mistake that came so close to ending your life.." here he looked away and hung his head.   
  
Deaq's emotions struck Van. Hard. He wasn't expecting Deaq to shoulder any of the guilt...guilt that Van knew rested solely in his lap. And somehow, he didn't expect Deaq to care about him as much as his emotional state proclaimed he did. Van snapped Deaq's arm, causing his partner to flinch in startled pain and swing his irked gaze to Van. "You're apologizing for no reason, dude. Unless you're apologizing for saving my life out there?" a twinkle entering Van's eyes.  
  
But Deaq would not be cajoled, "You wouldna needed saving if I didn't let Roberts take off with you."  
  
"Deaq, there was nothing you could have done! It was my plan and I knew the risks...all of them. It was a price I was willing to pay to see this thing play out."  
  
"But I wasn't, Van! I'm not ready to lose you, Van....not like I did Dre! Again there you are not thinking..."  
  
Deaq's scolding, produced a smirk on Van's face and he finished, "yeah, I know...'you're my partner, you're suppose to know where I am...if I'm OK...or if I'm just an idiot.'"  
  
Anger tried to settle on Deaq but instead he chuckled. "Ah, man. Stop quoting me!"  
  
This only egged Van on and he gave his best impersonation of Deaq with, "Hey, I'm not saying..I'm just saying."  
  
Deaq pointed a menacing finger at Van but he couldn't wipe the smile from his face, "Shut up or I'll make you eat a maraschino cherry!"  
  
"Forget it, dude! You will never get that past my sealed lips!" Van laughed back, waving his hands in a 'no way' gesture.  
  
"Sealed lips?!" Deaq sputtered, "You can't keep your lips sealed for more than two seconds!"  
  
"Whoa, Dr Phil. You're the one that always wants to analyze my every word. And guess what, I have to talk for your favorite past time to actually work."  
  
"Favorite past time?! You're..."but Billie drew back the curtain at that moment and gave them both a look they had not received from anyone except their mothers.  
  
"You two trying to get booted out of here or are you trying for a transfer to the psycho ward, Van?" The harshness of the barb was destroyed by the accompanying smile she wore.  
  
Both men pointed to the other and said at the same time, "He started it," which sent all three officers into a fit of laughter that rang through the exam room. Billie eyes assessed Van's health even as she asked, "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like an extra in "Jaws" who didn't get paid enough," Van quirked but at Billie's raised eyebrow, he sighed and truthfully answered, "I feel like crap but I'm alive and that's good enough for me."  
  
Smiling, Billie nodded her head but Van knew she wasn't saying something she should. He didn't have to make more than one guess, "You got the 411 on Cade, right? I can handle it, Billie," his serious tone and steady gaze telling her that he would not be sheltered from the bad news she seemed to be hiding from him.  
  
Billie felt Deaq and Van's eyes riveted to her. It was time to lay out the bad news. Fearing that Van's reaction would be detrimental to his fragile health, she pointedly watched his every feature as she ripped the victory from their hands. "Cade Roberts was picked up by the Coast Guard and turned over to the Feds."  
  
That news should have gotten a whoop of jubilation from Van and Deaq but both knew this was just the good news before the absolutely sucky news.   
  
"Alright, now tell us the second part," Deaq prodded, hitting Billie with his intense look. "You know the part that's gonna piss me off and make me go Scarface right here and now."  
  
Billie focused on Van, took a deep breath and let the words out slowly, "Roberts is walking."  
  
"What the hell!" Deaq exclaimed, surging to his feet and facing off with Billie. "We got him pegged at '2' warehouses with swag and we personally saw him try his damnest to kill, Van. Roberts can't walk!"  
  
"But he is," Billie's voice could have cut glass. Sighting again on Van she was surprised that no rage reflected in his face but instead a sad look flickered in his eyes. And somehow that scared her to her core. Putting a hand on Van's shoulder, she promised, her voice full of deadly intent, "Don't worry. We'll bring him down using another angle. This is not over."  
  
"Hell, no, it ain't over. I promised to put that man in a cage or a casket and I'm gonna see it done," Deaq venomously swore.   
  
Van's eyes flickered to Deaq and he knew his partner would do it too. For him. Because they were partners...because they were even friends. A sad smile pulled onto Van's face and he gave a small snort of laughter, "My plan worked. My plans always work."  
  
"What plan? He's walking, Van." Billie gently reiterated.  
  
Meeting Billie's look head on, Van stated, "He was always gonna walk, Billie. I knew that from the jump off."  
  
Deaq looked to Van with admiration in his eyes. "And you played your game expecting that."  
  
Van's smile turned into a smirk, "I guess it's time to bring you guys up to speed."  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
The door to Cade's house stood open and Van did not meet any of Cade's staff as he walked with a decided limp down the hallway toward Cade's study. The Feds had not been kidding when they told Billie they had picked up everyone associated with Cade for questioning. They still hadn't come to grips with the cold hard truth: Cade Roberts was beyond their grasp.  
  
On the threshold of the study, Van casually leaned on the door frame, satisfaction spreading through him at the almost dejected looking Cade sitting in his leather chair behind his desk, one hand tightly gripping an alcohol filled tumbler, while his eyes stayed focused down to a paper on the desk. "It's looking a little lonely at the top, Cade," Van quirked.  
  
Cade's head snapped up and he tried to put on the mask of unflappable control he always wore. "How was your swim?" he retorted, malice eroding any façade he wanted to convey.  
  
"It was a bite...almost," Van sallied back, a twinkle sparkling in his eyes as his lips turned up in a smirk. "You shoulda stuck around for the finale."  
  
"Sorry I missed that...your finale, that is." Cade drained his glass and poured another generous helping. "Drink?" he offered raising the decanter to Van.  
  
"Sure," Van accepted and he walked over to stand in front of Cade's desk, without a limp or a flicker of pain. Cade had gotten enough satisfaction at seeing him in pain. He would get no more.  
  
Having filled a glass for his guest, Cade handed the tumbler to Van and nodded to a chair.  
  
"I'll stand," Van declined and took a swallow of the liquor.   
  
Cade leaned back into his chair and looked hard at Van. "So you played your hand and lost. What now? You want to beg for your friends' lives again."  
  
"Nope." Van sat the glass down and let his gaze sear boldly into the man he hated most in the world. "My debt's clear, remember? You threw me into the water...with sharks if my memory serves me...and said, and I quote 'This will pay your debt... in full.' I'm free...you set me free, dude."  
  
In fury, Cade sat upright and hissed, "You think you're free...you think your debt's off the books?!  
  
Van smirked, "I am ..and it is." Then Van leaned over the desk and invaded Cade's personal space. "You better start worrying about paying off your own debt, Cade."  
  
Cade derogatorily snorted, "To you?!"  
  
"No," and a smile lit up Van's face, "to your boss. I bet he's gonna be pissed when he learns you've been stealing from him."   
  
But Cade had a ready response, "If you're talking about the content of my personal warehouse...it's all well documented, Van." Cade laughed, enjoying the fact that he was once again slipping through Van's noose. The kid would never learn: the student never beat the master. "I cover myself, Van. Everything in there looks like I brought it in by my own ties. Hell, I once offered to give my boss a tour of my warehouse...he declined, though. Sorry, kid. You can't win against me. That's the lesson you've never learned." But Cade's tone had begun to lack conviction when Van's smile only grew wider at his words.  
  
Van did not pull back from his face to face with Cade but instead inched closer and whispered conspiratorially, "I know how careful you are but there's one thing in there you can't explain away..it's too unique for your boss to not recognize as his property."  
  
At first confusion marred Cade's face but in instant later Van knew the light bulb had gone on. "The liquor bottles laced with the drugs," Cade breathed.  
  
"See, I knew you'd catch on," Van taunted. "And just in case your boss has a busy schedule this week and doesn't have time to properly research the contents of your private stash...I sent him a copy of the inventory...and I highlighted item number 198 which is, if you couldn't already guess, the case of liquor bottles I gave back to you. You know, render onto Caesar what is Caesar's. "  
  
With gratification, Van watched Cade's eyes darken in fear and disbelief. But those emotions gave way to unquenchable fury in a blinking of an eye. With a cry of rage, Cade began to surge to his feet, pulling the ice pick from his pocket as he went.  
  
More quickly than Cade could imagine, Van's hand wrapped around the back of his neck and yanked his head down to impact harshly with the desktop. And whatever vain hope Cade had of using the ice pick to land a blow was obliterated as Van caught his wrist and twisted it backwards until he heard the bone crack and the ice pick fell from Cade's hand.  
  
A cry of pain had erupted from Cade at the breaking of his bone and it infuriated him. To show Van weakness, to let the man know he had forced that cry from him. With a bellow of rage, Cade tried to escape Van's hold while his uninjured hand blindly reached for Van.  
  
"You're pathetic," Van spat out and released the man as quickly as he had seized him.   
  
Instantly Cade came to his feet, blood now running down his cheek from a gash on his forehead and his breath loud in the room as the two men faced off.   
  
"Come on," Van challenged and beckoned Cade to him with a wave of his fingers. Cade did not hesitate and Van backed up a step or two to stand in the center of the room as Cade came to stand before him. "This is what you've wanted all along...to know if I had it in me to be your successor...or, and this is what kept you awake at night, just maybe, maybe I woulda turned out to be the one to replace you. And it woulda been me taking you on a last ride to the ocean or the desert."  
  
"I was wrong about you from the start," Cade growled as he and Van circled one another like predators. "You're too soft for the livestyle...too gutless."  
  
"I beat the livestyle. I beat you, Cade, in your own game," Van threw back, knowing it would put Cade into motion. With that knowledge Van easily ducked Cade's roundhouse punch and landed his own uppercut solidly to Cade's jaw.  
  
Stumbling backward at the blow, Cade shook his head, trying to get his vision to come into focus again. When it snapped back into place, he charged for Van and felt satisfaction as his fist connected with Van's cheek, sending the younger man back a step or two. He pursued Van, ready to exploit the man's weakened state but Van surprised him by bringing the fight back to him with a punch to the stomach followed by a powerful punch to Cade's right eye.  
  
Cade hit the ground like a sack of grain, stunned to find himself down and sluggish in his motions to regain his feet.   
  
"Get up," Van growled and watched as Cade wavered as he climbed to his feet. But when Cade made the final motion to stand upright, Van had seen Cade's hand snake into his jacket after his gun. Cade didn't believe in playing fair: ever. Before Cade's fingers could even touch his gun, Van had stalked menacingly over to Cade and in one fluid motion, his hand latched onto Cade's throat, and he slammed the man flat out on the floor.   
  
Distracted by surprise and pain, Cade's hand had fallen away from it's intended path. Van tightened his grip on Cade's throat and calmly pulled Cade's gun from his holster and tossed it across the room. Gasping for breath, Cade wrapped his uninjured hand wrapped around Van's wrist in a vain effort to dislodge the choke hold.  
  
Van leaned over Cade, increasing his crushing hold on the man's windpipe as he meet his reaper's eyes head on. "You lose, Cade. The student becomes the teacher. Actually, I owe you some gratitude...you made me into the cop I am today...in fact, I would have never become a cop without your influence. Doesn't fate suck?"  
  
Cade tried to speak but he could hardly draw in enough breath to breathe and his strength was faltering as a void was starting to edge his vision. His hand dropped limply from it's grasp on Van's wrist and he stopped trying to roll clear from Van. He was helpless against Van...against the void that was starting to claim him. And terror clawed at his soul.  
  
Realizing that Cade was on the edge of unconsciousness, Van pulled his hand away from Cade's throat like it was a flame. He watched with relief as Cade drew in a gasping breath. Cade's blood would not be on his hands. No, Cade's fate would be of his own making...he would have to pay the consequences of his debt to the mafia. And Van knew that debt would claim Cade's life.  
  
For the last time, Cade's eyes met Van's and Van could see the shame of defeat hung heavily on Cade. "Goodbye, Cade," Van quietly bade before climbing to his feet and walking for the door. He did not turn around and Cade, for once, did not offer any parting insults. No markers lay between them anymore. All debts were paid in full.  
  
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
Deaq paced in front of Cade's door while Billie sat on the porch step. Van had argued long and hard with his friends but he had finally made them see that he had to finish this thing with Cade himself, regardless of how close to death he looked. But when he made another condition, namely that he face Cade alone, he had nearly lost the whole battle. It was only the truth of his words that swayed the odds again to his favor. "I want my soul back, all of it. And that fight's just between Cade and me. Billie, I know you understand that." Reluctantly Billie had nodded her head and Deaq had sighed in defeat but offered up a condition of his own. "Fine but we're going to be right outside and if I hear anything, I mean anything I don't like, I'm coming to make good on my promise to put Roberts away...one way or another."  
  
"Fair enough," Van relented and he and Deaq tapped their fists together.  
  
But now Deaq was consumed with the fear that Van would not walk out of Cade's house alive. That thought pushed his promise to Van right out of his mind and he stalked for the door, intent on finding Van. He almost plowed into his partner, who came limping out of the door.   
  
Deaq clasped Van by the shoulders and questioned, "You alright, Van?" as he noted the blood on his partner's cheek and his pale face.  
  
But Van did not answer Deaq's question but quietly requested, "Let's get outta here."  
  
Billie, who had surged to her feet at Van's appearance, tried to read Van to know the details of his parting with Roberts. "Can Roberts hurt you yet?" she quietly asked, uncertain of what kind of answer she expected or what her own actions would be to his reply. She would not allow that bastard another opportunity to hurt Van...ever again.  
  
"He won't get the chance," Van quietly said and his eyes rested on something behind Deaq. With a nod of his head he turned his friends' attention to the three Italian men walking toward them. Billie and Deaq stepped down off the porch to give the three men a clear path for the door. Van stood by the threshold of the door. The first man did not stop before Van but gave the cop a slight nod before entering the house. The two men that followed didn't even acknowledge the three cops. They were trained dogs, they knew their objective: To make sure all debts got paid...in full.   
  
Without a word, Billie, Deaq and Van walked to their car, got in and drove away.  
  
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
  
Van watched the waves crash onto the beach and took in a deep breath of sea air. Only a few people were populating this section of the beach and he was grateful for the solitude. He needed time to sort things out in his head. The sound of Deaq's voice caught him off guard and his eyes snapped up to see his partner at his side.  
  
"Didn't expect to find you here," Deaq quietly greeted as he claimed a seat in the sand beside Van, focusing his look on his partner.   
  
"So why'd you look here?" Van retorted, half frustrated to be found and half glad for the company.  
  
"'Cause I ran outta places to look," came Deaq's truthful reply, which earned him Van's startled look.   
  
Van was touched that Deaq had come looking for him. It wasn't like they were partners right now, not with Van out on sick leave. For a moment he simply stared at Deaq, expecting the man to begin to talk shop, to prove that all that held them together was the job. But Deaq's next words were not spoken partner to partner but friend to friend and Van knew that without a doubt. And for that reason alone, he allowed Deaq access into his thoughts.  
  
Gently, Deaq prodded, "So tell me, why here?"  
  
Pulling his look from his friend, Van's eyes again sought out the ocean that was endlessly laid out before him. His words were barely audible. "Because I don't want him to steal this from me....he's stolen enough things I can't get back. I won't let him steal any more."  
  
Deaq nodded his head in understanding. "Feel that."  
  
Silence fell between them but it was a comforting silence as they both watched the surfers in the water.  
  
"The Feds aren't sure if they want to prosecute me or give me a citation of achievement," Van said, turning to face Deaq with a smile turning up his lips. "With the two warehouse busts, they've made their quota for the next three years."  
  
To this Deaq carefully added, "And with Roberts dead, the Feds have a shot at keeping his old region clean...at least for awhile." He watched Van closely, wondering what kind of reaction he would get at the mention of Roberts but Van did not shy away from Deaq's scrutiny nor the topic of Roberts.  
  
"The mafia probably had someone already set up to manage Club 9 even as the bullet hit Cade's skull. Cade was just a small piece of the machine...who dreamed of being at the helm." Van turned his look again to the ocean, suddenly glad to have Deaq with him. Cade was dead but his memory...that would take a long time to fade.  
  
Deaq was trying to think of what to say to Van, to somehow take away the haunted look that still lingered in his eyes. But Van's next words caught him totally unaware.  
  
"And don't ever dis the Beach Boys," and Van sighted his look on Deaq, trying to keep the smile off of his face. "They are all time and everyone with any hearing knows that."  
  
"Get real," Deaq scoffed and broke into a high pitched mockery of 'Be true to your school.'  
  
Van laughed, "Alright, I gotta say that one's kinda weak. But then there's.." and he began singing 'California girls.'  
  
But Deaq interrupted with another parody, this time of 'In the warmth of the sun.'  
  
In retaliation, Van loudly belted out the chorus for "409".  
  
Without warning, a voice behind them broke into their fight with one name, "Elvis Presley."  
  
Both looked straight up to see Billie standing directly behind them, wearing a swimsuit and holding a surf board.   
  
"What?" Deaq and Van said together in confusion.  
  
She came around to stand directly in front of them and shrugged her shoulders as if to say she was only stating a truth everyone knew. "Elvis is all time, hands down."  
  
Van's protest was instantaneous. "He's not a boy band!"  
  
To this Billie gave a condescending smile, "Because he didn't need a crutch."  
  
"A crutch?" Deaq repeated in outrage. "You saying all members of a boy band can't fly solo like Elvis did?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Van was quick to dispute her claim. "Oh you are so wrong and we could spend all day proving it! Right Deaq?  
  
"Straight up, dog!" Deaq agreed.  
  
With a smug smile, Billie gave the knock out, "111 gold, platinum and multi-platinum records." She relished their stunned looks and concluded with, "I'm not saying...I'm just saying," and then she walked to the water's edge and paddled out on her surf board like it was second nature to her.  
  
Van and Deaq turned to one another to confer. "She knows no one's beat that," Van hissed.  
  
"I think that proves her point, Van," Deaq sarcastically came back with.  
  
"Yeah, but we're supposed to be proving our point."  
  
"But our point just got decimated by a truckload of gold, platinum and multi platinum records."  
  
Incredulously Van demanded, "So, that's it?! You're giving up?!"  
  
Realizing that his partner was not going to let this go, Deaq climbed to his feet, "Hey, she wouldn't be here if you didn't go AWOL and make us track you down."  
  
Van began to climb to his feet and Deaq quickly offered his aid but it didn't even earn him a reprieve from their discussion. "You didn't have to tell her where I was. This coulda stayed just between you, me and the Beach boys. But no, you gotta tell her I'm at the beach and, boom, she dives into a bathing suit, grabs a surf board and comes down here and screws everything up by saying "Elvis Presley." I mean who can top "Elvis Presley?!"  
  
"No one, Van. That's her point," Deaq said as he began to walk away from Van toward the water. "You know, I think the water's calling me. Maybe surfing ain't so bad after all...especially since you can't follow me out there 'cause of your injuries."  
  
Undeterred by Deaq's words or retreat, Van followed his partner right up to the surf. But when he made to enter the water, Deaq swung around and put his hand on Van's chest, halting the man's progress. "Here I gotta draw the line, Van. Now go over there and work on your tan."  
  
"I already got the perfect tan."  
  
"Well then get a perfecter tan." And Deaq turned Van around and gave him a gentle shove back to the beach, safely out of the range of the surf. "And stay outta trouble."  
  
But Van spun around and offered up a parting taunt,"Watch it, Deaq. You almost sound like you care,"   
  
"Fool that I am, I do care. I knew we shoulda kept it clean and simple.." Deaq replied, shaking his head in mock disappointment.  
  
Van smiled, "And not become friends."  
  
"Stop quoting me!"  
  
"Make me!"   
  
With one quick motion, Deaq bent down, scooped up a handful of water and sent it splashing into Van's face.   
  
"Ohh, you will pay for that, dude" Van laughed as the water ran down his face and he began to approach Deaq.  
  
"Van... you can't get your leg wet...Van stop right there." Deaq warned as he stepped backwards further and further into the ocean.   
  
Van watched in glee as a wave came up behind Deaq and sent the man down into the sand. But the next second Van found himself back pedaling hard to not get soaked by that same wave.  
  
Coming out of the water sputtering, Deaq accused, "You set me up!"  
  
"And you "fell" for it!" Van quirked but soon began to back away as his friend came determinedly out of the water. "I'm injured, Deaq. Remember?"  
  
Billie watched the antics of Deaq and Van from her vantage point on her surf board. So many times in the past weeks, she had begun to lose hope that there would be a happy ending to the tale. And how close she and Deaq had come to losing Van...twice...she didn't want to think about...ever again.   
  
She smiled as Deaq, using a sand bucket he confiscated from a little boy, dumped water over Van's head. "Those two are such children," she said aloud. Then, with a smile on her face, she began to paddle for shore, fighting back a sigh, 'The things one does for one's family.'  
  
The End.  
  
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A HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS STORY!! AND TO THOSE WHO LEFT ME A REVIEW.....YOU ARE THE BEST!!!! WITHOUT YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT THIS STORY WOULD HAVE TANKED OUT AT CHAPTER ONE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR DEDICATION TO FASTLANE, VAN, DEAQ AND BILLIE... MAY THEY WILL NEVER SLOW DOWN IN OUR MEMORIES   
  
DKM: I have to admit, I loved writing the action in last chapter and this chapter. I love being sadistic!!! And it was pure fun making Cade more evil with each revealed secret. I know you didn't want anything too bad to happen to Van in this chapter...well, he lived..that's a good point right? As for another story in the works, sadly no, I don't. This may be my swan song and that kinda has me blue. This was so fun writing and getting your reviews was a pure delight. I'm gonna miss talking to you!!!! You've reviewed this story from chapter 1 and I always looked forward to hearing your thoughts...you kept me writing, though my writer's block, confusing plot and loose ends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You truly made a difference in my life by being a good friend who always encouraged me and stayed loyal and amused me greatly with every word in her reviews. Good luck with art school, life and all your stories!  
  
Bjp: Queen of cliff hangers? I love that!! And what a compliment you gave me!!! ("I'm sorry you weren't writing for the show...maybe it would still (be on).") Writing for tv...now that's been my dream since I discovered writing stories. I'll never get there but the belief you have in me...that's probably a sweeter victory than getting the writing job, anyway. Thank you so much for your loyalty to this story and to me. I soaked up every word you wrote. Best of luck in life!  
  
Valentine Blue: Sexy Van in angst...I love the picture myself. Yummy!! I'm really pleased with myself that I had you on the edge of your seat...no wait, on the floor (grins evilly).   
  
And the fact that you want this an episode ... you got me blushing! But it would be great seeing Van take all this abuse and getting Deaq and Billie to show how much he means to them. Gosh..I'm such a sap. (As if you couldn't tell that already?!?!) Well, it's time to say goodbye! Thank you so much for you reviews. Have a great life!  
  
Fan4fastln: Yes, I know. I kept you on the edge of your seat for 2 weeks. That was very cruel of me and I apologize! Glad you thought Van was still acting in character last chapter..I always worry when I take a character to their "limit" if I've taken them maybe too far. And yes, winding this puppy down was hard ...harder than I thought and in hind sight, I should have split this chapter up but ...it was too late, I had already said one more chapter to go. Sorry but I do not have plans to write another Fastlane story. This will have to be my tribute to the show unless I get rehooked down the road. But it was truly sad to finish it and yet I felt happy to have wrapped it up. Thank you for all your reviews ...beginning in chapter 1!! I'll miss them! Hope you get the best out of life!  
  
Almarates: As good as you thought last chapter was, I'm crossing my fingers that this one tops it?! Well, now that it's all said and done, how'd I do? Hope to hear from you. Thank you for reviewing this story from the start. I really appreciated your encouragement! Every writer needs someone there to prod them and you were that for me. Thank you. I wish you the best!  
  
Leann: Poor Van did become more friendly with sharks than I EVER want to be. (Did I tell you how terrified I am of being a victim of a shark attack?!?!) Now that things have ended, I wanted to thank you so much for all your reviews! You reviewed from Chapter 1 and I appreciate your loyalty! It really meant a lot to me! Good luck in life!  
  
Sheba-jcf: thank you for breaking your own code and reviewing! I know, I'm not one to review a lot either. Sometimes I just don't have anything original to say. I'm really pleased that you liked the storyline and thought I portrayed the characters well. I wanted it to be like the show...no AU here. As for writing on ffnet, yes, sometimes you have great ideas but getting them down..that's the real tricky thing. But keep at it! There is nothing quite like writing and getting a chance to hear reviews...that's outta this world. Glad I could offer some inspiration! Good luck in writing and life!  
  
Electricgurl: Well, you got your wish...Cade was "offed". And I couldn't allow Van to do it but I also couldn't let Van walk away without inflicting some serious pain on Cade. I hope that satisfied your blood lust as it did mine. I truly hope this last chapter did the story justice. Thank you for each review you gave! Have a great life!  
  
Fairy-mills: I'm so glad you liked my previous chapters enough to compare them with an episode of the show! Hope this "season finale" worked for you. Love to hear from you. Best wishes for your future!  
  
Sirith: Computer virus?!? Yikes! I hate that!! It always makes me realize how obsessed I am with the internet. (I know, me obsessed, that's a real shocker!) Thank you for thinking I have talent. I hope you liked this ending?! And I'm always hopeful that more fastlane fics will emerge. I still need my fix of Van! Thank you so much for your review and I wish you the best in this life!  
  
Well, that's my swan song. Hope you liked the story and I'll love to hear any comments you'd like to make. I will miss you all and I'll miss thinking of new ways to torture yummy Van. I wish everyone the best this life has to offer and I pray NOONE gets into trouble like Van does! (Myself included!)  
  
Cheryl W. 


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